After feeding Miyagi some chips, she served us frozen Hamburg steaks and instant soup for dinner. It was a quick, simple meal, just like what we always ate.
She asked me to stay for dinner, but didn’t invite me to spend the night, so I left after we finished eating. There were some things Miyagi would never say, and the things she did say were usually cold, as if to push me away. That was just how she was, and I had always been okay with it.
— Until last month.
I stopped jotting down the notes from the blackboard and glanced at the clock—only five minutes left until lunch.
My focus drifted back to the board as I absentmindedly doodled a crocodile in my notebook.
It had been a few days since I’d seen Miyagi, and I found myself wishing she’d say something she normally wouldn’t.
September felt like the tail end of summer break, and graduation had still seemed distant back then. Then, October came and went in a blur, with midterms and preparations for the cultural festival keeping me too busy to think about how little time we had left. But now that it was November, the reality of graduation felt much closer. There were still days ahead of us, but with winter break coming up and all the optional attendance days1 in our third term, it didn’t seem like enough.
There wasn’t anything specific I wanted to hear from Miyagi, but I just wanted her to say something different. After realizing how kind Miyagi could be when I was sick, I’ve been wanting more of that from her.
I drew tissues growing from the back of the crocodile in my notebook.
Not long after, the bell rang, and the teacher dismissed us for lunch. I put my books away and made my way to Umina’s desk, tapping her on the shoulder.
「Umina, I’m going to buy my lunch today, so you should start eating without me.」
With my wallet in hand, I made my way toward the door, weaving through the desks. Just as I was about to step out, I heard Umina’s voice calling out to me.
「Hazuki, get me some strawberry juice! I’ll pay you back later.」
「Me too!」
Mariko added, and I raised my hand in acknowledgment.
「Okay.」
It wasn’t a big ask, so I quickly agreed and turned to step into the hallway. But as I did, I accidentally bumped into someone.
「Whoa!」
To be fair, I hadn’t been watching where I was going.
I wasn’t in any rush, but I wasn’t paying attention either.
「Sorry! Are you okay?」
I blurted out an apology and looked at the person I ran into. It was someone I recognized.
「Oh, no, it was my fault as well.」
It was Utsunomiya Maika.
Miyagi mentioned her often, and I always saw them together, so I knew her face well. But to Utsunomiya, I was just a former classmate. We weren’t really friends, so I kept my words polite.
「Are you alright?」
「Yeah, I’m fine.」
Utsunomiya answered, and we started walking down the same direction.
There weren’t many places to go within the school. The hallways were straight and narrow, with classrooms on one side and windows on the other. It was lunchtime, so the usual destinations were either the bathroom or the school store, and Utsunomiya seemed to be going the same way as me.
「Um, I’m not sure if you remember, but I’m Utsunomiya. We were in the same class last year, Sendai-san.」
Utsunomiya, who had been walking slightly ahead, suddenly stopped to introduce herself.
「Of course I remember.」
I’d heard her name countless times from Miyagi.
Obviously, I couldn’t say that, so I gave a simple, safe response, and we continued down the hallway in silence.
Though she’d started the conversation, Utsunomiya went quiet again. I figured she probably felt obligated to say something, since we were former classmates that bumped into each other and were now heading in the same direction, but the silence was more awkward than before.
I didn’t have much to say either, so we walked along quietly.
Since we were going the same way, I couldn’t exactly leave either.
Silence with Miyagi never bothered me, but with Utsunomiya, it felt uncomfortable. She wasn’t a stranger, but she wasn’t a close friend either. The silence felt heavy, and I wanted to break it with something, anything.
That being said, there were only so many topics we could talk about, so I decided to go with the safest one.
「Which university are you thinking of applying to, Utsunomiya?」
She told me the name of her first choice.
「Oh, I’m also aiming for a university outside the prefecture.」
When she asked which one, I told her the name and added, “Maybe we’ll run into each other if we both get in.”
「Oh, Shiori– uh, I mean, Miyagi Shiori, who was in our class last year, is also applying to the same university as me, so you might run into――」
「Huh?」
I blurted out without thinking, interrupting Utsunomiya.
Miyagi Shiori.
It was a name I was all too familiar with, one that didn’t need to be repeated, yet hearing it made me stop in my tracks.
As far as I was aware, Miyagi was set on applying to a local university.
―― So, why…?
「Is something wrong?」
My voice had come out louder than expected, leaving Utsunomiya with a confused expression on her face.
「Oh, sorry. I was just surprised; I didn’t realize Miyagi’s grades were that good.」
I knew that might’ve been a bit rude to say, but I couldn’t come up with anything better to bury the awkwardness with.
「Yeah, it seems like she’s been studying really hard lately.」
Utsunomiya replied, still looking puzzled, but not particularly skeptical.
