I had forgotten to set an alarm.
I couldn’t remember setting one before falling asleep, and yet, I woke up on my own. As I shifted around, I noticed Sendai-san lying right next to me.
「… Why?」
I closed my eyes, then opened them wide, confirming what I saw. Sendai-san was right there, sleeping peacefully in front of me.
Still groggy, I tried piecing things together.
Yesterday, Sendai-san came over, we had dinner, and she stayed the night.
That much was clear—it had all really happened.
But there was one memory I didn’t want to acknowledge.
――The reason why Sendai-san was sleeping beside me.
It was because I had climbed into the futon I had laid out for her and fallen asleep there of my own accord.
「My whole body feels so sore.」
Probably because we’d crammed ourselves into a futon way too small for two people. My joints ached as I sighed and reached out to gently tug at her bangs.
「Mmnn…」
Her lips moved slightly, letting out a soft, incoherent noise, but she didn’t wake up.
I touched her cheek with my fingertip, tracing it down to her chin. She stayed perfectly still, fast asleep.
「… Hazuki.」
I gently called her name, but there was no reply. I picked up a strand of her long, light brown hair—a color she’d always gotten away with at school despite it being against the rules—and brought it closer, brushing my lips against it.
I hadn’t noticed yesterday, but her hair was incredibly soft and smelled just like mine.
As I let the strand of her hair slip away from my lips, I shifted closer to Sendai-san.
It wasn’t just her hair. Her whole body smelled exactly like mine.
I was the only one who knew this side of Sendai-san—the side of her that was wearing my clothes and carried my scent. It felt like this version of her belonged to me alone. But I doubted I’d ever get the chance to see her sleeping like this again.
Reaching out, I brushed my fingers against the chain of the necklace peeking out from her sweatshirt.
The end of our arrangement was drawing near.
Winter break would soon be over, and before long, our entrance exams would pass too. Graduation was only a few torn calendar pages away.
And when that day came, my high school life would be over, whether I was ready for it or not.
I let out a quiet sigh.
As my fingertips traced the chain, Sendai-san stirred slightly, making my heart skip a beat. I quickly withdrew my hand and slipped out of the futon as quietly as I could.
I changed my clothes in near silence and headed to the kitchen.
Even without needing to look, I already knew what was in the refrigerator. Still, I opened it, and as expected, there was hardly anything inside.
I pulled out a few slices of bread from the freezer and slid them into the toaster. After setting out plates and cups, I grabbed a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator. Before I even had the chance to call Sendai-san over, she appeared in the kitchen.
「Good morning. What are you up to?」
She asked in a drowsy voice, still dressed in my set of sweats as her eyes shifted to the toaster.
「Good morning. Can’t you tell what I’m doing just by looking?」
「If I had to guess, you’re probably making us breakfast?」
「Not “probably.” That is what I’m doing.」
「… Miyagi… You know I still have prep school later, right? I don’t know what I’m going to do if it starts snowing all of a sudden.」
「Look, if you don’t want to eat it, just say so.」
I said, lightly kicking her foot for teasing me as I placed the freshly toasted bread on the plates.
「I’m just joking around. Can I go get changed first?」
She tugged at the hem of her sweatshirt.
「No. The bread’s already toasted.」
I placed the plates on the counter table and went back to grab the orange juice and some butter. For some reason, Sendai-san was following right behind me, peeking into the refrigerator.
「Surely you’ve got some jam in there, right?」
She asked, leaning close enough that her voice tickled my ear, and I pushed her head away.
「Yeah, but it might be expired.」
「Seriously?」
「Well, we have butter, so it should be fine.」
I handed her the container I’d taken from the refrigerator, but she looked more disappointed than necessary.
「It tastes better with both, though.」
「You’ll put on a lot of weight like that.」
「I guess you have a point. Anyway, what’s the expiration date on the jam?」
She asked, and I glanced at the date printed on the bottle.
「Looks like it’s fine. Just barely, though.」
I handed her the bottle of jam and shut the refrigerator door. While I poured orange juice into our cups, Sendai-san placed the butter and jam on the counter table and sat down. I brought the cups over and set them beside her.
「Let’s eat.」
We said in unison as we looked at our modest breakfast. I spread butter on my toast while Sendai-san took a bite of hers, which was layered with both butter and jam. Then, she glanced over at me.
「You should try putting some on, too.」
She slid the bottle of jam towards me.
It wasn’t like I’d never seen bread with both butter and jam sold in stores before, but it wasn’t something I ever did myself. Butter was butter, and jam was jam. Some things were better left separate.
But the expectant look in Sendai-san’s eyes wore me down. With a small sigh, I spread a thin layer of jam over my buttered toast and took a bite.
The crust gave a satisfying crunch, and the creamy butter blended with the sweet strawberry flavor. Bite by bite, the salty richness of the butter and the fruity sweetness of the jam came together perfectly.
「It’s pretty delicious, right?」
「Yeah, more than I expected it to be.」
Maybe I’ll add a bit of jam next time, too.
「I’m glad you think that.」
Sendai-san smiled softly, taking a sip of orange juice from her glass.
Thinking back, Sendai-san and I had once made French toast together during summer break. That wasn’t the only time, either—she’d cooked plenty of meals here before. Somewhere along the line, Sendai-san and food had become deeply connected in my mind.
