Ave Lilium Translations

Miyagi Shiori’s POV:

            The bathroom was a little cramped, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

            Now that I’d washed up, both my hair and body felt clean.

            I slowly lowered myself deeper into the bathtub, the hot water nearly spilling over the edge.

            It was warm and comfortable enough that it felt like I could fall asleep the moment I closed my eyes.

            — Or at least, that was how this place was supposed to feel.

            But today, I couldn’t quite relax.

            Haah, I let out a long breath, as though emptying my lungs completely.

            I tugged lightly at my bangs.

            My damp hair looked no different from usual, but the scent clinging to it had changed.

            Right now, it smelled just like Sendai-san.

            「This feels… strange.」

            It wasn’t like I’d been particularly attached to the shampoo I used before, but I’d been perfectly satisfied with it and never had any intention of switching to something else.

            But that day, when Sendai-san told me about the dream she’d had where she was sharing bowls of salmon roe over rice with a bunch of penguins, she’d also told me to start using her shampoo. A fair amount of time had passed since then, but today I finally ran out of my own shampoo and conditioner, so I ended up using Sendai-san’s instead. And just like that, the two of us were now sharing the same ones.

            And because of that, it felt like part of me no longer belonged solely to myself anymore.

            I breathed in quietly through my nose.

            Sendai-san always smelled nice, and I liked the scent of her shampoo as well. But now that I was using it too, it felt like I’d lost a part of my usual self, and it made Sendai-san feel far too close.

            With the same hand I’d used to tug at my bangs, I slapped the surface of the water. The hot water splashed against my face, and I wiped the droplets away with my damp hand.

            「How annoying.」

            Since Sendai-san’s shampoo was my shampoo now too, this scent belonged to me as well, so it was strange that it still felt like Sendai-san was right next to me.

            Smack.

            I slapped both cheeks with my hands and glanced around the bathroom.

            Now that my shampoo was gone, the bathroom felt slightly more spacious than usual. Of course, nothing about the room had actually changed, but even the smallest difference—something most people would never notice—felt large enough to swallow me whole.

            ― This isn’t good.

            I stretched my arms up and leaned back against the bathtub.

            As I let out a sigh, the tension slowly drained from my body, and I slid lower against the tub. The moment my hair touched the bathwater, I hurriedly sat back up.

            After stepping out of the bathroom, I dried off my body and wiped my hair with a towel.

            I changed into a set of sweats to sleep in and walked out into the shared living space.

            Opening the fridge, I took out a bottle of barley tea and poured myself a glass.

            Seeing that there wasn’t much left, I thought, Maybe I should buy some more tomorrow, before putting the bottle back in the fridge. Then I took a large sip from the glass.

            The cold barley tea slid down my throat and settled in my stomach.

            Just as I’d finished about half of it, Sendai-san came out of her room.

            She walked up close enough that she could’ve pulled me into a hug, then started sniffing around me like a dog.

            「What are you doing, Sendai-san?」

            「Did you use my shampoo?」

            「You don’t need to ask to know the answer to that, do you?」

            「Well, you do smell like me, but that alone doesn’t tell me whether you actually used it or not.」

            When Sendai-san leaned in to sniff me again, I pushed her stomach to keep her from getting any closer.

            She took a step back.

            But almost immediately after, she stepped closer again and started tugging at my bangs.

            「You’re so stingy, Miyagi.」

            「No I’m not.」

            After making that rude comment while staring intently at my hair, I slapped Sendai-san on the arm.

            「… So, did you use my shampoo, Miyagi?」

            「I did. You don’t have to keep asking me.」

              「I see.」

            She replied, her expression brightening as she added,

            「Want me to dry your hair for you? You should dry it properly, you know.」

            「I’ll do it myself later.」

            「You should just let me do it now.」

            Sendai-san said before leaning closer and pressing a kiss against my freshly washed hair.

Sendai Hazuki’s POV:

            I stared at Miyagi as she held a glass of barley tea in her hands.

            Even though she’d just come out of the bath, she had a slight frown on her face.

            And that was because I’d kissed the hair she’d just washed.

            「Sendai-san, I just got out of the bath, you know.」

            Miyagi grumbled under her breath, but I ignored the complaint and kissed her hair again.

            Miyagi sounded annoyed, but the scent drifting from her was deeply familiar to me.

            We were using the same shampoo now, so naturally we smelled the same too.

            Today was the first time Miyagi used the shampoo I always used, and yet somehow, the scent smelled far nicer on her than it ever did on me. It was strange, considering she was using my shampoo.

            The more mysterious it felt, the more I wanted to keep breathing in Miyagi’s scent forever.

            「Are you not going to take a bath, Sendai-san?」

            「Yeah, I am.」

            「Then hurry up and go already.」

            Sounding annoyed, Miyagi shoved me in the stomach.

            She really was stingy.

            Now that Miyagi smelled the same as me, I wanted to stay by her side a little longer, but she wouldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t even let me dry her hair for her.

            Still unwilling to give up, I spoke up again.

            「I still want to dry your hair for you before I take a bath, though.」

            「I told you I’ll do it myself later, didn’t I?」

            「You’re so stingy, Miyagi.」

            The moment I voiced that quiet complaint, Miyagi kicked me in the leg.

