「Kurumi. …Here.」

     A few days had passed, and before I knew it, it was Christmas.

     As I was getting ready to head out, Mizuki handed me something. I reflexively took it and saw that it was something wrapped in red paper.

     「Is this a birthday present?」

     「Well, yeah. I haven’t been able to give you anything recently. I picked this out with a friend, so it should be decent enough.」

     「Thank you. That makes me happy.」

     「Mm. …Open it?」

     Mizuki had gone through a growth spurt this past year and was now taller than me. Her mannerisms hadn’t changed, though. She still stared at me to hide her embarrassment.

     I thought she didn’t care about me anymore.

     Maybe that wasn’t the case. I’d be happy if that were so.

     I gently took apart the wrapping paper.

     「Woah, a scarf.」

     「…Yeah. I figured you should bring around something a little brighter colored.」

     「You’re right. Thank you, Mizuki.」

     「Hang on.」

     She took the scarf from me.

     I tilted my head.

     「I’m already here, so I might as well tie it up for you. I’m better at that than you are.」

     「…Hehe. Yeah, please do.」

     The present she had given me was a white scarf. I hadn’t had the luxury to care too much about fashion up until now, and she herself had never really brought up the topic of clothes before.

     Mizuki had really grown. Not just in terms of her height. She had gotten more mature.

     Maybe her fashion sense was much better than mine. That made me feel a little lonely, but more than anything, I was happy. The once-crybaby Mizuki had grown up into such a fine young woman. What sort of adult would she become, I wondered?

     「…Hey. Who are you hanging out with today?」

     She said in a low voice.

     「Hm? Just my friends.」

     「Do you mean that person from before?」

     「From before… You mean Sorahashi-san? No, I’m with other friends today.」

     I wondered how long it had been since someone had put my scarf on for me. I used to do it for Mizuki all the time, but this was the first time it was happening the other way around. I wasn’t sure if it was something my parents did for me when I was little.

     For a moment, I thought about Sorahashi-san. I wondered how she felt when I put that collar on her.

     As I thought about her, I suddenly wasn’t sure what sort of face to make. Was I properly able to wear the face of a human, of a proper older sister, in front of Mizuki? It had become difficult for me to remember how I used to go about my daily life.

     Or maybe I just didn’t want to remember.

     At least when I was in front of Mizuki, though, I still had to do my best.

     「…Are you good friends with that Sorahashi-san?」

     「Yeah. We get along well enough.」

     「Enough to eat together?」

     Mizuki asked in a quiet voice. I felt like I was being interrogated.

     Maybe she didn’t like having strangers in her house.

     「I figured. …It’s done.」

     「Thank you, Mizuki.」

     「…Yeah.」

     She looked away, as if she was unhappy with something.

     「Thank you for the Christmas present. …Get home safe.」

     I had left my Christmas present to her by her pillow last night. I didn’t need to be Santa anymore, but I still left it for her like I always used to. This year I went with something safe, a mechanical pencil. I hoped she liked it.

     「Yeah, see you later.」

     I was a little curious about the way she was acting, but it was almost time to leave for the train, so I went back to my room to fetch my coat.

     「…Huh?」

     The coat I usually wore had a refreshing scent to it, like lemon tea. I felt like I recognized that scent from somewhere recent, but I couldn’t recall where. Maybe it was just the smell of laundry detergent that had stuck onto it.

     With questions in my mind, I left the house.

     Today I would be hanging out with Mutsuki and Yume, and we’d planned on going to see the illuminations after. I never really had plans to go out like this on Christmas, so I was a little excited.

     I transferred trains several times and walked the final stretch to our meeting place.

     I had left early, so nobody had gotten here yet. As I was absentmindedly staring at my phone, I heard the sound of someone running. I looked up to see Yume jumping at me.

     「Good morning, Kurumi!」

     「G…good morning, Yume. You seem lively.」

     「Of course I am! I made it through the second term without a hitch, and today I have a date with you, Kurumi!」

     「I see.」

     「…Hey, wait. Why are you in your uniform today?」

     「Huh? …Because it’s sturdy?」

     「…」

     It’s not like I had a strong sense of school spirit. I just wore it because I didn’t have many clothes. Sorahashi-san had pointed that out to me too, so maybe it would be better if I owned some other clothes.

     It wasn’t like it was causing any problems for me, though. I thought it was fine.

