[Part 59] The Things That Miyagi Does Despite Us Not Being Friends (I)

          I spent yesterday pretending to be Miyagi’s friend, then went over to her house and kissed her.

          The five-thousand-yen bill that she gave me was now resting in my piggy bank. Apparently, the value of a kiss was worth five-thousand yen – which, in my opinion, was way too much.

          I didn’t even want her money.

          I tried turning it down after the kiss, but Miyagi wouldn’t back down. The five-thousand-yen bill that was forced upon me made my piggy bank feel a little heavier than before. As a result, I found myself unable to sleep well before visiting Miyagi’s place again.

          I could feel the sleep deprivation affecting me, causing me to struggle to stay focused.

          While I wasn’t exhausted enough to fall asleep instantly, my eyelids felt heavy as I lay on Miyagi’s bed. Closing my eyes, I became aware of Miyagi’s scent – something I rarely noticed – which was keeping me awake.

          This is the worst.

          There were a lot of reasons for my lack of sleep.

          I wasn’t going to bother listing all of them out, as it wouldn’t make me any less sleepy, but in short, it was all Miyagi’s fault. Even as I took a break from studying, I couldn’t nap because of her.

          And because she wasn’t in the room at the moment, I didn’t even have anyone to complain to, so all I could do was toss and turn on the bed. Miyagi was probably in the kitchen pouring drinks for both of us right now.

          After letting Miyagi know I wasn’t into carbonated drinks, she began offering me barley tea as if it were the only alternative in her mind. Not once did she check if there was another beverage I preferred or ask about my favorite drink.

          We’ve known each other for over a year now, so it would’ve been nice if she showed a bit more interest in me. Then again, I hadn’t really asked Miyagi about her preferences either, so maybe I was in the same boat.

          Shutting my eyes, I could hear the sound of footsteps approaching down the hallway.

          As soon as the door opened, Miyagi’s exasperated voice echoed in my ears.

          「Don’t fall asleep, Sendai-san.」

          「I’m not falling asleep.」

          I answered, still laying on her bed. Then, I heard a clink, which was probably her placing the cups on the table.

          「Your eyes aren’t even open.」

          「I’m taking a break right now, so I’m just resting them.」

          I said as I turned my back to her to the direction of her voice.

          「Get up, Sendai-san.」

          The voice came from closer than I expected, followed by a poke on my cheek.

          When I opened my eyes to look, I saw Miyagi sitting by the bed.

          For some reason, Miyagi – who keeps insisting that we can never be friends – always touches me so casually. She was like this yesterday as well.

          She was always so grumpy, yet she would always do whatever she pleased.

          Miyagi seemed displeased with me yesterday, to the point where she was prepared to leave me behind and go home alone despite my efforts to avoid offending her by behaving as if we were friends. Even now, I still don’t understand where I went wrong.

          Miyagi had shut down the idea of us being friends before, but this time, she was pretty clear that it was never going to happen, and she even threw in how disgusted she was by me.

          To be frank, I wasn’t very amused by all this.

          Plus, it was infuriating how she didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Though admittedly, it was true that the word “friend” didn’t really apply to us either.

          It just felt like no matter where I looked, there was always something to complain about.

          Whether it was the atmosphere or the distance between us – everything seemed off.

          The term “friend” felt simultaneously like the closest and farthest label we could apply to ourselves – it just didn’t seem to suit us. It was like trying to force a puzzle piece into a place where it didn’t fit.

          「We haven’t finished our problem sets yet.」

          Miyagi spoke quietly as she slid her hand from my cheek down to my neck.

          Before I could even slip a complaint in about how ticklish it felt, her hand stopped right at my collarbone.

          「Just keep going without me.」

          「But there are some parts that I don’t understand.」

          Despite being the one to bring up the unfinished problem sets herself, Miyagi made no attempt to get back to work. Instead, she remained by my side.

          Had Miyagi and I not met at the bookstore that day, we probably would’ve graduated from high school without having spoken to each other once. We weren’t the type to become friends in the first place. Still, given our situation now, I felt like it would’ve been for the best if we at least managed to settle on being friends. However, it seemed incredibly unlikely for us to reach that point now.