Sharing meals like this had become so normal that the thought of eating alone again felt unbearably dull. I’d been eating by myself for years, both in the mornings and at night, but now, because of Sendai-san, I found myself dreading the idea of returning to those lonely routines.
I drained the last of my orange juice and finished the rest of my toast. The flavors of the butter, jam, and slightly burnt crust blended in a way that felt oddly comforting, as if filling a small emptiness inside me.
「I’ll take care of the dishes, so go ahead and get changed.」
I said while gathering up the plates and cups.
「Hmm… it really feels like it’s going to snow today.」
「If you hate the idea of getting changed so much, just go home wearing those clothes.」
「There’s still plenty of time before I need to leave, but fine, I’ll go.」
Sendai-san popped the last bite of toast into her mouth and stood up. She headed toward my bedroom, leaving me alone.
I carried the dishes she’d used over to the sink and turned on the hot water. As I scrubbed them with a soapy sponge, my eyes drifted to the clock.
Just a few more hours left.
It felt like no time at all had passed since she arrived yesterday, yet in a few short hours, I’d be on my own again. The thought of spending tonight without the person who had been by my side all last night left me with a faint sense of loneliness.
I’d known she had prep school today, and there was no chance she’d stay over another night. I understood that perfectly, yet the uneasy feeling of her leaving soon refused to go away.
After finishing the dishes, I shut off the water and headed back to my room.
When I returned, Sendai-san was sitting at the table with her makeup done, as if she’d been waiting for me.
「There’s still some time left, so why don’t we study for a bit?」
She asked, spreading her textbooks across the table.
「Sure, but…」
「But?」
「No kisses today.」
I answered as I took a seat next to her, and Sendai-san stared at me with a puzzled look.
「Why not?」
She asked, even though she likely already knew the reason.
She had kissed me so many times yesterday – excusing it as part of our trade agreement for helping me study – that letting her cash in on the deal again felt like pushing things too far.
「There’s a limit to how much is allowed. Whatever you did yesterday also counts for today.」
「I don’t remember hearing anything about this. So, how much is the limit, then?」
「I’m not going to tell you.」
「Why not? How am I supposed to know if I’ve stayed within the limit or not?」
「I’ll let you know when enough is enough.」
I placed my textbooks on the table, turning my gaze down to the pages filled with tiny letters.
Truthfully, I hadn’t even set a concrete limit myself, so I couldn’t answer her question. And even if I had, Sendai-san would have ignored it immediately, making it pointless to establish one in the first place. Besides, if she tried kissing me like she had yesterday, I had a gut feeling things wouldn’t stop there, and that made me all the more against it.
「You’re pretty selfish sometimes, you know that, Miyagi?」
「The same goes for you, Sendai-san.」
I said without looking at her, and she replied with, “Well, I guess I won’t deny that.” And then, the conversation came to an abrupt end.
We continued studying in silence, and before long, the afternoon arrived. We had lunch together, and soon it was time for Sendai-san to leave. I could hear her say that it was time to go.
「I’ll walk you downstairs.」
I offered as she grabbed her coat and bag.
「It’s really cold today. You don’t have to.」
「It’s fine. I’m coming right back up anyway.」
I pulled a down jacket from the closet and slipped it on, and Sendai-san gave a small nod, saying, “Okay, let’s go then.”
We made our way down the hallway of the apartment building and stepped into the elevator.
When we opened the door to the outside, a cold gust of wind rushed in. I reflexively pulled my neck in, hearing a voice from behind me.
「It’s so cold…」
When I stepped outside, the cold hit me harder than I had expected. I couldn’t see my breath, but the sun and clouds could still be seen in the distance. The pale blue sky stretched endlessly, like an iceberg looming overhead, and just looking at it made me shiver.
「Here’s fine. Thanks for letting me stay over yesterday.」
Sendai-san tucked her hands into her coat pockets and took a step back.
「I’ll get going now.」
Usually, we’d part ways like this, and I’d head back upstairs to my apartment.
But this time, before she could walk away, my hand moved on its own to grab her arm.
「Miyagi?」
I didn’t have anything to say, really. My hand had just acted on its own, and now, I was at a loss for words. I just stared at Sendai-san, not wanting to let go.
「I’m going to be late for prep school, you know.」
Sendai-san pulled her hands out of her pockets, then took hold of my hand, still resting on her arm.
「Didn’t you say you were going to be late?」
「Yeah, so I’m leaving now.」
She said, sounding as if she were about to turn away, but she didn’t—nor did she let go of my hand.
「I guess the next time I’ll see you is when the new year comes, right?」
Sendai-san murmured as she tightened her grip on my hand.
「Yeah, that’s the plan. I’ll let you know when I need you to come over and help me study.」
「Okay.」
She let go of my hand with that simple response.
Sendai-san was always so unkind.
I’d always known that, but to her, things like studying and prep school were far more important to her—at least more so than I was. Now, she was about to leave me here in my apartment, alone again.
「I’ll see you later, then.」
She began walking away, her figure retreating.
「Yeah, see you.」
I waved my hand weakly in reply.
As her back grew smaller in the distance, a sense of isolation crept over me. I was used to being alone, but the idea of returning to my room—where Sendai-san had kept me company the whole time—felt overwhelmingly depressing.
Ave Lilium Translations 