Another morning. I wake up to the ringing of my alarm. Another school day. Still half asleep, I head to the living room to make my breakfast and lunch. Dad’s already out for work. I eat breakfast. Today’s menu: toast. I particularly enjoy strawberry jam. Speaking of which, I see blueberry jam in the stores pretty often, but I’m not really a fan. I hadn’t tried any in a while though, so maybe I’d like it now. …The toast is sweet. Finally, I feel my brain beginning to wake up. After eating, I get ready for school. There we go. Perfect. And cool. I leave the house and lock up behind me. Right on schedule.

          As I began to head to school, I came across a familiar mother and child. They were part of a family that lived nearby. The mother was super nice, and her five-year-old daughter was as happy and healthy as could be. I didn’t see the father with them, probably because he was at work. He was an energetic man that was a regular at local events.

          “Hey, Mommy!”

          The child exclaimed.

          “What is it, dear?”

          “I didn’t drop anything with my chopsticks today at breakfast!”

          “You already told me that just earlier, didn’t you? But good job!”

          I saw them once in a while around this time of day. It was because the mother usually took her daughter to school around this time, if I recalled. As we passed each other, we stopped to exchange greetings.

          “Oh, Amanone-san! Good morning!”

          “Good morning.”

          “Woah! You’re that cool onee-san!”

          “Haha! Good morning to you too!”

          My reputation at school wasn’t quite as far-reaching beyond campus grounds, but I did still stand out – enough that people did know who I was around here. These sorts of exchanges were quite common.

          “Stay safe on your way to school, okay?”

          “I will.”

          “Byebyeee!”

          “Haha, yep, see ya.”

          I gave them a slight bow and then went on my way, their two voices growing ever-distant. …For some reason, I… I really wanted to see Meguru-chan.

          After school, we met up in the usual room, sitting beside each other on the sofa and enjoying some light conversation. We had become able to maintain a relaxed atmosphere together, perhaps because we had started to get used to being alone with each other here. …And I was even happier than usual because I had been particularly craving for this today. But… no, maybe that was exactly why…

          “Meguru-chan, have you joined a club yet?”

           …Why I had begun to feel bad that I was always hogging her time after school. She’d told me before that she didn’t have any clubs in mind right now, but I wouldn’t want her to stay out of club activities because she was prioritizing spending time with me.

          “Oh, no. I’m not really interested right now.”

          Her reply was the same as before. But I didn’t drop the subject.

          “Are you sure? If you want to be in one, you can just tell me. It’s not like the only time we can see each other is right after school.”

          “Well… actually, right when I started here, I thought about joining a club that I hadn’t been in before. I was just looking for something new to get super into, so I tried out all sorts of stuff, but…”

          She paused for a moment. Her eyes, which had been staring off into space, locked in on mine.

          “Right now, what I’m super into is you, Amanone-senpai.”

          “O-oh. I, uh… Being able to see you after school makes me happy too.”

          She was as direct with her affection as ever. I managed to stumble out a response, but her words made me both so happy and embarrassed that I had to avert my gaze. These were the times that I’d think to myself how cute she was, but recently, that wasn’t all – her straightforwardness had begun to make my heart race. I was confident that I’d be unshaken if another girl were to say these sorts of things to me.

          Was this proof that I loved her?

          “Oh! Maybe I could be part of the student council PR like you! That way, we could spend even more time together!”

          “Sure, you wanna?”

          “What?! Can I really?!”

          “It should be fine if it’s just you. I think they’d welcome having someone as popular as you on the team. …Yeah, and if you join, I could leave the room key with you. That could come in handy. It’d be good for your resume, too. If you’re serious about this, I can check with the rest of the officers and advisor later. You in?”

          “I’m in I’m in I’m so in! Yaayyy!”

          “Sounds good. But we seriously have nothing to do, you know? I think being a secretary would be more worth your time. Are you sure?”

          “I want to be with you!”

          “O-okay… then we’ll both be in charge of keeping this room tidy, alright?”

          “Haha! I wouldn’t have it any other way!”

           Mhm. I probably just said something real smooth. Obviously, tidying up together was just an excuse to spend more time with each other. Heh. It was probably a good thing that our shared sense of belonging was as strong as ever. …The fact that I suggested, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that we both manage this room meant that I no longer saw this room as one for me to be alone, but rather, a place for the two of us.

          …And realizing this just made my heart race again.

          “We should meet up before school ends too! Like during lunch!”

          Meguru suggested.

