I couldn’t tell if Miyagi had made up her mind or just given up on deciding, but one thing was clear: she didn’t run away.
Even after I let go of her arm, she remained standing in front of me.
I had only asked her to meet me in the music preparation room because I wanted to have a talk after watching her enjoy the cultural festival without me. I never had any intention of kissing her.
She’d waited for me throughout the two days of the festival.
That might not have been entirely accurate, but I never could’ve imagined that Miyagi would ever say anything that suggested she had. And because of that, what should’ve been a brief conversation had spiraled into something much more.
It was all Miyagi’s fault for saying something so unexpected like that.
I never thought she’d remember something I had said half-jokingly, and I certainly didn’t expect her to react the way she did. That was probably why I was getting so carried away now.
「Miyagi.」
I gently called her name as I caressed her cheek. Miyagi looked a little displeased, but she didn’t pull away. I took it as a sign she wasn’t against what I was about to do and slowly leaned in. Although she didn’t move, her expression seemed like she wanted to complain.
「How about you close your eyes?」
「I don’t need you to tell me that.」
Her voice carried a hint of dissatisfaction, and I could tell she wasn’t planning on closing her eyes obediently. That was usually the case with her, so I pressed my palm against her cheek. Miyagi kept staring at me, showing no desire to shut her eyes. It was hard to picture her as someone about to be kissed.
But it wasn’t like we had the kind of relationship where we needed to care about the mood between us.
I had no choice but to close my eyes first as I leaned in, pressing my lips against hers.
It felt just like the kisses we shared over summer break.
I was used to her softness and warmth, but something felt different this time—it was my heart. Maybe it was because we were at school, but my heartbeat was so loud it startled me. Unable to take it any longer, I broke away after a brief kiss, only for her to grab my arm.
I turned my gaze to the hand that clutched my arm tightly, but not with enough force to make me want to pull away. When I looked into Miyagi’s eyes, it seemed like she wanted to bite me, but she didn’t act on it. She didn’t seem like she fully accepted me, but she wasn’t rejecting me either. If Miyagi really wanted to bite me, she would’ve done so already.
So then, the reason why she’s grabbing me must be because…
I lowered my gaze and stared at the hand that was holding my arm.
「Miyagi, that hurts.」
She didn’t respond.
Even though she had to have heard me, she refused to let go of my arm. Instead, her grip tightened further, her nails digging into my skin.
When I looked at Miyagi, she wore a disgruntled expression on her face.
Let me try getting closer again.
Miyagi wasn’t saying anything or moving at all.
But when I tried to back away, she yanked on my arm.
I didn’t dislike the way Miyagi tried to keep me close with these small gestures.
「Can I do it again?」
I asked, even though I already knew the answer. Miyagi didn’t say anything or nod; instead, she tugged on my arm, as if urging me to continue.
I didn’t want to say it out loud because it’d be troublesome if she ran away, but I found her reaction cute.
I slowly leaned in, bringing our faces closer together. This time, Miyagi was the first to close her eyes as our lips met.
My heart continued to race loudly and quickly.
I had kissed Miyagi countless times before, enough that I was used to it by now.
But what I was feeling right now was probably nervousness.
Our lips had only been gently pressed together, with no force or tongue, yet the heat was intense. When I held Miyagi by the shoulders, the warmth spread to my hands. As more of her body brushed against mine, my heart raced wildly, refusing to calm down, and it felt almost suffocating.
I didn’t want to break away yet, but as our lips parted, Miyagi continued to hold onto me. However, her grip was light, so it didn’t hurt.
After a moment’s hesitation about whether to kiss her again, I decided to press my lips against hers more firmly than before.
Miyagi made no attempt to run away, and I could feel my heart starting to settle down a little.
Not wanting to separate from Miyagi, I kissed her longer than I had the first or second time.
Miyagi was closer to me than anyone else had ever been.
Where our bodies touched, our warmth blended together.
Everything felt unbelievably good.
Wanting to feel more of Miyagi’s warmth, I brushed her lips with the tip of my tongue, but unsurprisingly, she shoved me away by my shoulders. I backed up three steps with little resistance, and Miyagi opened her mouth to speak.
「I never said you could kiss me like that.」
「Like what?」
「Like the way you just did.」
「I won’t know unless you tell me directly.」
「If you can’t figure it out, then don’t kiss me at all.」
At times like this, Miyagi tended to be vague with her words. I found this endearing, but my curiosity about how she’d react if I pressed her further often led me to say more than I should, which made her snap back at me.
This happened a lot, and while I didn’t want to spoil the mood any further, I couldn’t help wanting to see her reactions just a bit more.
「So you’re saying it’s okay as long as I don’t do that again?」
I took two steps closer to her and leaned in, expecting her to get angry at me, but all she did was respond with a displeased tone.
「It’s only been about a month since then. You should really learn how to endure it a bit more.」
She was probably referring to the last day of summer vacation. We hadn’t kissed once since that day.
「So, does that mean you’ve been enduring it too, Miyagi? Are you saying you actually wanted to kiss?」
I knew I was being a little mean, but I was interested in seeing what sort of reaction I’d get.
「Stop twisting my words. Do you think it’s funny to say things like that all the time?」
「I do.」
「You’re the worst, Sendai-san.」
“I wanted to kiss you.”
I knew Miyagi would never say something like that, but a part of me had secretly hoped she would.
It’d be a problem if something like what happened over summer break occurred again.
We can’t keep doing this.
Those were the thoughts I used to have, but after kissing Miyagi again, I found it difficult to understand why I felt that way at all. Even the agreement we had started to seem pointless.