            「Shut up, Sendai-san. Stop saying weird things and hurry up and take a bath already.」

            「Yeah, yeah. I’m going to get ready now.」

            Letting out a sigh, I returned to my room.

            By the time I came back into the shared living space with a change of clothes and a towel, Miyagi was already gone.

            So I headed to the changing room¹, took off my clothes, and stepped into the bathroom.

            ― Our shampoo.

            That was the first thing that caught my eye, and I stepped closer to pick it up.

            It didn’t look like any had been used at all.

            Starting today, Miyagi was using the same shampoo I always used, but after just one use, there was no way to tell whether any had actually been used. It felt like even after ten uses, I still wouldn’t be able to tell.

            But surely, someday, I’d notice the amount decreasing, and eventually I’d realize it was running out faster than when I used it alone.

            I set the shampoo bottle back down and rinsed my body under the shower.

            Nothing about us had changed yesterday or today.

            And surely, nothing would change tomorrow either.

            Just like with the shampoo, a few days wasn’t enough for us to notice any differences in each other. But just like how we used to use different shampoos and somehow ended up sharing the same one, little things would keep happening as we spent our days together. And just like how the shampoo would slowly run out little by little without us even noticing, our days would keep changing in small ways too.

            The changes might not be obvious right away, like our shampoo slowly running out, but surely, we’d notice them eventually.

            Someday, carrying the same scent, the two of us would realize just how much we’d changed.

            I didn’t know what kind of changes they would be, or when that day would come, but I hoped they’d be good ones, and that the day would come soon.

            By then, we might already be using a different shampoo together.

---

1. This was previously mentioned earlier in the story (when Miyagi and Sendai first moved in), but as a refresher, a lot of Japanese homes and apartments have a room for their toilet, and then a different room that contains a changing area that leads into the shower & bathtub. ↩︎

---

This side story was featured as an exclusive purchase bonus if you bought volume 8 from Bookwalker.

Thank you to an anonymous reader for commissioning a translation for it!

---

Click here to return to the Table of Contents

If you came here from part 229, click here to go to part 230! (This will be updated when 230 is out LOL)

This chapter contains suggestive content (and a potential TW: dubious consent) intended for readers 18+. You have been advised.

---

            「Can we use your room, Miyagi?」

            It hadn’t even been a minute since we stepped into the shared living space.

            Sendai-san said it like it was nothing, but even after walking home together the whole way, I still wasn’t ready to have this conversation yet.

            「… For what?」

            I tightened my grip on the coat I’d just taken off.

            「You didn’t forget about our promise, did you?」

            Sendai-san’s words dug into my memory.

            I wished I could’ve forgotten, but there was no way I could. It had been sitting in the back of my mind all day. And Sendai-san definitely knew that too. She knew I’d been trying to avoid it the entire day as well.

            She’s cruel for bringing it up anyway, I thought to myself.

            「The promise where this time, I get to touch you. Or should I put it more plainly? — I want you to keep your promise about us having sex together.」

            Sendai-san broke the silence in a flat voice, quietly watching me.

            She stayed standing in front of me without moving.

            「Why are you using that word today?」

            She didn’t need to say it outright. I remembered our promise perfectly well.

            That day, when I touched Sendai-san, she hadn’t refused me.

            And the reason she hadn’t was because I’d promised that next time, I’d let her do the same to me. And today was that day.

            「I just felt like using it today. Besides, back in high school, we used to say “sex” pretty casually, didn’t we?」

            I had no interest in having a sexual relationship with Sendai-san.

            That was something I’d said back in high school, and Sendai-san had agreed with me then too.

            It was true that we’d never treated it like an embarrassing word. We used it as casually as any other word, and we’d even used it when we made a rule against doing it too.

            「Things are different now.」

            「How are they different?」

            It wasn’t a word I used often or anything, but it was still something I could work into an ordinary conversation without thinking much about it. But now, the word felt far too raw and real, enough to make me hesitate to even say it out loud. That simple three-letter word felt far heavier than it did back then, to the point where it almost felt like saying it carelessly now would crush me beneath its weight.

            「Well…」

            I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence.

            If I put what I was feeling into words, it would make it sound like I thought it was something special.

            「Fine, then let me ask something else. Why are you so averse to doing it with me?」

            「It’s not that I’m averse to it…」

            But even so…

            Today was still a distinct day on the calendar.

            And when this day came around again next year—when the streets were covered in festive colors again and everyone was caught up in the holiday mood—I knew I would end up remembering today no matter what.

            Keeping a promise on a day like this made it feel as though we were placing special emphasis on something we’d already done before. Like we were deliberately turning today into a day we’d never be able to forget, and I didn’t like that.

            I wanted it to become the kind of day that would eventually blur together with all the other dates on the calendar. A day that would become impossible to distinguish from the rest. But it was too late to change it now. And even if we did change the date, it would only remain in my memory as the day we changed it to another day instead.

            「Then what exactly is the problem?」

            「“What,” you ask…」

            Back when we first met, we were just high school students. Now we were university students. We weren’t the same people we used to be.

            Just like how the seasons changed, we changed too, and that was never going to stop. The whole cakes I used to eat every year that always produced leftovers were now eaten clean without a trace, and words I once said without hesitation had become words I could no longer bring myself to say.