          “Yeah, definitely.”

          Just thinking about how I’d be able to spend more time with her made me so happy that I couldn’t hide my grin. But, ah… we had our separate school lives to take care of too, so we had to take things in controlled moderation.

          “…Th-then, next time, wanna have lunch together?”

          A-and this counts as controlled moderation!

          “Really?! Awesome!! Oh, Senpai, do you usually bring a bento?”

          “I make one if there’s leftovers from dinner. Otherwise, I just have bread or something.”

          “You make one…? Wait, can you cook?”

          “Yep.”

          “W-woah… That’s so impressive…”

          “Haha, I just think it’s pretty fun.”

          But it’s not like making bentos was a proper thing to be doing. I tried doing it once for Dad, but he had such a sorry look on his face that I dropped the idea immediately…

          …Wait, huh?

          This was a pretty normal conversation topic, but you know, thinking about it now, this was probably the first time I’d ever talked about cooking while at school. I may be a woman, but the days of men being barred from the kitchen were over. Cooking was now a cool and desirable skill to have, not anything odd. …Why hadn’t I ever brought it up before? I mean, even back when I told Meguru I didn’t have any relationship experience, she cheerfully took it in stride.

          …Was this what it meant to trust someone?

          I’d thought she was a bit weird when she confessed to me, and yeah, she definitely had some odd tendencies. But thinking about that amused me a little.

          “Meguru, do you usually bring a bento too?”

          “Yes! But my mom makes all the food… I don’t think I’ll ever be better than her at cooking…”

          She said this with a pitiful expression. But perhaps because she had her mother on her mind, I felt like something about her profile carried a certain pride as she gazed off into the distance.

          “Ahaha… sounds like she’s a great cook.”

          “Yep! She’s really… Huh?”

          “W-what’s wrong?”

          She turned to look at me, and seeing my face, suddenly cut off the conversation. For a while she just kept staring, as if looking for something. H-hello? Is something wrong?

          “Senpai!”

          She suddenly exclaimed.

          “Yes?!”

          “ Let’s play a game!”

          “…A game?”

          I was worried about what she was going to say, but it was just a normal invitation. But what on earth was that just before? It was weird, but not out of the ordinary for her.

          “Sure, what game?”

          It’s not like I didn’t want to, so I took her up on the offer. In fact, I was pretty curious about what she was going to suggest. Was it maybe a board game on one of the shelves in here?

          “Uh… Okay! So! It’s called ‘Bet Rock-Paper-Scissors!’”

          “…A bet?”

          I’d never heard of it. …She wasn’t suggesting that we gamble real money, right? As I tilted my head in confusion, she began to explain.

          “So it’s like normal rock-paper-scissors, but before we do anything, I’ll tell you what I’m going to play and bet something on the game. And then we actually play, and if you win, I’ll give you what I bet on. But if you lose, you have to do whatever I order you to do. Okay?”

          “Uh, okay.”

          I nodded in affirmation, but… what was the point of these rules? If she said what she was going to throw out, I’d win no matter what…

          “Okay, here I go! I’m throwing out scissors! And I’ll be betting my naked body!”

          “WHAT?”

          Seriously, WHAT? Was she saying if I won, she’d strip naked?

          “Rock, paper, scissors!”

          “H-hold up!”

          I got swept up in the commotion and hurriedly tossed out my move. In the end, she picked scissors, just as she said she would. And I, on the other hand, threw paper…

          “Yay! I won!”

          “W-wait! Hold up!”

          She was jumping for joy, waving around her hand-scissors as I raised my voice in protest.

          “There’s no way this counts, right?!”

          “What do you mean? All you had to do was play rock.”

          “Okay, well, I mean…  Uh… If I had won, then…”

          What was I even thinking?

          “That’s right. I was going to take off my uniform and underwear right here.”

          She declared without an ounce of shame. My face began to heat up. At the same time, I now understood what she meant to do with this game. It was a test of courage – for her, to offer up all she had; and for me, the willingness to accept it. But still…

          “That’s so unfair…”

          “Nope! I was really going to strip if I lost. That’s fun in its own way!”

          She said in a teasing, singsong tone.

          “Okay, hey! You shouldn’t do that in public!”

          “But it’s okay if it’s for my girlfriend!”

          F-fine, maybe she had a point, but… No, nononono, yeah, no, that was absolutely NOT okay! The image of her naked body flashed through my mind for a split second. If that image came to life, I wouldn’t be able to keep it together.

