「This feels like a fitting punishment for all the weird things you’ve done.」

         I said as I placed a cold towel over Sendai-san’s forehead. She looked unusually listless today.

         「You’re so mean, Miyagi.」

         「Did you already take your medicine?」

         「Yeah.」

         Her raspy voice came from the bed where she lay.

         A few days had passed since that rainy night we spent together, and now her temperature was over 38°C.

         She had looked unwell since this morning. She wasn’t coughing, but she’d said her throat hurt, and her complexion was pale. Despite that, she insisted she was fine and went to class anyway. When I came home from university, I found her slumped over in her room. Now she was lying in bed, clearly exhausted. She didn’t quite look like a zombie, but she was far from healthy.

         I wasn’t a doctor, so I couldn’t say what she had for certain, but it was probably just a cold.

         「Was it really so hot yesterday that you had to turn on the air conditioner?」

         I asked, watching her lie still with her eyes closed.

         「Yeah, I felt like I needed it.」

         「Well, you should’ve at least turned it off before going to bed.」

         「I’ll reflect on my actions.」

         Her weak voice carried no weight. She had gone to bed last night without turning the air conditioner off. I knew she was sensitive to the heat, but it hadn’t been that hot. Even with July approaching, the nights weren’t unbearable.

         「I feel like I should say this in advance, but I can’t make porridge or anything like that for you.」

         She probably already knew I wasn’t much help in situations like this, but I felt the need to say it anyway. Ever since moving in together, I’d helped with cooking, but I was nowhere near the level of making food for a sick person. If she’d told me earlier that she felt this bad, I could’ve at least picked something up on the way home.

         「You don’t have to make me anything. It’d be a problem if you burned yourself. And even more so if you burned the pot, too… so yeah, don’t even try it.」

         「Hearing you say that is kind of irritating.」

         She wasn’t wrong. I probably would end up burning myself and the pot. Still, hearing it from her annoyed me.

         「I don’t have an appetite anyway, so you really don’t need to do anything for me.」

         「I can at least buy you something to eat, like yogurt or instant porridge, maybe?」

         I couldn’t cook, but I could at least buy her something. I also wanted to get cooling patches to replace the towel I’d put on her forehead. There wasn’t much I could do for her, but I couldn’t just leave her alone while she was sick. Plus, not eating would only be worse for her health.

         「I don’t need anything.」

         「Tell me what you want, and I’ll buy it for you.」

         「Seriously, I don’t need anything. Just stay with me for a little while.」

         She mumbled, slowly opening her eyes. Then, as if realizing what she had just said, she quickly followed up with,

         「Wait, pretend you didn’t hear that.」

         「Why?」

         「I don’t want you to catch my cold, so you should go back to your room.」

         Her voice sounded much clearer than before.

         Sendai-san had a point. The longer I was in the same room as her, the higher my chances of catching her cold were. But I’d ventilated her room by opening a window as soon as I came in, and I had nothing else to do even if I left right now. I didn’t really care about what to eat for dinner, since I was probably just going to eat frozen food or instant noodles anyway, and I’d be able to prepare it quickly and finish eating just as fast. I also didn’t really have much homework to do today either.

         「I’ve got plenty of free time today, so I’ll stay here a bit longer. I can go shopping later.」

         Rather than sitting in my own room worrying about her, it was better to stay by her side.

         「You should leave. I really don’t want you catching this.」

         「I don’t usually get sick easily, so I’ll stay until you fall asleep.」

         「… Wait, are you actually worried about me?」

         「Even I’d get a little worried seeing you like this.」

         「Somehow, it’s kind of gross seeing you be so nice, Miyagi.」

         She stared at me as she said something rude.

         「Come on. Hurry up and get some sleep already.」

         I patted the edge of her comforter, and she closed her eyes.

         「You can go back to your room once I’m asleep.」

         「Okay.」

         The room fell silent after that. I flipped the towel on her forehead to the cooler side.