          I placed my hand on top of Miyagi’s, which was still resting on my collarbone.

          「What?」

          Miyagi asked in a low voice as she tried to pull her hand away. However, I grabbed hold of it before she could do so.

          「Is your heart pounding right now?」

          「… Right now?」

          「Yeah.」

          「… No, not right now, but…」

          「But what?」

          「Well, what about you, Sendai-san? Is yours pounding?」

          「I don’t think so.」

          I was conscious of her presence, but my heart wasn’t racing. On that note, while it wasn’t like I wanted to hold hands with Miyagi every time we walked down the streets or anything, being by her side made me feel right at home.

          I let go of her hand and traced her lips with my fingers.

          「Were you thinking of kissing me again today?」

          I asked quietly, and in response, she gently replied with,

          「… Is it not allowed to cross my mind?」

          「Hm, who knows?」

          Life would be so much simpler if everything in the world could be neatly sorted into either “right” or “wrong.” Sadly, many aspects, especially those involving Miyagi and me, didn’t fit into such clear categories.

          The things that didn’t fit either category resembled a blend of various colors, impossible to separate. The idea of forcing a label on these ambiguous and unstable hues was daunting, as if they might crumble and vanish the moment a label was applied. That’s why certain things were just better off being left uncategorized.

          Plus, even if I told her it was wrong, it wasn’t like she would listen to me anyway.

          「Miyagi, tell me what you need help with. I’ll teach you whatever you don’t know.」

          I said as I sat up and looked over at the table.

          Once I help her with the parts she’s struggling with, she’ll be all set for the new semester, and it’ll wrap up today’s session.

          I thought to myself as I tried to get out of her bed, but Miyagi got up before me to grab something from her desk.

          「Here.」

          Miyagi said curtly as she tried to hand me a five-thousand-yen bill.

          「I don’t need it.」

          「Just take it.」

          「I bet you think you can do anything you want as long as you pay up, don’t you?」

          「Well, I don’t think I’m wrong.」

          Miyagi’s words were one of the things that couldn’t be classified as either “right” or “wrong.”

          A five-thousand-yen bill was the link between us, but during summer break, it felt unnecessary. She had already covered the tuition fee, so anything beyond that seemed excessive.

          「Look, if there’s something you want to order me to do, then just do it. I haven’t really been teaching you much lately, so consider it part of the tuition fee.」

          I don’t mean to brag, but the frequency of Miyagi saying, “I don’t get this part,” has decreased compared to before summer break. Her grades should see an improvement in the new semester.

          「No, those are two completely separate matters. Just take it.」

          Miyagi said as if it were the most natural thing in the world as she placed the bill on my lap.

          This bill held a different meaning from all the other bills she gave me before summer break.

          Judging by where the conversation was heading, I could only assume she was paying me because she wanted something like yesterday to happen again.

          She was probably going to order me to kiss her, and if that was all she wanted, then I didn’t need her money. I’d feel more comfortable if it was included in the tutoring fee instead. Paying me five-thousand-yen just seemed like an unnecessary effort to turn a trivial matter into something more significant than it should be.

          「No, I said I don’t need it.」

          I said firmly. Miyagi’s eyes wavered.

          Noticing the anxiety in her eyes, I heaved a sigh.

          She was probably feeling this way because she didn’t want to be turned down after going out of her way to do this.

          I took the five-thousand-yen bill from my lap and folded it before leaving it on the bed.

          「Okay fine, I’ll take it, so just give me an order.」

          I spoke in a flat tone, but Miyagi looked relieved nonetheless.

          Either way, it wasn’t like Miyagi was going to order me to do something outrageous.

          Despite always acting so high and mighty whenever she gave me orders, it seemed she also had a timid side to her.

          「Well, in that case…」

          Miyagi said as she stared at me. Then, after pausing for a while, she followed up with, “Don’t move,” – an order I’d become all too familiar with by now.


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