          “More importantly, Senpai! You lost, so… you know what comes next, right?”

          “Ugh…”

          R-right. I had to obey a command of hers.

          Since she bet something as insane as the sight of herself in the nude, she was probably going to ask something just as insane from me… And for each thing that my imagination wandered to, I felt my face continue to grow redder in a way different from before.

          “Okay, now. What I want…”

          Gulp.

          “Is a lap pillow!”

          “…Huh?”

          I had been waiting with bated breath, but this was completely out of left field. A lap pillow? Lap pillow… A lap pillow, huh… That wasn’t really… Actually, it was kinda disappointing…

          Wait, no, what do you mean, disappointing?! What exactly was I expecting from her?! Okay, just calm down and take a breather. …I see, mhm. I understand everything now. She just wanted to do something couple-like with me and was just too embarrassed to say it out loud, so she came up with this game as an excuse.

          The part about stripping naked was a shocker, but she really is such an adorable maiden. I’m not opposed to this at all. I’ll gladly offer her my lap. We’ll have a very lovey-dovey time, with me stroking her head and admiring her profile as she rests on my lap.

          “Understood. It’s an order, after all.”

          Taking sense of her pitiful charms, I gave her a bit of a lording response. …Honestly though, wasn’t it weird that she didn’t bat an eye at saying that she would strip naked, but was getting all embarrassed about putting her head on my lap?

          “Yay! Okay, go ahead, Senpai!”

          Having received my affirmation, her eyes lit up. She adjusted her sitting and tapped on her lap with both hands.

          ……Hm?

          Wait, doesn’t this mean that she wants me to be the one laying down?! Well, it’s not like she specified who was going to be giving the lap pillow, but… I just assumed it’d be me… Huh?! Was that the entire point of this game?!

          “Senpai? Orders are orders, right?”

          “Please don’t with that attitude…”

          But it was too late. Before I realized it, she had a devilish smile on her face.

          “Okay, fine, orders are orders. So, um… Please excuse me?”

          “Go right ahead!”

          This hadn’t turned out to be any sort of punishment game at all. It had actually ended up being something quite nice. In fact, as far as the giver and receiver of lap pillows goes, even the one taking the lead in a relationship would be the one laying down sometimes. It was actually more common for it to be that way. So there’s nothing strange about this, okay?

          With all these sorts of generalizations racing through my head, I gently leaned down onto her two perfectly aligned legs.

          Honestly, this is surprisingly getting my heart going. …Th-this really is allowed, right?

          Even with her skirt acting as a barrier, I could tell how slender her legs were. Are they going to be able to hold up my head’s weight?

          As I continued to think about this, my heart beat faster and faster, to the point that I could no longer ignore it. And so, I turned my body over to face away from her stomach.

          “Ah.”

          Her thighs were certainly slender, but as I rested my head on them I could feel the springy softness borne from the perfect amounts of muscle and fat in her legs. Rather than slender, it was probably more accurate to say they were supple.

          …My heart was beating so, so fast …But at the same time, I felt a sense of safety and security that I couldn’t put into words… What a strange feeling…

          “Senpai.”

          Meguru-chan suddenly broke the silence.

          “Y-yes?”

          “Wanna keep playing rock-paper-scissors?”

          “Huh?!”

          Wasn’t that just a one-time thing?!

          “I’ll play scissors again. You said going naked was off limits, so I’ll bet going down to my underwear.”

          Ah, okay, if it’s just the underwear, then… NO, that’s still not okay, right?!

          “Okay, rock, paper, scissors!”

          I was forced to play again. The result: I threw paper, again. And I lost, again.

          “Ehehe, don’t you want to see me in my underwear?”

          “It’s not that I don’t!”

          “Hmmm? Well, I won, so I’m giving you another order. Now I wanna pet you! There, there.”

          “Wai—!”

          She began to stroke my defenseless head. I couldn’t remember the last time anybody had done this for me. It’d been so long ago. And now, Meguru-chan was… and in a position like this… I was once again overcome by an odd sensation, one that was both ticklish and pleasant. My brain was reaching its limit. I couldn’t even think anymore. I could only –

          “How is it?”

          “…Feels good.”

          That was for certain.

          “Hehe, Senpai? I’m supposed to be ordering you around, you know?”

          “Oh…”

          I answered honestly without a second thought. God, this was embarrassing…

          “Just kidding. There’s nothing wrong with an order that feels good, is there?”