            Whether all these changes were good or bad, they were all happening at once, and I was terrified of what kind of person my roommate might eventually become.

            「If you’re worried that doing things like this will stop us from being roommates, don’t be. We were still roommates after the first two times, so the third time won’t change anything either. And besides, it’s winter break, so even if things get a little confusing or muddled for a while, it’ll be fine. Is there anything else you’re worried about? If there is, tell me. I’ll make all your worries disappear.」

            Sendai-san’s voice poured into my ears all at once, and my thoughts couldn’t keep up. I understood what she was saying, but her words slipped through my mind as quickly as they entered it. They broke apart into fragments, leaving behind only the sound of her voice lingering in my head, and I couldn’t manage to say anything back.

            「Miyagi. What are you worried about? Is there something you don’t like? I want you to tell me everything.」

            Sendai-san pressed me, her questions coming one after another.

            Her tone wasn’t like her usual gentle self. Even her expression seemed strangely stiff, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I wanted the usual Sendai-san back, but I couldn’t find the words that would turn her back into herself.

            「Say something already, Miyagi.」

            The words I needed to say.

            They felt like the kind of words that would only push us further away from the way we usually were.

            But I still had to say them.

            The me from back then had used my future self as leverage so I could be allowed to touch Sendai-san.

            That was why the me standing here now had to fulfill that promise.

            「I’ll—」

            The words caught in my throat the moment they left my mouth.

            I couldn’t even bring myself to say something as simple as, “I’ll keep the promise I made.”

            I lowered my gaze to the floor as if trying to run away from Sendai-san.

            Noticing a small scratch there, I rubbed at it with the tip of my shoe.

            「Sorry, I might’ve gone too far. But I just want you to give me an answer, or I might end up saying something else that’ll only trouble you more. Please, Miyagi, don’t make me resort to that.」

            Sendai-san said as her hand brushed through my hair.

            She stroked it gently before pulling away.

            But almost immediately after, her hand moved to my cheek, and her fingertips traced over my earring.

            「… Is this something you want to do?」

            I asked without looking at her face, and she answered almost instantly.

            「Come on, you already know the answer to that.」

            I noticed Sendai-san’s feet step closer into my view.

            When I finally looked up, she leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my lips.

            「Miyagi. Say that you’ll keep your promise.」

            Hearing the strain in her voice, I reached out and touched her lips.

            As I lightly traced them with my fingertips, she caught my wrist and pressed her lips against my palm.

            Sendai-san could’ve simply said, “Remember, you promised me this,” and gone through with it anyway, but she didn’t. She didn’t have to wait for my answer, and yet she still waited for me to consent. Like a well-trained dog, she waited for me to say something. And even then, I still couldn’t give her an answer.

            「Please, Miyagi.」

            The hand gripping my wrist finally loosened.

            As if urging me to answer, she kissed my lips again.

            Then my forehead.

            Then my cheek.

            Then my lips once more.

            Again and again.

            She kept kissing me.

            And between those kisses, she would softly whisper, “Miyagi,” in a gentle voice. But beneath that gentleness, I could hear the strain underneath it, and I knew she was forcing herself to hold back.

            「… Fine, as long as you don’t make things weird, I’ll keep my promise.」

            I said as I gently pushed Sendai-san, who had gotten much closer than she needed to be, away by the shoulders.

            「Do you want to take a shower first to get into the mood?」

            「No, that’ll just make things feel even weirder.」

            「I feel like showering before doing something like this is pretty normal, though.」

            「No, and that’s exactly what I mean by “making things weird.”」

            「Okay, then let’s just go straight to your room like we always do.」

            Sendai-san finally smiled like her usual self again, and I opened the door to my room.

            She followed me inside, setting her coat and bag down on the floor before sitting on my bed. I turned on the air conditioner, then hung my coat and scarf up in the closet.

            「Miyagi.」

            Sendai-san patted the bed beside her as if telling me to sit there.

            「Why do we have to do this in my room?」

            I sat down on the bed, deliberately leaving space between us.

            「So you’ll dream about me.」

            「What do you mean, dream about you?」

            「You’ve had them before, haven’t you? Dreams about us doing things like this. I want you to have even more dreams like that.」

            Sendai-san said as she closed the distance between us.

            Our shoulders brushed together, and she took my hand in hers.

            「I’ve never had dreams like that before.」

            「I still remember when you told me you had a dream about me doing “weird” things to you before. So I want you to keep dreaming about what I’m going to do to you today for days afterward, just like how I dream about you.」

            「What do you mean, “just like you do”?」

            Without answering my question, Sendai-san pushed me down onto the bed.

            My back sank into the soft mattress harder than I expected.

            She brought her lips to my ear and pressed a kiss against my earring.

            「Hey, Miyagi. I want you to remember everything I do to you on this bed. I want you to remember how I touch you, and how it makes you feel. I want you to remember all of it, and then dream about it.」

            She whispered the words directly into my ear.

            Her gentle voice made me painfully aware that we were in my room, and that the soft surface beneath my back was my bed. And at the same time, it made me keenly aware of what she was about to do to me.

            Sendai-san was trying to carve whatever was about to happen into my memory. She was trying to slip into my dreams for days afterward.