     And besides, the uniform was pretty cute.

     「Let’s go check out some clothes first. I’ll pick out a fit that matches your style!」

     「Uh…」

     「I know it’s made pretty nice, but it’d be a waste to just always wear your uniform. That’s not to say I don’t love seeing you in it, though!」

     「Huh…」

     「What’s all this fuss about?」

     Mutsuki strolled towards us with a sleepy look on her face.

     「Mutsuki, look! Kurumi’s wearing her uniform!」

     「You’re right. Was it for supplementary classes?」

     「There’s no way she’d need those. She’s not you.」

     「I passed this time too, you know? And weren’t you just barely safe, too?」

     「I was busy learning more about the world…」

     It was the same thing that Mutsuki had said.

     The great thing about Yume was how she never came crying to me right before a test. I didn’t dislike being relied on — in fact, I really liked it — but it would worry me if she relied on me too much.

     Mutsuki, on the other hand, asked for my homework and copied my notes almost every day. I wondered how she’d fare if we were in different classes next year. I supposed that when I thought about things that way, I was the one that couldn’t let go of her.

     「Hey, more importantly, we’re talking about Kurumi right now!」

     「Oh dear, you’ve been led astray.」

     「Shut up. In any case, we’re gonna go look for some clothes for her!」

     「Hmm…」

     Mutsuki gazed at me.

     And then, as if she had realized something, she brought her face closer to my coat.

     「Hey, did you change up your perfume?」

     「I don’t usually have any on…」

     「Is that so? Lately, you’ve been smelling like the sea. …Fabric softener, maybe?」

     「Huh?」

     The smell of the ocean…

     Maybe it was because I was spending so much time with Sorahashi-san. Did her scent carry over onto me?

     Well, hmm. Was it possible for perfume scents to transfer over just through touch? And for that matter, I myself couldn’t really make out the scent of the coat either.

     「Hey, Yume. Take a whiff. It smells nice.」

     「…You’re right. It’s different from usual.」

     「…I wonder why. Maybe my mom changed the detergent?」

     My heart was racing. I didn’t think the two of them knew that Sorahashi-san and I carried the same scent. Sorahashi-san and Mutsuki weren’t involved with each other, so it was probably fine. If they found out, though, how would I explain it?

     Well, I supposed I could just say we were friends, but that was a bit misleading and I was afraid they’d just start grilling me.

     「Maybe so. Should we get going? I wanted to go look at some clothes too.」

     「Yeah. I’ll pick out some things that suit the both of you.」

     「Wait, me too?」

     「Might as well.」

     「Then I’ll pick some stuff out for you too.」

     「…I’m good. Our tastes don’t match up too well.」

     「Don’t be shy.」

     「I’m not. …Hey, Kurumi, let’s go!」

     「Ah, sure.」

     I began to walk alongside Yume.

     Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen Sorahashi-san that much after the end of the second term. Maybe our relationship could be something different from just pet and owner. While thinking about this, I wondered if we’d become so estranged to the point of not even being acquaintances. That worry crossed my mind for a moment.

     That made me a bit sad, but humans were creatures of habit.

     Whether it was Mizuki calling me “Kurumi”, putting dishes into the dishwasher, or ending the day without making dinner, I had gotten used to it within the year, and what remained was only a slight ache in my heart.

     How long did she intend to continue with this game of pretend?

     I let out a small sigh. I was out here with my friends. There was no need to worry about anything unrelated. I should be enjoying myself.

     Hanging out with the two of them was more fun than I’d imagined it would be. We browsed clothes together, just walked around town without anything particular in mind, and had dinner. The time flowed by so quietly, incomparable to when I was busy taking care of everything at home.

     It felt as if time had started to go by faster in the past year, but in reality, the only thing that had changed was my surroundings. I’d only just begun to be keenly aware of how small of a world I was living in.

     As the sun set, our breaths began to turn white.

     The two of them had been in high spirits all morning, without any care for the cold. As we walked to our next destination, it was so cold that I buried my face in my scarf. It smelled soft and refreshing. The same as the coat. I couldn’t help but tilt my head.

     It was a smell that I liked, but what exactly was it?

     「It’s so pretty!」

     「Yeah, it is. Let’s get some photos.」

     Mutsuki was oddly interested in taking pictures. She usually wasn’t into that sort of thing.

     What was Sorahashi-san up to right now?

