「Hey, Onee-chan. Can you tell me more about Sorahashi-san?」
「Sure thing. Let’s see…」
I learned about how she actually liked books, about how she had a sensitive tongue, and all sorts of other stuff. I honestly didn’t care much for any of it, but she talked about every little thing as if they were precious treasures. It made me think of when I found that collar in her treasure chest.
I had just looked in there on a whim to check on what was inside, but finding the collar had surprised me so much that I had ended up taking it. In that moment, I was so jealous of Sorahashi Sera.
The fact that her treasure chest, which was originally meant to carry only objects related to me, had a memento of Sorahashi Sera placed into it might have been Onee-chan’s answer to my question. She probably hadn’t even realized it herself. But I could tell how she felt about Sorahashi Sera. She was in…
My chest felt tight. It was as if I had forgotten how to breathe. But it would be okay. I could still smile. No matter the situation, I was able to be the person I wanted to be. I’d grown strong, after all.
「Ahaha. Onee-chan, you love Sorahashi-san a lot, don’t you?」
「Love…?」
「Am I wrong? I mean, I haven’t ever seen you this happy before.」
「Um…」
Her cheeks slightly flushed. It was such a pure, innocent reaction.
I couldn’t stand it.
To imagine you leaving my side — No, absolutely not. Never. Why couldn’t you just stay with me? Look at me and only me. Let me keep being your one and only special someone. That’s what I wanted to say. But unlike before, it didn’t seem like I could just toss all my emotions at her.
She had changed.
She was no longer the Onee-chan I once knew. And I was no longer the Mizuki she once knew.
「You’re so insensitive to your own feelings, Onee-chan. Why don’t you try being more honest with yourself? You don’t need to worry so much about everyone else anymore.」
「You might be right.」
「Mhm. I’ll be okay now. I can get by on my own now, even if you’re not there to keep an eye on me. …It would make me lonely, though.」
The spot next to her had once been a special seat reserved just for me.
But even though we were sitting right next to each other at this very moment, the one by her side was now someone else.
Ugh.
I felt like if I wasn’t careful, I’d burst into tears. This last year had all been for nothing, and in the end someone else had stolen away that special place next to Onee-chan. Just thinking about it pained my chest. My heart ached so much, as if a large hand was squeezing tight on it. It was almost as if it could burst.
In that instant, I felt the touch of something warm.
And for a moment, I didn’t know what it was or where it was reaching.
I could faintly make out Onee-chan’s scent. It was so sweet, so gentle, so soft. Just like Onee-chan herself.
Before I knew it, I found myself with my head cradled on her chest.
As soon as I realized this, I felt a warmth spread all throughout my body.
「I’m sorry, Mizuki. For never realizing how you felt.」
「O-Onee-cha…」
「Thank you for loving me. And I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to be someone you weren’t. I just assumed all on my own that you didn’t like me anymore — that you had closed your heart off to me. I just assumed all on my own that you had changed.」
She said quietly.
I hated this.
How could she be so direct about this sort of thing? I hated it so much. I wished she would just say she didn’t need me anymore — that she couldn’t understand me at all, and just reject me entirely.
From now on, what was I supposed to do?
There was no way I could ever fall for anyone else. No way I could ever love anyone else. And she was such an idiot for not understanding that.
「You told me before that I’ve changed, but… Yeah, you’re right. I hadn’t even realized it, but I have changed.」
「So insensitive.」
「Sorry. …Mizuki, you’ve grown so much. Really, you’re so much bigger than you used to be. I was so focused on how you were before that I hadn’t even noticed.」
「Of course. I’m right here.」
「Mhm. You’ve always been right by my side, haven’t you, Mizuki?」
She stroked my head. The gentle touch of her palm made my heart ache. Onee-chan had changed. But even so, her kindness remained.
Up until now, the one who had received the most kindness from her had been me. But from now on, surely…
I bit my lip.
I didn’t want to look any lamer than I already did, so I stopped myself from crying.
