Just how many times had we already had this conversation about her working?

            I squeezed the platypus tissue box in my hand even tighter.

            The last few times we talked about her working never went in my favor.

            “I wanted to hear what you think.”

            That was what Sendai-san would always say, even though I knew she’d already made up her mind. And it wasn’t like this was the first time she brought it up either.

            I remembered her saying she wanted to take on a second job over winter break.

            I let go of the platypus’s hand I’d been gripping so tightly.

            「You’ve already talked about this before. About getting a second job for winter break.」

            「So, is it okay if I do, then?」

            I didn’t hate that Sendai-san asked for my permission first. Still, since she’d already made up her mind, it felt pointless.

            「Do whatever you want.」

            Trying to change her mind when it was already set was just a waste of energy. All it would leave me with was frustration.

            「Does that mean you’re okay with me getting another job?」

            Sendai-san asked carefully, like she was making sure.

            「I didn’t say that. But you said it before, right? That you wouldn’t go back home even if you couldn’t find a job here in the future.」

            「You actually remembered that, huh.」

            For some reason, she sounded pleased, but I wasn’t happy in the slightest.

            「Yeah. That’s why I think you should just do whatever you want.」

            「I want you to say you’re okay with it.」

            Hearing her try to make me say something I didn’t want to, I pulled a tissue from the box. Sendai-san’s hand—which had been resting on the floor this whole time—brushed against mine, and when she reached for it, I quickly pulled it away. Then I crumpled it into a ball and threw it at her.

            「What’s your deal, Sendai-san?」

            「What do you mean?」

            She picked up the tissue that had bounced off her and tossed it toward the trash can. It hit the edge and fell back onto the floor.

            「It’s not like you listen even when I tell you I’m against it. So all I can say is do whatever you want.」

            There was no reason my opinion should matter to Sendai-san anyway.

            If anything, I was the one who needed to change.

            Getting this worked up over my roommate having a job was ridiculous.

            Working a part-time job was something everyone did.

            Asakura-san already had one, and Maika might get one too.

            So if Sendai-san wanted to work—something she was already doing—she should be free to. Whether she took on more shifts or cut back was entirely up to her. It wasn’t really my place to interfere.

            I understood that perfectly well.

            Still, even if I understood it logically, my feelings couldn’t keep up.

            If it were Maika standing here telling me she was thinking about getting a part-time job, I could brush it off with a simple “Oh, really?” Or maybe I’d even encourage her and say, “That sounds like a good idea. You should do it.” But when it came to Sendai-san, I couldn’t do the same. Even though I knew what I should say, I always ended up saying something else.

            「Even if it doesn’t change anything, I still want to hear you say I’m allowed to do it. I belong to you, after all, so I want your permission.」

            Instead of picking up the trash she’d missed, Sendai-san turned to face me.

            There was a strong determination in her eyes, and it didn’t look like she had any intention of backing down. The words I actually wanted to say got stuck in my throat, pressed down by her steady gaze, sinking deeper into the bottomless swamp in my chest. They were swallowed up, buried in murky water.

            「… When are you planning to start?」

            「After Christmas.」

            「And when will you stop?」

            「I was planning to keep working until winter break ends.」

            「If you’ve already thought that far ahead, then just do whatever you want.」

            Sendai-san belonged to me, so she shouldn’t be deciding things on her own.

            I knew that way of thinking was selfish. I knew I was always trying to take advantage of the part of her that would listen to me no matter what.

            And still, even knowing that, I couldn’t give her the permission she wanted.

            「Miyagi.」

            When she called my name, my gaze drifted to the blue stones hanging from her ears.

            I wanted to tell myself that everything would be fine and that the earrings were there to watch over her for me.

            But I couldn’t.

            Even though I’d chosen and given her those earrings to act as my stand-in, I still couldn’t believe everything would be fine. It irritated me that, even though Sendai-san was supposed to be mine, she kept trying to make me give in and change my mind.

            「… I told you already. I don’t like coming back to an empty place.」

            I muttered, looking down at the platypus tissue box in my hands, gently squeezing its small paws.

            「It’s not like I won’t come back at all, and I won’t be gone the whole day either. I’ll stay by your side until I have to leave, and I’ll be right back with you as soon as I’m done. We can even sleep together if you want.」

            「I never said anything about sleeping together. And you don’t have to go that far.」

            That wasn’t what I wanted.

            It wasn’t about having her with me until she left, or right after she came back.

            I just didn’t want her to leave at all. And I didn’t really care about sleeping together either. All I wanted was to be somewhere I could always keep my eyes on her.

            「I was just joking about the sleeping together part. Anyway, if that’s not what you want from me, then tell me what you do want.」

            Sendai-san asked softly, and I looked up at her.

            The words I wanted to say were things I knew I shouldn’t say, so I swallowed them.