            「Why do you want me to dream about that?」

            I asked, as if trying to peel her voice away from where it clung inside my head.

            「Because I want you to think about me even when you’re asleep. I want to fill you up with thoughts of me. ― I want you to be conscious of me.」

            「What do you mean by “be conscious”―」

            Before I could finish my question, Sendai-san stole the rest of my words with her lips.

            She rolled up my sweater and slipped her hand beneath the hem of my blouse. The moment her palm pressed against my side, my body trembled involuntarily. Her hand slowly stroked along my skin, warmth seeping into me with every touch.

            I didn’t dislike being touched by Sendai-san.

            She handled me like something precious.

            It had felt the same the last time too.

            But the room was too bright right now, and it made me feel like I wasn’t in any state to let her slip her hands beneath my clothes.

            I grabbed the hand tracing my skin under my blouse and held onto it tightly. Sendai-san pulled her lips away from mine, but before I could say anything besides her name, she kissed me again.

            The tip of her tongue nudged against my closed lips, prying them apart, so I bit down on it until she finally pulled away.

            「Wait, Sendai-san.」

            I said sharply, and Sendai-san got up from the bed. She walked over to the table, grabbed the remote, then came back.

            「This is what you wanted, right?」

            Sendai-san asked as she turned off the lights. As I sat up, I heard her set the remote down nearby.

            「Well, yeah, but…」

            「Was there something else you wanted?」

            「… No, I don’t think so.」

            「Alright then, lie down, Miyagi.」

            「Why are you in such a rush?」

            「Because it feels like you might run away at any second… And I’m kind of nervous too.」

            She spoke quietly, and right after, the bed creaked as she moved back beside me.

            In the darkness, I felt her warmth draw near again. Her hand gently brushed against my cheek. When I still didn’t lie down, her hand slid to my shoulder, slowly tracing down my arm before catching on the hem of my sweater. Then, little by little, she began pulling it up.

            「I never said you could take it off.」

            I said as I forcibly pulled my sweater—and the blouse that had been rolled up with it—back down.

            「I want you to take these off today.」

            「No.」

            「Then at least take off your sweater.」

            「I don’t want to.」

            「Well, if you want to take them both off instead, I wouldn’t mind that, you know.」

            Sendai-san said as she started lifting the hem of my sweater, pulling my blouse up with it.

            「… Fine, if it’s just the sweater…」

            Reluctantly, I took my sweater off.

            Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Sendai-san reached for the buttons of my blouse, but I stopped her.

            「I can’t touch you there if I don’t undo your blouse.」

            「Then don’t touch me there.」

            「I’ve already touched you there before, so isn’t it fine if I do it again?」

            「Even if you have before, I don’t want you to do it now.」

            「Come on, you can’t say that after touching me everywhere last time. Anyway, for now, just lie down.」

            「… Let go of my blouse first.」

            I pushed Sendai-san away, and the hands that had been fumbling with the buttons of my blouse slowly pulled back.

            「Miyagi.」

            She called my name softly.

            As though it were the price for refusing to let her undo my blouse, I had no choice but to lie down.

            The moment my back touched the bed, Sendai-san climbed on top of me. When I instinctively tried to push her away, she spoke in a quiet voice.

            「Do you remember what you did to me last time? I want to do the same to you, so just stay still and let me make you feel good.」

            Her words brought back memories of what I’d done to her before—the very thing that had led to this situation now—and my thoughts drifted back to that afternoon.

            Remembering the soft warmth of Sendai-san’s body, I slowly let out a breath.

            「Does that mean you felt good last time?」

            「… Of course. It feels good when you touch me, Miyagi.」

            「Why would you actually answer that?」

            「Well, because you asked.」

            「Do you answer every question people ask you?」

            「If it’s something I can answer, then yeah.」

            I knew that the answer she’d given me, something she’d said without a moment’s hesitation, was the truth.

            Sendai-san answered questions most people wouldn’t. She said she only answered things she could, but it felt like there was almost nothing she wouldn’t answer.

            Seeing her like this made me feel like, if it was her, she would never lie to me.

            But at the same time, another word to describe her surfaced in my mind.

            「You pervert.」

            「If that’s what you think, then stop asking questions that make me sound like one.」

            「You could always just refuse to answer.」

            「If I did that, you’d just keep asking until I answered, wouldn’t you? That’s why I answer everything. I did feel really good last time, and I want you to feel just as good as I did back then, so let me undo your blouse.」

            Before I could say anything, Sendai-san’s fingers moved to the buttons of my blouse.

            She undid them one by one without hesitation, and in no time at all—before I could even remember how many buttons there were—the front of it was hanging open. As soon as her hand brushed my side, I grabbed her wrist.

            「Miyagi, let go.」

            Sendai-san said gently as she pressed her hand firmly against my body. I couldn’t really make out the expression on her face right now. In the darkness, thick like spilled ink, all I could see was the faint outline of her figure.

            I took a small breath in, then slowly exhaled.

            It wasn’t like I wanted to be touched or anything, but I couldn’t bring myself to completely reject Sendai-san after she’d spent almost the entire day holding herself back for my sake.

            That was why I was letting her do this.

            That was all.

            I gave the hand I’d been holding a firm squeeze before finally letting go.