     She had said she was having a party with her friends, so she was probably at home.

     As I was lost in thought, I felt a familiar smell tickle my senses.

     It couldn’t possibly be. I looked around.

     Within the hustle and bustle, I heard a sound with a defined presence. It wasn’t just any sound. It was the sound of a voice that I knew well. One that was crystal clear, one that could be heard no matter how noisy it was.

     「They’re so bright.」

     「Well, that’s what illuminations are. Wait, Sera, you were the one that wanted to come and see them, but… don’t you seem kinda down?」

     「Even though we came all the way to see them in person, it’s too cold for me to enjoy them all too much.」

     「Hey. Told you so.」

     It was Sorahashi-san’s voice.

     She was looking at the illuminations with her friends. She didn’t seem to notice me and didn’t look my way.

     「Did you truly want to be just friends with me? Did you think you could? Even with that look on your face?」

     Words that she had said before echoed in my mind.

     If, just like I did with Mutsuki and Yume, we hung out like normal, had meals together, and went to see the illuminations like this… If I put Sorahashi-san in the positions they occupied, or if I was placed in the position of the person next to her, it was so obvious that it wouldn’t be right.

     What if it was something completely different, something more romantic?

     A relationship where we affectionately held hands, whispered sweet nothings to each other, and kissed once in a while?

     I involuntarily smiled. That didn’t feel right, either. It wouldn’t be pleasurable or fun at all.

     I tightly hugged my bag. Inside was my Christmas present to her. It was something that I had hesitated to give her for a long time, but now, I felt like I could do it without any hesitation.

     Friends, acquaintances, lovers, and all the rest…

     Those were all replaceable. Even if I disappeared tomorrow, I imagined it would fail to inconvenience Yume or Mutsuki. Other people would just fill up the void that I’d left behind. Just like how when my parents started to take over the duties that used to be mine, the only one that had been bothered was me.

     I thought that there were very few people or relationships that couldn’t be replaced.

     I had thought that the position of older sister was more special than anyone else’s position, but Mizuki probably didn’t think that. I was so easily replaceable, and the moment I had lost my role, I began to feel lost and had been wandering ever since.

     But…

     That was the only connection I had with her. Of that, I was sure.

     Suddenly, Sorahashi-san turned around. She looked straight at me and smiled, as if she had noticed my presence from the start.

     Ah, so that was it.

     This was why she had asked before what my plans were for Christmas. It was so that we could meet like this.

     As if it could sense the trembling within my heart, my phone began to vibrate.

     『See you later.』

     It was a short message. When I looked up, she had already turned back to her friend.

     She was anything but normal. Whenever I thought I had caught hold of her, she would slip through my fingers, and she never let go of me. But, I had no intentions of running away anymore.

     Once I had sunk into the deep depths of the ocean where even sunlight couldn’t reach, I could never go back to the surface.

     Surely, it was down in those depths that I could find where I belonged — where I could find my role to play.

     「…Yeah. See you later, Sera.」

     I started walking away, leaving her behind as she happily chatted with her friends.

     I spent some time looking at the illuminations with Mutsuki and Yume.

     By the time we had parted ways, the darkness of night had begun to grow deep. I hurried to catch the train to her house. There was a jolly atmosphere within both the station and inside the train itself.

     People were smiling and talking amongst themselves, holding bags full of food that they were probably going to eat at home. Parents fondly gazed at their merry children. Friends and couples huddled together as they chatted.

     I hadn’t known, but the city was full of all sorts of people.

     Today was both Christmas and my birthday, but I’d never thought of it as something special. Apparently, though, Christmas was a special day for all of society.

     For some reason, I smiled.

     Without knowing why I did, I walked up to her house. The door slid open right as I rang the doorbell. Naturally, the one who appeared before me was Sorahashi-san, dressed just like before.

     「Welcome home.」

     「I’m back.」

     I took off my shoes like usual and went in.

     It smelled different today. Maybe it was the lingering scent of the Christmas party, a scent that was proof of her humanity.

     How ridiculous.

     We were both beasts, after all.

     「Wait just a moment. I’ll clean up the living ro—」

     「I don’t care about any of that.」

     I set my bag down and grabbed her by the collar.^[1]

     Pushing my weight onto her, she toppled over with surprising ease. I climbed on top of her and smiled.

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^[1] The collar of her clothes. Not the dog collar.

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