         I’d visited her house once back in high school when she was sick, but she had been in better spirits then than she was now. Today, Sendai-san looked so unwell that I could tell she had a fever just by looking at her. Her breathing was uneven, though not as heavy as when she exercised.

         She looked so weak that she probably wouldn’t be able to resist anything no matter what I did.

         In this state, she couldn’t do anything strange to me, and I didn’t need her to swear on my earrings to promise that she wouldn’t.

         I sat with my back against the bed. I had said I’d stay since I had nothing better to do, but even so, there wasn’t much to do while she drifted in and out of sleep.

         A fashion magazine lay forgotten on the floor, so I picked it up and flipped through the flashy pages without really looking at them. One after another, the thin sheets slipped through my fingers.

         Mixed in with her steady breathing came a faint, strained sound that made me glance up. The towel had slipped from her forehead.

         I really should go out and buy her some cooling patches.

         「… Are you okay?」

         I asked softly, not intending to wake her, as I placed the towel back on her. I didn’t expect a response, but she mumbled something faint that I couldn’t make out.

         Maybe she was a light sleeper.

         I wondered—if I were to call her name, would she end up dreaming about me?

         「Sendai-san.」

         I whispered close to her ear.

         She groaned, though I couldn’t tell what she was trying to say.

         「Sendai-san.」

         「… Mm…」

         She still responded every time I called her name. It wasn’t exactly fair to bother someone who was sick, but the way she answered so dutifully only made me want to do it again. I knew I should feel bad, yet seeing Sendai-san so quiet and uncharacteristically subdued was kind of adorable.

         And…

         It was completely inappropriate, but the sounds slipping out of her mouth were almost indistinguishable from pleasure. Her breathing was ragged, too, which only made me think of it more.

         Maybe I was only thinking this way because of where we were.

         This was the kind of place where thoughts like that weren’t so strange, and I had wondered before what kind of sounds she might make. So, these indecent thoughts came to me quite easily. Even so, imagining things like that while she was sick felt wrong — and I hated myself a little for it.

         I wasn’t supposed to think this way. But ever since that Sunday, it was like someone had rewired something inside me and flipped a switch I didn’t even know existed. Sendai-san had always had a way of hijacking my thoughts, but now they spiraled toward her even more easily, whether I wanted them to or not.

         Still, that wasn’t something I should wake a sick person up just to complain about.

         「I’m going to go back to my room now.」

         I said, knowing she probably wouldn’t hear me anyway, and stood up.

         I was afraid that if I stayed any longer, I’d just end up having more inappropriate thoughts.

         I needed to go outside and clear my head.

         「… Where are you going?」

         Just as my hand touched the doorknob, a voice came from behind me.

         I turned around and saw Sendai-san staring at me.

         「I was just going to go buy a few things. I’ll be back soon.」

         She didn’t reply, even though she’d been mumbling responses to everything I’d said earlier.

         「Hey, say something.」

         「See you later.」

         Sendai-san spoke quietly before closing her eyes again.

         I walked over to her bed and sat down beside her.

         「You’re going to catch my cold if you stay here. You should go already.」

         「I said I’d only go back to my room once you fell asleep, didn’t I?」

         「Well, I was asleep a few minutes ago.」

         「But you’re awake now, aren’t you?」

         「Fine, but don’t blame me if you end up getting sick too.」

         She gave up arguing and shut her eyes again. I tugged gently at her bangs, damp with sweat, and she slapped my hand away in annoyance.

         「I’m not worried. You’ll take care of me if I get sick, won’t you?」

         I said, moving down to sit on the floor.

         “Yeah,” she murmured, starting to stroke my hair.

         I could have easily brushed her hand away, but she had a fever. I couldn’t bring myself to be mean to a sick person, so I let her do whatever she wanted.

         I’ll stay until she gets tired of stroking my hair, I thought to myself.

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