            Freed from my grasp, Sendai-san’s hand moved over my stomach, slowly and gently tracing my skin. The touch felt ticklish enough to make me flinch, and her hand paused for a moment.

            When I grabbed onto her arm, her fingertips slid along my ribs before moving up to my chest, still covered beneath my bra, where she began stroking me softly.

            Her fingers traced along the straps of my bra, and my grip around her arm tightened. Even so, Sendai-san didn’t stop. Her hand continued moving as though she were feeling the shape of my bra through her fingertips before slipping beneath my back, making my body instinctively tense.

            「Lift your back a little.」

            Hearing her voice—slightly higher than usual—made me painfully aware of what she was about to do next.

            「Miyagi.」

            She called my name softly, and as if resigning myself to it, I lifted my back just slightly enough for the hooks of my bra to come undone.

            This wasn’t the first time she’d touched my chest.

            But that didn’t mean I could easily accept what was happening now.

            「Don’t.」

            I whispered quietly.

            「It’ll be fine.」

            She said, trying to reassure me, but far too casually.

            Then Sendai-san’s hand slowly slipped beneath my bra, gently cupping my breast.

            For a moment, my breath caught in my throat.

            「It’s so soft.」

            Sendai-san murmured quietly, almost like she was talking to herself.

            「You know, you don’t have to say that out loud. Keep those thoughts to yourself.」

            Letting go of the arm I’d been gripping, I shoved her shoulder firmly.

            「Sorry.」

            She apologized as her hand gently pressed down on my breast. I could feel her warmth clearly now, and that part of my body was probably reacting in a way Sendai-san could feel too, no matter how much I wished it wouldn’t.

            Sendai-san’s hand, which had been resting over my breast as though feeling out its shape, slowly began to move. Her fingertips traced along the curve of my chest, starting just beneath my collarbone and gradually moving inward. Her slow, deliberate touch sent a ticklish feeling through me, one that almost made me want to pull her closer.

            Then, her fingertips brushed over a spot I didn’t want her touching.

            That part of me was nothing like the softness Sendai-san had murmured about earlier, and heat rushed to my cheeks.

            But Sendai-san didn’t pull her hand away.

            Instead, she continued touching me slowly, gently caressing me. That spot was probably only growing firmer beneath her fingers, and even though I knew it was impossible, I found myself wishing it would somehow soften and blend in with everything around it.

            「Isn’t this enough already?」

            I asked with a quiet exhale.

            「Nope, not even close.」

            「Then at least stop touching me like that.」

            「Like what? Like this?」

            She asked as her fingertips traced over the pointed tip of my breast again, and I shoved her away.

            「I told you to stop that.」

            「Why?」

            「Because this…」

            “This isn’t what roommates do,” was what I wanted to say, but I swallowed the words before they could leave my mouth.

            There was no way I could admit something like that.

            Even when things like this happened, we were still roommates.

            That was why it shouldn’t matter.

            Right now, all I was doing was keeping a promise I’d made to Sendai-san. There wasn’t supposed to be any deeper meaning behind letting her touch my body like this. Her touch felt a little ticklish, and my body was growing warm, but it was fine for her to do things like this.

            I repeated those thoughts to myself over and over again in my head.

            「Miyagi?」

            「No, it’s nothing.」

            It almost sounded like my voice had come out a little higher than usual, but there was no way that was true.

            My voice sounded exactly the same as always.

            Meanwhile, Sendai-san’s hand continued caressing my breast. Her palm moved over it as though trying to memorize the feel of it, and little by little, my breathing started to grow uneven.

            「Miyagi, I want to kiss you right here.」

            Sendai-san whispered into my ear, her hand still caressing my breast.

            「Absolutely not.」

            「Then I’ll kiss you somewhere else instead.」

            Before I could stop her, her lips brushed against my cheek, then slid down to my neck.

            She kissed my skin again and again before lightly catching my ear between her teeth, making my shoulders twitch. Her tongue traced the shape of my ear while her hand continued moving over my chest.

            It felt so unfair.

            The softness of her lips made a breath escape me, and my body tensed as her hand continued gliding across my skin. My senses were all over the place, and I couldn’t even begin to process the warmth she kept leaving behind on my skin, leaving me completely confused. Overwhelmed by her warmth, I wanted nothing more than to escape from the bed.

            「Stop… it…」

            My voice came out hoarse and faint, so weak it barely even sounded like my own, but it wasn’t enough to stop her.

            Sendai-san’s fingertips brushed over the center of my chest.

            Every time her hand moved, my breathing grew more uneven, each breath shallower than the last.

            「Sen…dai-san…」

            I wanted to cover my ears so I wouldn’t have to hear my own voice, but instead, desperate to make her stop, I grabbed tightly onto Sendai-san’s shoulder. Even then, her hand kept moving, and I ended up pushing against her with all the strength I had.

            「I told you… to stop already…」

            I forced the words out more firmly than before. I didn’t know how long she’d been touching me for, but it felt like it’d gone on forever. Her palm slid from my chest down to my ribs, tracing along the bones before stroking my side.

            Her hand on me felt gentle, but it clung to me stubbornly, and the strength slowly left the hand I had on her shoulder. Right now, no matter where she touched me, it felt like sounds I didn’t want her to hear were about to slip out, and I bit down hard on my lip.