          “Gosh…”

          She followed up with the perfect response, as if she could see right through to my soul. She was being a little mean to me, but… it was kinda nice.

          “Your hair is so smooth, Senpai. It’s all flowy, just like fresh water. It’s nice to touch.”

          “I-is it? That’s good.”

          She didn’t say anything after that. She just continued conveying her affection with her hands by gently stroking my head, tracing the lines of my face, and massaging my ears. I, too, remained silent, letting her do whatever she wanted.

          We peacefully spent a while like this, the passage of time making itself known with the reddish sunlight shining in through the window. …And the longer we stayed like this, the more my excitement dimmed, replaced with that sense of security as it began to envelop my whole body. …It was at this point that I finally began to understand the true purpose of this game.

          “Senpai. Would you like to play again?”

          “…Okay.”

          “Hehe, alright. Then I’ll be doing the same as before. And as for the bet… I guess I’ll give you the ribbon on my uniform. You ready?”

          “…Yeah.”

          “Okay. Here goes… Rock, paper, scissors!”

          Unlike the last two times, Meguru-chan wasn’t trying to force anything to happen anymore. She was asking me for the okay at every step, and even what she was betting was now within the realm of normalcy. And the result was…

          “…I win again.”

          “…Yep. You sure did.”

          “You didn’t even want to take a single ribbon away from me… Aw, Senpai! You’re so cool and honest!”

          “…Shut up.”

          She was being mean to me again, so I finally said something I usually wouldn’t. Just like I was a sulky child.

          “Well, rules are rules, so here’s your order. I want you… to call me mommy until I’m satisfied.”

          “W-WHAT?”

          She ended up going for something totally unexpected after all, surprising me to the point of trying to sit up.

          Me?! Calling her “mommy”?! There’s no way! I don’t know for sure, but that’s like, illegal or something, right?!

          “Woah there. Stay right where you are.”

          As I brought myself up, she immediately began to pet me on the head again, bringing me back down in the same motion.

          “But…”

          “It’s okay. It’s an order, you know? You’ll only be calling me this because I made you. So there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

          “Guh…”

          “My maternal instincts just activated all on their own while I was petting you. …I need you to help me by calling me mommy. Pretty please?”

          This was totally unfair. I was being bullied.

          “…Only because it’s an order.”

          “That’s right. It’s an order.”

          …After a few silent seconds that felt like both an eternity and a flash, I gathered myself and followed through.

          “M-mommy.”

          “Yes? What is it, Sakoto?”

          ??!?!

          The tone of Meguru’s reply made me think of the parent and child I’d seen this morning, making me instinctively turn my head down to bury my face in her thighs.

          “Oh my, what’s wrong, Sakoto?”

          “W-wait, Meguru-chan!”

          I replied in a muffled voice.

          “Come now, that’s no way to address your mommy, is it?”

          “Guh…”

          She didn’t show any signs of backing down. On the contrary, she was totally getting into it.

          “Call me mommy properly.”

          “Ah… uh…”

          “Sa. Ko. To?”

          “…….Mommy.”

          “That’s right! I’m your mommy~”

          She began to pet my head again. I wanted to crawl into a hole. That being said, when I realized I was about to slip face-first into her thighs instead, that made me embarrassed too and I flipped back over to face away from her stomach. It felt like the sight of my pathetic self might make her say something mean to me again, but she just stayed silent and gently combed her hands through my hair. …This was… also unfair.

          …………

          Time continued to pass on by as I lost my grip on reality. Thinking back on it now, I realized that something was wrong with me. I’d been acting all strange. Had it been since this game began? …No, it had probably been since this morning.

          “Hey.”

          I spoke.

          “Hmm?”

          “When did you notice?”

          I asked, swallowing my embarrassment.

          “When I brought up my mom. You looked lonely, so… I felt like you wanted some pampering.”

          “…I see.”

          It must have only been for a split second. If she’d seen through even that, then I supposed it was my loss.

          “Sharp.”

          “Hehe! Mommy never misses a sign that my Sakoto wants to be pampered!”

          “You were kinda slow on the uptake yesterday, though.”

          “Well, the other stuff is a bit tougher…”

          “C’mon, what’s that supposed to mean?”

          We smiled at each other.

