I had expected Miyagi to be gone by the time I woke up.
Still, for some reason, I felt surprised when I saw she wasn’t there anymore.
It didn’t make me sad to wake from my light sleep to an empty room, nor did I wish I could rewind to the moment before I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.
I slowly sat up and glanced over at the table.
There was a half-eaten cup of yogurt there—proof that Miyagi had been in my room earlier.
I felt like she could’ve at least woken me up to say goodbye before leaving. Or, if she didn’t want to do that, even leaving a note would’ve been enough.
Miyagi couldn’t even manage something that simple. She wasn’t the type to check in on me when I was sick, yet she had done so like any normal person. So, like any normal person, she should’ve told me when she was leaving, but she didn’t. Miyagi was always behaving in these strange, unpredictable ways.
I peeled the cooling patch from my forehead and held it tightly in my hand.
It wasn’t cold anymore.
Just like how Miyagi had been slightly warmer than usual today.
I crawled back under the sheets, coughing softly.
The patch in my hand made me think back, and as I closed my eyes, my thoughts wandered to the disappointment I had felt over missing school before Miyagi came.
◇◇◇
I wish I could go back to school already.
If I’d been able to go today, I wouldn’t have had to reply to Miyagi’s message with,
『I caught a cold and took the day off from school, so I can’t make it today.』
It was sinking in now—I wouldn’t be able to go over to Miyagi’s place.
The truth hit harder as I lay in bed, stuck at home with my mom.
It felt suffocating, like I might stop breathing at any moment.
My mom never came into my room unless she needed something. Even now, with a cold, that didn’t change. She did the bare minimum for me and then stayed away.
It wasn’t like I wanted her to be kind or ask if I was alright, but the indifference in her eyes made me compare myself to my older sister.
Whenever my sister got sick, my parents were more──
Old, buried thoughts started to creep back in.
I really wished I hadn’t gotten sick.
It felt worse now that my fever was going down.
When I was really sick, at least I couldn’t think straight. My mind was too foggy for those depressing thoughts to take over. But after the medicine lowered my fever from 38 degrees to 37, my ability to think returned.
It would’ve been nice if my head was filled with positive thoughts, but instead, the negativity crept in, dragging me down into a dark place. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from sinking into that bottomless swamp.
It was always easier to fall than it was to get back up, so whenever I thought about my sister, I couldn’t help but compare us, which only served to drag my mood down. These pointless thoughts in my head were now spiraling out of control, leaving me feeling more depressed.
As I lay under the covers, I touched the pendant Miyagi had given me.
My fingertip traced the chain over my pajamas, feeling the moon-shaped charm.
In moments like this, I should just think about Miyagi.
Whenever I was in her room, I could forget about my family.
I wonder if I’ll be able to go back to school tomorrow?
I pressed my hand to my forehead. It still felt warm, so I reached for my thermometer.
When I checked my temperature, I found it was slightly higher than before.
Nothing good ever came from being caught in the rain.
Before the start of summer break, Miyagi had wanted me to take off my uniform when it got soaked.
That incident was probably what sparked the wicked feelings I had for her.
After catching a cold, I was stuck taking a few days off from school. Now, I was lying in bed, lost in pointless thoughts and using them as an excuse to think about Miyagi.
This wasn’t doing me any good.
I rolled over in bed, shutting my eyes tight.
I didn’t feel like sleeping, and even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to.
I didn’t have the energy to pick up a book or study, and I couldn’t be bothered to answer the texts I’d gotten from Umina and the others either.
Time felt like it was dragging on forever, and tomorrow seemed impossibly far away. The house was so quiet, it was hard to tell if anyone else was even home, though I wouldn’t have been surprised if my family had gone out without me.
I stretched and curled up again, the rustling of my pajamas and sheets reminding me that time was, in fact, still moving.
I wanted to hear more sounds, so I strained my ears. That’s when I noticed the faint sound of someone walking up the stairs.
── Is that Mom?
I tensed up.
There was no reason for her to come up at this hour, but no one else would be walking upstairs.
‘What a pain,’ I thought.
The footsteps faded, and someone stood outside my door, but there was no knock, no opening of the door.
I listened carefully, my breathing distracting me, so I held it in. Suddenly, a loud thud hit the door. It wasn’t a sound I’d expect from anyone in my family. I sat up quickly.
What was that?
I waited, but nothing followed.
After that strange thud, there was only silence, leaving me uneasy.
It couldn’t have been my mom. She wouldn’t knock like that.