            「You’re so cute, Miyagi. It just makes me want to touch you even more.」

            The hand resting against my side slowly slid toward my waist.

            「Shut up…」

            「You’re adorable.」

            Sendai-san whispered right into my ear, her breath brushing against it.

            I tried not to pay attention to it, but all my awareness was drawn to my ear, and even the faintest sounds echoed with startling clarity.

            The sound of Sendai-san’s breathing.

            The sound of something warm and damp trailing along my ear.

            The faint sound of her teeth brushing together.

            Then, she gently bit my ear before whispering into it.

            「Can I kiss you here?」

            The hand that had been slowly wandering across my skin brushed beneath my ribs as Sendai-san shifted her body closer.

            「N-No…」

            I answered weakly, but she gave no reply.

            Still, she must’ve heard me, because instead of kissing that spot, she pressed her lips to my cheek instead. Meanwhile, the hand beneath my ribs slid lower until it reached my jeans. Her fingers stroked my thigh over the denim, traced along my hipbone, and finally came to rest on the button of my jeans.

            The moment I realized what she was about to do, I instinctively twisted away.

            I knew what it meant to keep this promise.

            There was no way it would end with her only touching my chest. There was more after that.

            It meant repeating something we’d done before. Her fingers would undo the button of my jeans next, then slowly pull down the zipper.

            「Sendai-san… don’t…」

            I said as I grabbed the hand reaching toward me.

            I knew exactly what she was trying to do next, but I didn’t want her touching me.

            My body was already in a much worse state than the last time she’d touched me, and if she were to go any further, I felt like it would only get worse. It scared me how close I was to losing myself, and more than anything, I didn’t want to do something that would make Sendai-san realize what was happening to me. If she noticed, it would feel like admitting I’d been waiting for this all along.

            「Shiori.」

            Her soft voice echoed in my ears, and the hand I had gripping hers loosened slightly.

            「I don’t like it… when you call me that.」

            「Shiori.」

            「Shut up.」

            「I’ll stop calling you that if you let go of my hand.」

            「That’s not fair.」

            「Shiori.」

            Her voice was one of my favorite things about her, and I liked hearing it.

            But I didn’t want to hear that voice saying my name.

            It made my name feel like something special, so special that I felt like I might not be able to push her away anymore. The sense of reason I’d kept locked away inside a sturdy box so it wouldn’t escape felt like it was being dragged out into the open and melting away.

            「Let me touch you even more, Shiori.」

            As though drawn in by her gentle voice, I loosened my grip and let go of her hand.

            Sendai-san undid the button of my jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper. Her hand slipped inside, pulling my underwear away from my skin, and tension ran through my spine. It wasn’t a place meant for someone else to touch, and yet Sendai-san touched me slowly, almost as if she wanted to engrave the feeling into her memory.

            Even though this wasn’t the first time we’d done something like this, my cheeks felt even hotter than they had the last time.

            I couldn’t breathe properly.

            I thought back to when I’d touched Sendai-san.

            I remembered how wet my fingers had become and the glistening moisture I’d seen beneath the light.

            Right now, those same things were probably staining Sendai-san’s fingers too—maybe even more than when I had touched her.

            Part of me wanted to escape from her hands.

            But I couldn’t break free from the slow, deliberate movements of her fingers.

            It felt sticky and uncomfortable, and yet it still felt good.

            My body started wanting more than this.

            My breathing gradually fell apart beneath the touch of her fingers stroking me until it became difficult to breathe at all. It felt suffocating, and I weakly pushed at Sendai-san’s shoulder, but I couldn’t put any strength into it. In the end, all I could do was lightly tap against her shoulder and whisper, “Stop it.”

            「Stay still, Shiori.」

            「It’s… Miya…gi…」

            I didn’t want any more sounds to spill from my mouth, but I still needed to correct the way she was addressing me.

            「… Miyagi.」

            The moment she went back to calling me by my usual name, I let out a long, slow breath.

            But my breathing still wouldn’t settle.

            It stayed uneven, and every breath felt difficult.

            The fingers inside my underwear pressed more firmly against me.

            The sensation where she touched me sharpened, pulling all of my awareness there.

            In the darkness, I looked at Sendai-san.

            My eyes, slowly growing used to the dark, could faintly make out the outline of her face.

            But I couldn’t tell if her eyes were seeing me at all.

            Part of me wanted to keep her here so that her eyes would never look at anything but me.

            I wanted to lock her away like something precious, shut her inside a treasure chest so she could never leave. Because if I didn’t, someday she might slip away from me and start looking at something else instead of me.

            That was why another part of me wanted to let her go first before she could leave on her own.

            I shoved hard against Sendai-san.

            Even when our bodies separated slightly, her fingertips never left me.

            They clung to me, moving smoothly against me as if interrupting my thoughts.

            I twisted my body, trying to escape the sensations she kept giving me, but Sendai-san wouldn’t move away.

            It’s no use.

            I have to push Sendai-san even farther away.

            I didn’t want her to leave, but maybe it would hurt less if I were the one to push her away first.

            — Would it really, though?

            Sendai-san’s fingers kept moving, as though trying to melt apart the heavy, sluggish thoughts clogging my head until I could no longer think clearly.