「Mizuki. I…」
「Don’t say it. I can already tell.」
「…Okay.」
She was in love with Sorahashi Sera.
That truth was plainly clear to me. I’d never imagined this day would come. But in the end, Onee-chan, too, was just a normal girl. Of course she’d eventually fall in love with someone.
I couldn’t say anything else. I didn’t feel like I could get myself to put up a cool front or even smile. So, I just stayed silent, continuing to let her hug me and stroke my head.
Honestly, I couldn’t really remember the taste of the cocoa that I drank after that. But the sight of Onee-chan’s cool, serious profile was something that I’d never forget.
After taking our break, we walked around the mall a little more before heading out. The sun was already starting to set, and it was colder than it had been in the afternoon. We walked together along a familiar path while holding hands.
The sky seemed further away than it was during the summer.
Maybe it felt that way because the clouds were thinner now, or something like that.
Not really getting it, I continued walking down the street. At some point, I let go of Onee-chan’s hand and put my foot on a white line.
「There’s this one game we used to play, where you had to stay on the white line or you lost.」
「We did, didn’t we? You used to be so energetic.」
「Ahaha. There was never a dull moment. I always had so much fun because you were with me, Onee-chan.」
I walked along that white line, taking every step with care. The scenery around us has changed since back then, but my feelings for Onee-chan remained the same.
At the end of this white line was our house. Up until now, it had been like our secret base, but now it was a home for our family. I no longer looked forward to going home because I couldn’t be with Onee-chan when I got back.
I continued walking along the line, following behind her. Eventually, we reached the front of our house. She held out her hand to me. I took it, taking a step forward from that white line.
「Welcome home.」
She said.
「I’m back.」
I answered.
As she was about to enter the house, I pulled her back.
「…Mizuki?」
「Just one last thing.」
I took a bottle of perfume out from my bag, spraying it on her a bunch of times. The smell of lemon tea spread all around the air. Still, I kept spraying — a second time, a third, and a fourth. She stared at me with wide eyes. Finally, this perfume that I had bought back when I’d decided to get stronger was now all gone.
「It was about to run out, so I wanted to share some with you.」
「Th-thanks…?」
There was no point in marking her anymore.
It would have taken me a very long time to use it all up by myself. But because I’d used so much on Onee-chan’s clothes, it had all disappeared in a flash. It had been pretty expensive, though.
I gave the bottle a little shake and put it back in my bag.
Somehow, I felt like it was over. I wasn’t sure if “it” was my feelings about the perfume or my feelings about something else, though.
It wasn’t a particularly refreshing feeling. Rather, I felt this constant sting in my chest that I couldn’t do anything about. But I figured it couldn’t be helped. I’ve always loved Onee-chan ever since the day I was born, after all. The only one I’ve ever loved was her. There was no way my feelings could change that easily.
Regardless, I supposed I had to keep moving forward — just like she was.
「Onee-chan. I’m sorry for being so cold to you up until now.」
「No, don’t be. That was because you were trying your best, weren’t you?」
「Mhm. I was working so hard because I wanted you to rely on me. But I’m gonna stop doing that now. I’m not gonna try so much anymore, because that’s not me. That’s okay with you, right, Onee-chan?」
「That’s right. I love you just the way you are, Mizuki.」
I smiled.
「I love you too, Onee-chan. I love you so much.」
「Mizuki…」
「Alright, Onee-chan. Mom and Dad are probably home already. Let’s walk in together with a smile. Like sisters should.」
「…Hehe. Of course.」
With her hand in mine, we pushed open the door.
「We’re baaack.」
「We’re home.」
To walk back home together, hand in hand, and have our parents welcome us home — it was something so normal, so obvious. But for us, it wasn’t normal at all. Rather, it was quite a rare experience. But from now on, little by little, it would start to become part of our daily lives too.
I smiled at Onee-chan.
She smiled back at me.
And just ever so slightly, that eased the pain in my heart.
Ave Lilium Translations 