So, who was it?
I quietly got out of bed and opened the door.
「… Huh? What are you doing here, Miyagi?」
What was she even doing here?
Miyagi never came to my house. She wasn’t the type to drop by uninvited, and I hadn’t asked her to come, either.
「I was just about to leave.」
Miyagi said bluntly before turning her back towards me.
「Wait, what’s going on?」
「It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.」
She took one step, then two, then three. Without looking back at me, Miyagi started walking away. I instinctively stepped into the hallway and grabbed the hem of her uniform.
There was no way she was here for “nothing.” Seeing her in my house, someone who rarely ever came over, felt like a big deal. It must’ve been the same for her too. This was only the second time she’d ever come by, and since we weren’t even friends, it couldn’t have been for “nothing.” She knew that as well, which was probably why she was in such a hurry to leave.
「Even if you tell me not to worry, it’s too strange to ignore. There’s no way you’d come all the way to my house if it was nothing, right?」
Seriously, what was going on?
Unable to comprehend what was happening, I looked around and noticed there was something that hadn’t been there before.
「Wait, what is this? Were you the one who brought this, Miyagi?」
I asked as I pointed at a white shopping bag – probably from the convenience store or the supermarket – hanging from the doorknob.
「That’s for you, Sendai-san.」
「… Thanks. But if you were the one who brought this bag, does that mean you came all the way here just to check up on me?」
「No, not exactly… 」
「So, you came to see me anyway? Even though that’s not the reason?」
Given the situation, it seemed obvious that she was here to check on me, but she wouldn’t admit it. Instead, she stood silently in the hallway.
「Well, just come in for now.」
My mom rarely came upstairs, but it would be annoying if she saw us standing there. I took the white bag off the doorknob and headed back into my room, pulling Miyagi by her uniform along with me. She followed and closed the door behind us, and I let go of her uniform.
Back in my space, I felt more at ease, knowing the outside world—my mom—was on the other side of the door. But then I started to feel self-conscious. I was still in my pajamas, with no makeup on, and my hair was probably a mess. It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to be seen. On top of that, my voice sounded hoarse, much worse than I wanted it to be.
I placed the bag down beside my bed.
Miyagi was so dumb for coming to visit me without even letting me know. I hadn’t even had time to change, and now she was inside my room. I wanted to put on something else, but Miyagi didn’t seem to care about how I looked as she curiously glanced around my room like it was her first time here.
Then, I suddenly realized──
I almost gasped.
My piggy bank, where I kept all those five-thousand-yen bills, was out in the open. Of course, Miyagi didn’t know what was inside, but just having it there felt like I’d left myself exposed, so I started talking as if to hide it.
「You can sit over there, Miyagi. I’ll bring you something to drink.」
「There’s food and something to drink in the bag I brought.」
I opened the bag after hearing her mention it, and sure enough, there was food and a drink inside. There were even cooling patches for my forehead. I was surprised Miyagi had thought to buy something like this. In situations like this, I would’ve expected her to say, “I didn’t know what to get,” and fill the bag with completely useless stuff.
Never did I think Miyagi could be this considerate.
However, there was only one plastic bottle in the bag.
「Still, let me bring something for you to have.」
「I don’t need anything. You should rest since you’re sick. I’ll leave soon.」
「You’re going to leave soon?」
「I can go right now if you want.」
Nothing about this was surprising. We didn’t have the kind of relationship where we’d check up on each other when someone missed school, and if she stayed longer, she might catch my cold. Considering what has happened between us and what might happen between us, it was probably best to let her go.
But she’d shown up when I was bored out of my mind.
If I let her leave, time in this room would slow down again.
I sat on my bed and looked over at Miyagi.
「I’ve already slept too much, so I don’t think I can sleep anymore. How about you keep me entertained with some conversation?」
「There’s nothing for us to talk about.」
「We don’t have to talk, then. Just stay with me a little longer.」
「How’s your temperature?」
Miyagi asked quietly.
「I’m still a bit feverish.」
「You should cool your head down. I brought something you can use in that bag.」
She pointed at the bag by my bed.
I knew she wanted me to put the cooling patch on myself. But if she’d gone through the trouble to buy it for me, why not take responsibility for it?
「Put it on for me, Miyagi.」
Just yesterday, there’d been a box of cooling patches sitting outside my door.
When I was a kid, my mom used to apply them for me, but now she just left them in the hallway, and I never used them. The box disappeared a few hours later, and none were outside my door today.