            「Miyagi, put your arms around me.」

            Sendai-san whispered right beside my ear.

            The ticklish sensation made me let out a quiet breath before I asked,

            「… Why?」

            「Because for some reason, you feel so far away. I want to be closer to you. Let me be by your side.」

            「I can’t…」

            「Then at least hold onto my clothes.」

            Just like she told me to, I reached toward her side and grabbed tightly onto her clothes. Sendai-san moved closer, and I could feel her warmth even through the fabric between us.

            Her clothes felt like they were getting in the way.

            I felt like I should’ve just taken them off her instead.

            Feeling her body heat like this felt good.

            If I asked, she probably would’ve taken them off for me too.

            I loosened my grip on the clothes I’d been clutching and slipped my hand beneath the hem of her shirt.

            The moment my fingers brushed against her side, Sendai-san’s body gave a small shiver.

            She was warm.

            Her skin felt so hot beneath my palm that I pressed my hand against her more firmly. Her warmth seeped into me, making the heat deep inside my own body grow even stronger.

            「Call me “Hazuki.”」

            Sendai-san whispered.

            I shook my head in response, and the fingertips against me moved as though urging me on. Their movements grew faster and firmer, rubbing against me until the breaths spilling from my lips turned hot. The tips of Sendai-san’s fingers and the depths of my body both grew hotter than before, and my breathing fell apart. Our body heat mixed together and overflowed from me.

            A sticky heat stained Sendai-san’s fingers and dirtied me too. I couldn’t even find the breath to say anything anymore, and all I could do was bite down on my lip.

            Even though just moments earlier I’d wanted to push her far away, I found myself wanting to pull her closer now.

            「Call me by my name. Even if it’s just once.」

            Even though I didn’t want to speak, Sendai-san kept trying to draw words out of me.

            「Miyagi.」

            Sendai-san called my name softly.

            Her voice felt so good to hear that I wanted to hear even more of it.

            「Miyagi.」

            She called my name once more, and I finally parted my lips.

            「… Ha…zuki.」

            My breath mixed into my voice, turning it into a faint, husky whisper.

            I didn’t want anyone hearing my voice like this.

            And yet, at the same time, I’d wanted to say her name.

            「Miyagi.」

            She whispered into my ear.

            Her slightly breathless voice ran through my body, reaching somewhere deep inside me, as though trying to awaken a version of myself I didn’t even know existed.

            「Call me “Hazuki” again.」

            Sendai-san’s voice had become uneven too, her shaky breaths tangled between her words.

            Her warm breath brushed against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

            「Miyagi.」

            Her voice was so close.

            I wanted to hear more of it.

            I wanted to get even closer to it.

            Sendai-san was close enough for me to reach, and even though I was already touching her skin and she was touching me too, it still didn’t feel close enough.

            Even when she was close enough to make it hard to breathe, the thought of her disappearing someday still terrified me.

            I wanted us to remain tangled together like this, melting into each other until we mixed together so completely we could never come apart again.

            「I want to know more about you, Miyagi. Not just this part of you — all of you.」

            Sendai-san spoke softly.

            「… Huh?」

            「I want to touch the parts of you nobody else gets to touch.」

            The fingers that had been moving smoothly against me slipped lower, and my body went rigid.

            I understood what she was asking for immediately.

            It was similar to why she sometimes wanted kisses that went deeper than a simple peck.

            But this was something far more intimate than a kiss.

            Something that would let Sendai-san learn parts of me that even I didn’t understand myself.

            I knew there were things beyond what we were doing now, but I’d never imagined she would want something like that from me.

            I didn’t know how to answer her, so I stayed silent.

            Even the fingers that had been overwhelming me with unbearable pleasure just moments ago had gone still.

            They remained there quietly, as though waiting for permission to slip further inside me.

            If I gave Sendai-san what she wanted…

            The relationship we had now might change completely. Or perhaps nothing would change at all.

            I couldn’t say for sure.

            But I had a feeling that I wouldn’t stay the same after this.

            「… Actually, just forget I said that.」

            Sendai-san murmured, and all the tension drained out of my body at once.

            The fingers that had gone still slowly began moving again, returning to where they’d been touching me before.

            She pressed against me more firmly than earlier, stroking and caressing me as though trying to gloss over the words she’d just said.

            My senses sharpened as if they were being led around by her fingers, and my breathing gradually fell apart even more.

            She was only touching a small part of me, and yet somehow, despite us being separate people, it felt like Sendai-san was overlapping with me so completely that she was melting into me.

            The heat spilling from my body only kept growing stronger.

            Sticky and heavy, it clung to Sendai-san as though trying to wrap itself around her and keep her from ever leaving.

            Her fingers continued touching me, sometimes firm, sometimes gentle, and my breathing gradually turned shallow and uneven. I knew exactly what state my body was in, and because of that, part of me wanted to push Sendai-san away.

            But at the same time, I wanted her even closer.

            The sound of my heartbeat echoed loudly in my ears.

            Its relentless rhythm slowly chipped away at my sense of reason until it finally crumbled apart.

            Sendai-san’s hands were unraveling me.

            Breathing became painful, my thoughts melted together, and my mind stopped working entirely.