            「I want you to wear those earrings to work.」

            The stones in her ears were tied to the month I was born, but they didn’t feel like enough to bind Sendai-san to me. Still, since I had no other way to mark her where everyone could see, I had no choice but to settle for the blue stones.

            「I told you I’d wear them all the time, didn’t I?」

            「… And I want you to let me leave marks on you.」

            At times like this, Sendai-san would agree to almost anything I asked.

            The last time she asked for permission to work, I made her tell me when she’d “done it to herself” in exchange—and she actually did. So this time, if she wanted me to say something I didn’t want to, I wanted something in return too.

            「Okay.」

            「I want to mark you wherever I want, as much as I want. So I don’t want to hear any complaints.」

            「Sure. I’ll let you do that. If you have anything else you want, I’ll listen to those requests too.」

            「Other than for work, don’t go anywhere else during winter break.」

            「Okay.」

            She agreed so easily it felt anticlimactic.

            「Are you really going to agree to anything I ask?」

            「If it’s something I can do, then yeah.」

            「… Even if I told you to take everything off right now? Including your underwear?」

            It wasn’t like I wanted to do anything with her.

            I only wanted to see her look a little troubled.

            「Is that what you really want from me, Miyagi?」

            「What would you do if I said yes?」

            「… Then I’d do it, if you take my clothes off for me.」

            Sendai-san said it like it was nothing.

            I reached out and brushed her cheek. My fingers slid down her neck, grazing the nape before slipping under her clothes from her collar to her shoulder.

            She didn’t move at all. Her expression stayed the same.

            She just looked straight at me.

            She didn’t seem to be lying.

            If I wanted, I could strip her right here, right now.

            But I didn’t know what would come after.

            Sometimes I didn’t even understand myself. Whenever Sendai-san was around, things stopped making sense, and my thoughts turned into a tangled mess.

            「Are you not going to take my clothes off, Miyagi?」

            Hearing her voice reminded me of our promise to “wait until Christmas.”

            If I did it now, what would happen to that promise?

            I pulled my hand away.

            「… Fine, you can work.」

            Even with my feelings still mixed up, I said the one thing I didn’t want to say.

            I hated it.

            I glared at her, pushing all my frustration onto her.

            「Thanks.」

            「You don’t have to ask me every time you want to work. It’s annoying when you try to push me into giving you permission. If you want another job, just do it.」

            「I’ll keep asking, so make sure you give me permission every time, okay?」

            「I don’t want to, and I won’t.」

            I didn’t want her asking.

            I didn’t want to give her permission either.

            It annoyed me that she kept taking on more work, but it made me feel sick to my stomach how she kept trying to pull an answer out of me again and again.

            I hugged the platypus tissue box and stroked its head.

            Even without her here, I still had the crocodile tissue box and the black cat plush to keep me company. I didn’t like being at home alone, though I wasn’t so childish that I couldn’t stay at home by myself.

            I pulled out a tissue and rolled it into a ball like before.

            「Miyagi.」

            「What?」

            「If there’s a warm day during winter break, let’s go to the zoo like we promised.」

            「Why are you suddenly changing the topic?」

            「Why not? We’re done talking about work, so I figured I’d bring up the zoo.」

            「How would we even go? You’ll be working two jobs during winter break, right?」

            I threw the tissue ball at her.

            「It’s not like I’ll be working every day. I still want to have dinner with you, or hang out in your room and watch movies, or in mine, or play games together when I’m off.」

            She said gently, picking up the tissue ball, like she was trying to lift my spirits.

            I didn’t want to say anything, so I stayed quiet.

            She took the platypus tissue box from me.

            「Miyagi.」

            She said my name softly, then leaned in without asking and pressed her lips to my ear.

            「You’re too close, Sendai-san.」

            I took the tissue box back and pushed her arm away.

            「Not close enough.」

            She grabbed my hand anyway and whispered against my ear like it was the most natural thing in the world. Her lips touched my ear again, then something warm brushed my earlobe.

            Her tongue traced along it before her lips moved to the nape of my neck.

            “Wait until Christmas.”

            The words I had been trying so hard to ignore stirred something deep inside me, and my heart gave a hard thump.

            「It’s not the day of our promise yet, right?」

            I asked as I pushed Sendai-san away by her shoulders.

            「Speaking of which, I haven’t heard you agree to that either, you know?」

            「It really annoys me when you try to force a response out of me.」

            I had already resigned myself when it came to her job, but for anything else, I wanted to answer her however I wanted, whenever I wanted. I didn’t want Sendai-san deciding the timing of my answers.

            「It’s okay. For now, I won’t do anything aside from kissing you.」

            Before I could even figure out what was supposed to be “okay,” she pressed her lips against mine, then pulled away immediately.

            I felt a small sense of relief realizing she hadn’t lied and really was only going to give me a kiss. At the same time, I couldn’t help feeling a little unsatisfied, and I tightened my grip on the platypus’s hand.

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