「It’s fine as long as all we’re doing is kissing, right? It’s not like it’s against our rules anymore.」
「It’s not fine.」
Miyagi said firmly.
「In that case, how about we make a rule that says it’s okay?」
「No.」
For the price of five-thousand-yen, I had to follow Miyagi’s orders.
I initially agreed to it just to pass the time, but it had spiraled into something much more. The rules we established in the beginning were becoming a nuisance, and Miyagi’s stubborn commitment to those rules was starting to annoy me.
There was a convenient word for situations like this: flexibility1.
As long as no one found out, there was nothing wrong with us interacting at school or even kissing, and as long as no one knew about our relationship, then turning my suggestion into a rule shouldn’t be an issue at all.
「Are you that against kissing?」
「That’s an unfair way to put it.」
「That means you do want to kiss, so how about you just compromise already?」
「… Even if we keep doing this, it won’t matter since you’re just going to end up leaving anyway.」
「Let’s apply to the same university, then.」
「You should just stay here, Sendai-san.」
「Huh?」
Hearing Miyagi say something I never thought she’d say, I couldn’t help but stare at her. Her lips were pressed tightly together.
「Miyagi?」
I called out her name, but she didn’t reply.
Instead, she turned her gaze away. I reached out to touch her cheek, hoping to get her to look at me, but she coldly responded with,
「Don’t touch me.」
I ignored what she said and rested my palm against her cheek. Normally, Miyagi would’ve pushed my hand away by now, but today, she didn’t.
「Give me my necktie back, Sendai-san.」
Miyagi said, her words reasonable enough to make me pull my hand away from her cheek. With no reason to resist, I did as she asked. I took my necktie off and handed it to her while she did the same.
Before she could say anything else, I wanted to tell her what to do with the other thing we had exchanged.
「You can keep my blouse, Miyagi. It’s not like I’ll get another chance to wear it anyway. Do you still want yours back?」
I told her I’d brought the blouse with me, though in reality, it wasn’t even in my bag. Even if she wanted it back right now, I couldn’t give it to her, but I doubted it would be an issue.
「You don’t have to give it back today.」
Her words were vague, but Miyagi was entrusting her blouse to me. Then, as if to steer the conversation elsewhere, she asked,
「Why did you ask me to come here today?」
「Because it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. I just wanted to talk.」
Before the cultural festival began, Miyagi seemed completely uninterested in the event, yet when I saw her today, she looked like she was enjoying herself.
Miyagi seemed to be having fun even without me, and in the end, I couldn’t help but think she would’ve been annoyed if I’d gone to her class. Besides, even if I had visited, we wouldn’t be able to talk anyway. On top of that, while I enjoyed last year’s festival, this year’s just wasn’t the same. Even though I spent this year’s festival the same way as I did last year, something about it just felt off.
That was why I texted Miyagi.
I just didn’t want the cultural festival to end on such a dull note.
That was pretty much it.
「That was your idea of a talk?」
「Things might’ve gotten a bit out of hand, but we did talk, didn’t we?」
Sure, we did other things too, but we definitely talked.
Broadly speaking, it wasn’t wrong to say we had talked. Miyagi looked unhappy and began mumbling, “I guess, but…” though she didn’t seem interested in voicing the rest of her complaint to me.
「Shall we head home?」
I asked, stating it more like a decision than a question, and Miyagi nodded.
We hadn’t been here that long, but quite a bit of time had passed since the cultural festival ended. The sun had been setting earlier lately, so it must’ve been dark out by now.
「Do you want to leave first?」
I asked out of consideration for Miyagi, who probably didn’t want us to be seen together.
「… No, you go first, Sendai-san. I’ll follow you to the shoe lockers.」
「You’re going to follow me? But someone might see us together. Are you okay with that?」
「I’ll keep enough distance so that even if someone sees us, it won’t matter. And, well…」
「What is it?」
Somehow, I could guess what she was going to say, but I still decided to ask her anyway, and she replied in a sulky voice.
「It’s scary being in the old school building.」
「Do you need me to hold your hand?」
「I don’t need you doing anything unnecessary. Just hurry up and go already. It’s getting dark.」
「Getting dark? It’s already dark, so how about you walk next to me?」
「No, absolutely not. Now get out into the hallway.」
Miyagi said with a frown on her face as she opened the door and shoved me out.
Left with no other choice, I started walking.
The sound of my footsteps echoed lightly, and soon I heard another set of footsteps following me.
When I turned to look at Miyagi, I felt more at ease than I had during the entire cultural festival.
- In the original Japanese, Sendai actually says: 世の中には臨機応変という便利な言葉がある, which directly translates to, “There was a handy saying for times like this: playing it by the ear.” Let’s dissect this from the beginning.
In both Japanese and Chinese (Korean is really similar to both these languages, but I don’t know a lick of Korean, so I apologize if this applies to it as well and I just excluded it), they have these things called 四字熟語 (yojijukugo), which means “four-character idioms.” As the name suggests, these are idioms that are written with four characters only.
The idiom Sendai uses here is 臨機応変 (rinki ouhen). It means “to play it by ear,” which essentially means “to be flexible” with things or circumstances. Adapting, improvising (but not so much overcoming), being able to change, etc. In this case, Sendai is only pointing this out because she thinks Miyagi is the complete opposite – too inflexible. She’s trying to convey that the rules should be flexible, and “as long as no one finds out about us, who cares if we do this or that?” ↩︎
Ave Lilium Translations 