But the one Miyagi brought had made it into my room.
「Just do it yourself. You might be sick, but you can handle that much, can’t you?」
Her cold tone stung.
Miyagi was always like this, but it didn’t make it easier to hear.
She could at least take responsibility for the patches she brought into my room.
「Aren’t you a little too cold to someone who’s sick?」
「You still have a fever, so me being cold is perfect for you, don’t you think?」
Her voice didn’t soften.
Even with a sick person in front of her, Miyagi was acting as indifferent as ever.
She was so distant, it made me question why she even came to check on me.
「You could at least listen to me for today, can’t you?」
I pulled the box of cooling patches from the bag and tossed it at Miyagi, who was still standing.
We weren’t in Miyagi’s room now.
This was my room, and a five-thousand-yen bill held no weight here.
Miyagi couldn’t give me orders, but I could make requests.
Of course, there was no guarantee she’d agree to them.
「You could’ve hurt me with that.」
Miyagi frowned as she looked at the box that had fallen by her feet.
I probably looked the same way yesterday when I found that box outside my door.
「You put it on for me. Since I’m sick and all.」
Miyagi didn’t budge.
She kept staring at the box on the floor, her expression unreadable.
My fever made the silence unbearable. Maybe it was because I kept insisting on her putting the patch on me, like a child, that the room felt awkward now. It had been a bad idea to ask. I didn’t usually rely on Miyagi like this. I should’ve just stuck the patch on, let the fever cool, and return to my usual self.
Never mind, I’ll just do it myself.
I wanted to say that, but before I could, Miyagi bent down, picked up the box, and came towards me, and that part of me that wanted to lean on her resurfaced.
「You can sit here if you want.」
I patted the spot next to me, but she didn’t sit. She stood there, her brows furrowed.
「Miyagi, come sit down.」
I said it a bit more firmly this time, and, with a reluctant look, she sat down next to me and opened the box of cooling patches.
「Okay, I’ll put it on right now, so turn and face me.」
She said softly, pulling a patch from the box. I did as she asked and turned to face her. Our eyes met, and suddenly, it didn’t feel like I was in my uncomfortable house with my mom anymore. It was like I was back with Miyagi, during our usual after-school hours.
It was different from when she came here in the summer. Maybe it was because I’d been trapped in this stuffy house for three days, but now, with her here, my room felt like a comfortable space.
Miyagi reached out her hand.
Just as her fingers moved to brush aside my bangs, I caught her hand.
The cooling patch fell on the bed, and I pulled her towards me.
I knew she was just trying to move my hair and place the patch on my forehead.
But I wanted to kiss her.
I wanted to be closer to her, to make my room feel even more comfortable. So I pressed my lips against hers.
Her lips weren’t warm, but they weren’t cold either.
It didn’t matter, though—it felt good.
I parted her lips with my tongue, slipping inside.
Miyagi didn’t resist.
She quietly accepted my kiss.
I was worried she might catch my cold, but I didn’t want to stop.
Our tongues intertwined, and I let her warmth sink deep into me, making her presence feel even more tangible. Kissing her made the loneliness of the past few days melt away, and I wanted to kiss her even more.
I pressed my lips harder against hers.
As the kiss deepened, she clutched my pajamas, and we slowly pulled apart.
「… That wasn’t an invitation for a kiss.」
Miyagi said, clearly annoyed.
「But you’re the one who came closer, Miyagi.」
「I didn’t move closer to you. Look, you made me drop the cooling patch. Don’t do anything like that again. That kiss felt gross.」
She had sounded so much warmer before the kiss, but now her voice was cold again.
「Couldn’t you be nicer about it? That hurt.」
The fever was making me act strange. With my mom just beyond the door, I was already tense, and now Miyagi’s words cut deep.
「No, and if you’re bothered by what I said, then don’t pull something like that again.」
The cooling patches I hadn’t used yesterday.
The way things had changed from when I was a child.
Miyagi, who had come to my room, where I wouldn’t even invite friends over.
On a day like today, where the past and present collided, I didn’t want Miyagi, who gave me a place to feel comfortable during our after-school hours, to be so cold.
Ever since my family stopped caring about me, I spent my time here pretending I didn’t care about anything, but today, I couldn’t ignore it.
For some reason, memories of the past wouldn’t leave me alone. Things I usually brushed off felt overwhelming.
That’s why I wished Miyagi had been a little kinder today.
At least while we were here, in my room.
Ave Lilium Translations 