            And yet, my senses only grew sharper, making me painfully aware of every movement of her fingers. The boundary between me and Sendai-san gradually blurred, and my emotions swelled beneath the overwhelming flood of sensation.

            The heat, the breathlessness—all of it melted together into a single feeling.

            Sendai-san’s fingers kept drawing that feeling out of me.

            Everything felt so good.

            Her warmth mixing with mine, the heat spilling from my body, the fingers that never stopped moving.

            The feeling of pure pleasure swallowed up everything inside me. It was the same as last time, and yet far more intense. Everything about the way Sendai-san melted me apart felt unbearably good, and it only made me want more.

            I couldn’t think about anything complicated anymore. I only wanted to say her name.

            But I didn’t want my voice to come out.

            I didn’t even want her hearing the sound of my breathing.

            And yet, I still wanted to hear her voice.

            「Miyagi.」

            She called my name in a strained voice, and I tried to look for the blue stones that were in her ears.

            I reached up and brushed my hand against Sendai-san’s face.

            But in the darkness, I couldn’t find the blue earrings I’d given her.

            I couldn’t find the mark that proved Sendai-san belonged to me.

            An uneasy feeling spread through me. Before I realized it, terrified she might disappear somewhere beyond my reach, I pulled her closer. Slipping my hand beneath her clothes and around her back, I dug my nails into her skin.

            She was mine, and I didn’t want anyone else taking her away from me.

            I wanted to call her “Hazuki,” but I still couldn’t bring myself to use my voice, so instead I bit down gently against her neck.

            「You can touch me more roughly if you want. You know, I really like it when you touch me, Miyagi.」

            Hearing her say that, I dug my nails deeper into her skin.

            I bit down harder against the nape of her neck, almost as if trying to tear away the flesh.

            「Miyagi.」

            Sendai-san kept calling my name over and over.

            My breathing fell apart as I drowned in the sound of her voice.

            Her fingers stroked me harder, driving me further and further toward the edge.

            It felt like she was pulling me along, making me climb an invisible staircase I couldn’t even see.

            Breathing became even harder, and my body tensed more and more.

            Something deep inside me felt like it was burning hot enough to melt me apart.

            I kept climbing those invisible steps until suddenly the ground vanished beneath me. For a brief moment, it felt like my body had gone completely weightless, and I dug my nails into Sendai-san’s back hard enough that it felt like I might break skin.

            And then—

            All the strength suddenly drained from my body, and I pulled my mouth away from her neck.

            My hands slipped from her back as I tried to steady my breathing.

            「Are you okay?」

            I heard her ask gently, but answering felt like too much effort. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open properly, and while I lay there, soft kisses rained down on me.

            She kissed my lips, my cheek, and then the back of my neck.

            After being showered in kisses, I bit down on Sendai-san’s lips in protest.

            「You can take your hand away now.」

            Sendai-san’s hand was still touching me, and it made me feel restless.

            「But I want to keep touching you.」

            「No, I’m done for today.」

            「When you say you’re “done for today,” does that mean there’ll be a next time?」

            「That’s not what I meant.」

            「But I want there to be a next time.」

            Instead of pulling her hand away, she pressed a kiss against my earring instead.

            「Miyagi.」

            Sendai-san called softly, her voice sounding as though she were trying to lure me in.

            「Shut up.」

            My arm felt heavy as I lifted it and pushed against Sendai-san’s shoulder.

            But she wouldn’t move.

            Her body heat kept seeping into me, making it feel like I was going to start wanting her again, so I pushed at her once more.

            「I want to touch you more, Miyagi. And I want you to touch me too.」

            「That’s not what roommates do, though.」

            「But we are roommates, and we still do things like this, so let me get away with just a little more, Miyagi.」

            「Shut up, Sendai-san.」

            I didn’t want to hear her trying to tempt me any further.

            Right now, I couldn’t think about what was going to come after this, and I didn’t want to.

            Talking to Sendai-san like this made it feel like nothing else mattered, and it made me want to promise myself to her all over again.

            「At least let me kiss you one last time.」

            「Take your hand away first.」

            When I pushed against Sendai-san’s stomach, the hand clinging to my body finally pulled away. I forcibly sat up, dragging my body upright before it could melt completely into the bed, and quickly straightened out my clothes.

            After switching on the nightlight, I pulled a tissue from the tissue box with a crocodile cover and sat down beside Sendai-san, wiping the sticky residue from her fingers.

            As I wiped her fingers clean one by one, Sendai-san called my name.

            「Miyagi.」

            She murmured softly before pressing her lips against my neck. Then, without warning, she sucked hard enough at my skin to make it sting.

            「That’s definitely going to leave a mark, you know.」

            I said as I shot Sendai-san a glare.

            「You said you were planning to stay home and study during winter break, didn’t you?」

            「… Yeah, I did.」

            「Then it’ll be fine. And even if you do go outside, your scarf should cover it up perfectly anyway.」

            Sendai-san said before pressing another kiss against the mark she’d just left behind.

---

If you wish to continue supporting me just for the hell of it, feel free to throw a few dollars my way by clicking here (this takes you to my Ko-Fi).

I will also continue to be open to commissions (feel free to DM me on Ko-Fi if you have any questions).

Chapter debt: 94

---

< Previous Part | Next Part >