Utsunomiya probably only mentioned Miyagi’s name to fill the silence and was caught off guard by my reaction. If I could just steer the conversation away from Miyagi, we could chat about anything else until we reached the school store.
I resumed walking, but as soon as I took a step forward, my mouth decided to move on its own.
「Is Miyagi actually trying to get into the same school as you?」
「Well, she brought it up rather suddenly, so I can’t tell if she was being serious, but she did say she at least wanted to give it a shot.」
「Huh, I see.」
「… Um, Sendai-san… are you and Shiori friends?」
Our conversation was meant to be casual, but Utsunomiya’s tone shifted lower, as if trying to gauge the situation. She looked a bit tense and perhaps a little nervous. Maybe she had been waiting to ask me this all along.
「Why do you ask?」
I shot a question back at her while maintaining a smile on my face.
「I had a hunch from that time you and Shiori ran into each other in the hallway. Plus, it sometimes feels like you’re stealing glances at her whenever we pass by you. And there was also that time you came to our class to look for her.」
She was quite perceptive.
I couldn’t recall sneaking glances at Miyagi, but we’d definitely made eye contact before. Although we’d agreed not to interact with each other at school, we were deeply connected outside of it, so my reactions were likely involuntary.
「No, we’re not friends. And the only reason I was looking for her was because a teacher had asked me to.」
I kept smiling and picked up my pace slightly.
「… I guess it was just my imagination, then.」
Utsunomiya murmured before adding, “I’m going to buy something to drink,” and walked off toward the vending machines.
Since we weren’t particularly close, I didn’t feel the need to accompany her. Instead, I decided to buy a sandwich first, then get the juice boxes Umina and Mariko had requested earlier before heading back to the classroom, where the two were excitedly chatting about their boyfriends.
It was pretty fun spending lunch with Umina and the others, and it did make me a bit sad to think that soon, I wouldn’t have the chance to hear their lighthearted chatter anymore. But today, their words felt like background noise, and I found myself neither enjoying nor feeling sad about it.
I simply nodded along while munching on my sandwich.
I had no idea Miyagi was aiming for a university outside the prefecture.
I had considered suggesting a nearby school in case applying to the university I was aiming for was impossible for her, but I knew she would coldly dismiss it.
Yet, here she was, suddenly aiming for the same university as Utsunomiya—a school not far from my first choice.
But then again, nothing was finalized yet.
She could still be weighing her options.
But given how much she was studying even after our midterms were done, what Utsunomiya said earlier was probably true.
If that were the case, then the fact that Miyagi went out of her way to hide this from me probably meant she didn’t want me to know, and that her motivations for choosing that university likely had little to do with me.
It would’ve been nice if the reason why she wanted to attend a university outside of the prefecture was to be with me, but it made more sense if she was doing it to stay close to Utsunomiya.
Yeah, I can’t imagine it being for any other reason.
There was no surprise there.
Miyagi and I didn’t have the sort of relationship where we’d promise each other we’d attend the same university or at least choose ones close together.
She was determined to let our current relationship end when graduation rolled around, and she wouldn’t even let me kiss her anymore. She probably didn’t care about us parting ways after graduation either.
But Utsunomiya was different; she was someone Miyagi didn’t want to lose. It was perfectly understandable that she chose Utsunomiya over me. To Miyagi, I was merely a former classmate, not even a friend.
Sure, there was nothing unusual about that at all.
But I definitely wasn’t happy about it.
Miyagi and Utsunomiya were just friends, nothing more – that much, I was certain of.
But even if Miyagi and I weren’t friends, I was closer to her in a way Utsunomiya wasn’t. And yet, Miyagi still chose Utsunomiya— who was just a regular friend— over me. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was annoyed, but I could definitely feel my stomach churn.
The sandwich I was eating didn’t taste great either.
It felt like my sense of taste had been warped by Miyagi to the point where even the instant food she prepared—or rather, warmed up—tasted a lot better than this.
I forced down the dry sandwich and followed it with a sip of milk tea. Then, I heard a notification from my phone in my pocket. Checking the screen, I saw the usual message from Miyagi.
But I wanted to have a conversation with her somewhere other than her home.
I responded to her message with something different than usual this time.
『Meet me in the music preparation room after school. I’ll be waiting for you.』
I never got a reply from her, not even after all our classes had finished.
I wasn’t surprised in the slightest; I had expected her not to respond.
But either way, I made my way straight to the music preparation room.
- 自由登校 (jiyuu toukou), which directly translates to “free attendance,” is a period of time where attendance for classes is optional, primarily reserved for third year students in their final school term. This is so that students can focus solely on preparing for their entrance exams instead of needing to attend their classes. There are supplementary classes that still get held during this time, but attendance for these classes is optional and will not affect the students’ grade or record. ↩︎
Ave Lilium Translations 