          Oh, I was starting to get sleepy… Maybe it was the typical after-school lethargy… As Meguru-chan’s hand continued to stroke my head, I began to be overcome with drowsiness. I closed my eyes. Then, she put her free hand over my eyelids. Her body temperature, just a little above mine, enveloped my eyes. …And in that moment, I finally understood. Yeah. This was a warmth I’d never known—

          “Mmm……”

          I woke up from a comfortable slumber. Oh, that wouldn’t do. I fell asleep at school. Wait, huh? What had I been doing? Feeling too light-headed to think, I turned over upwards. When I did—

          Meguru-chan filled my field of vision.

          “Good morning.”

          “────────”

          Like the flames of a bonfire, the red light of the setting sun shined down through the window onto her face.

          I was rendered speechless.

          As I rested on her lap, her eyes laid only on me, gazing with the most loving expression in the world – one that even I could tell was akin to the love of a mother looking at her own child.

          The sight of that expression made me feel as I were a tiny, fragile creature. And yet… I didn’t feel particularly pathetic at all. I felt safe. I felt protected. Like it was okay to be weak. I never knew she could make a face like that.

          “Hey, Meguru-chan?”

          “Yes?”

          “I don’t have a mom.”

          I blurted out before I realized.

          “Some stuff happened when I was really young, and now… she’s somewhere far away.”

          It was the first time in my life that I’d ever brought this up myself.

          “…….Mhm.”

          She seemed a little surprised, but nodded and continued stroking my head. I closed my eyes and continued speaking.

          “It’s not like I feel like it’s my fault or anything, but… As I grew up and learned to think independently… I began thinking about how my dad had been left all alone, and somehow… I stopped knowing how to interact with him.”

          “Mhm.”

          “He’s always busy with work, so we don’t have much time for each other in the first place, and over the years, I’ve started to be lost on what to even say to him… But he’s the reason why I’ve never had to worry about money, so I’m very grateful.”

          “Mhm.”

          “I don’t have any sort of trauma or complexes or anything like that. It happened before I could understand what was going on, so I barely even have any memories of my mom. That’s why when people talk about their mothers, I don’t mind it. I just think to myself, ‘oh, so that’s what it’s like.’ Maybe it’s easier to understand if I say it this way, but those sorts of conversations make me feel like I’m listening to a fantasy.”

          “Mhm.”

          “But you know, doing something like this is…”

          I was just saying things without any sort organization or thought, but now, I finally stopped talking, since I had no idea what to say next. Right then, Meguru-chan spoke to me.

          “It’s okay to do this with me.”

          “……”

          “Because I want to do this too.”

          She said gently.

          This time, I turned over to face her body and buried my face in her stomach.

          “Mm!”

          “Hehe, there, there.”

          I found myself now even making a weird noise. I couldn’t believe myself that I was doing something like this.

          “It’s all your fault…”

          I said.

          “Hm? What is?”

          “Everything. Ever since this morning.”

          “Huh… So I’m suddenly the bad guy now… Well, as long as you let me spoil you, Senpai, that’s okay with me. I’ll take all of the blame.”

          Meguru-chan accepted me with even more grace than before, even with how I was. Ignorance is bliss, or so I’ve heard. That was because you wouldn’t long for happiness if you had no clue what it was. When I first came across the saying, I felt like it could be true. But now…  I imagined there was more to it than just that – because right now, I felt so satisfied—

          “Senpai.”

          “Hm?”

          “I know that dropping the formalities entirely would be too much, but from now on, can I call you Sakoto-senpai?”

          “Yeah, sure.”

          “Thank you, Sakoto-senpai!”

          This was a warmth that enveloped the loneliness.

          I devoted all of my heart to the passage of this hour of twilight, all the way through the sun’s full descent below the horizon.

          “M-Meguru-chan! It’s not what it looked like! I was just, uh, half asleep!”

          “Hehe, okay, okay.”

          As we parted at the gate, my mind went back to what we had just been doing, causing my face to turn bright red as I held back the urge to writhe in agony and spilled excuses all over the place. This was no good, no good at all… I couldn’t let anybody ever see me like that. However… after this was all said and done, I began to come to a certain realization.

          That realization was of the other side of my own self, and…

          Of the meaning of her confession.

          “Meguru-chan, can I ask you one last thing?”

          “Yes? What is it?”

          “Um… Can you tell me what made you fall for me?”

          Even though I knew it was a totally ill-mannered and uncool question that was meant to force out her true feelings, I couldn’t help but ask.

          “??? Because I want to make you my female?”

          “But can you explain in detail, please?”

          “Details? Ah, well… Oh!”

          “You’ve thought of something?!”

          “Yes! I want to see someone as cool as you—”

          Yep, someone as cool as me—

          “Be super cute!”

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