The next day, just as I’d told her, I went to go check on Meguru-chan in her classroom during lunchtime. I wolfed down my own meal and went over to the floor where the first-years were. I tried my best to be inconspicuous. I knew she said it’d be fine even if people found out about us, but I still was worried about the worst-case what-ifs.
It almost felt like I was some sort of spy. My mission: to covertly investigate the status of Year 1, Class 1. Let the operation comme—
“Wait, are you Amanone Sakoto-senpai?!”
“Oh my god, no way!”
“Why are you here? Wait, don’t tell me you want something from yours truly?! I’m one of the class reps, what do you need?!”
Bzzt! Mission failed!
Within just a few seconds, I was already being hounded by three fans from the first-years. What was I thinking? Between my fame and my looks, of course it was impossible to infiltrate in secret! All I do is stand out! Man, that’s just so rough!
Alright, self-esteem fully recharged. Jokes aside, I knew this was going to happen. This is where it was time to get serious.
“There’s a first-year I’m kinda curious about, so I couldn’t help but come over to check them out, hehe.”
I said, looking a little embarrassed. This was a little something I called “Deliberate Embarrassment” – one of my “Amanone-Style Secret Techniques for Coolness” that I’d personally developed while training myself for a princely life! Most of these students had the idea that people as cool as me were brimming with confidence. And so, this was a gentle technique that aimed to put an appealing contrast on display through an intentional act of shyness. It was especially useful for getting people to agree with a request. It had to be used sparingly though, because it was possible to just end up with a reputation for being shy. To truly be effective, it had to ultimately be for the purpose of coming off as cool.
And what do you think would happen if a first-year student with weak defenses was hit with this technique?
“KYAAA!”
“Go ahead, check out wherever you want! Every last bit!”
“We’ll strip for your inspection. From now on, the first-year uniforms will be birthday suits.”
This is the result.
“Thank you, but please keep your clothes on…”
It was an apocalyptically terrifying technique that could turn this setting into the world of an R-18 hypnosis manga.
…But, you know? After all that with Meguru-chan, it felt refreshing to see girls reacting to me the way that I expected them to. Good! I’m still super cool! …And thankfully, I didn’t say any of that hypnosis stuff out loud. In fact, I think the class rep that said something about taking her clothes off is worse than me. I came across students like that once in a while. My apologies for being a shameless prince that led these young ladies astray.
Okay, in any case, now that I had an excuse, I confidently strolled down the hall. There was a refreshing atmosphere here. The second-years were already used to the high school life, but it was clear that these newer students still saw these mundane moments as something special. Their voices still had a particular excitement to them. I quickly walked forward before the news of a second-year being in this area spread around. And now, it was finally time for—
“Is your business with Class 1? By the way, I’m the rep for Class 2, so I’ve got some pull.”
The class rep asked, still following me.
“So you’re one of those types that still thinks being class rep gives you real authority…”
I mused.
Eventually, I arrived at my target classroom. I showed up without telling Meguru-chan in advance because I wanted to see how she was normally. But was she even in here? I peered into the classroom from outside.
“Ah.”
I spotted my girlfriend’s figure almost immediately.
“Hey Meguru, look at this dance. Isn’t it cool?”
“Lemme see. …Yeah, that’s super cute! I haven’t done any dancing in a while, but I kinda wanna try this one.”
“Wait, Megurun! I wasn’t done with my story!”
“Mhm, what were you saying again? Something about some weird religion?”
“ Yeah, I’m super into the Flying Spaghetti Monster[1]!”
“Megumegu!! Look, I think I can get this next math question right! Can you teach me how to do it?!”
“Of course, as long as you don’t mind improving your chances of getting it wrong!”
She sat right in the center of the classroom, happily chattering away as she stored her empty lunchbox. And what’s more, she looked like she was at the top of the pack. There were a ton of students all around her, insisting on getting their turn to talk to her. Some of them seemed to be pretty intense, but Meguru-chan was perfectly maintaining harmony in the group by skillfully tailoring the attitude of her responses to each person.
She was clearly at the center of attention. It was almost like the space around her was shining. I see. …She hadn’t been exaggerating when she said she was popular. Well, in the first place, she made herself way more approachable than I did. Plenty of people said I was intimidating, to the point that even most of my classmates wouldn’t openly start a conversation with me…
Well, all that aside, I had achieved my goal. She was also right when she said that it’d be fine if people found out about us. Now all I had to do was swiftly sneak away… But, I mean, the way she behaved with her classmates was so different than how she was with me. I ended up thinking to myself that it’d be a shame to take my eyes off her, so I took another moment to watch. And because of that…
“Hmm? Sniff sniff… I can smell Amanone-senpai.”
She suddenly exclaimed.
“Wha-?!”
She turned her head to meet my gaze.
Uh oh. She noticed me! Wait, Hold on! What do you mean, smell?! She noticed me because of my SMELL?! I’m keeping my distance, so how?! Is she a dog for real?!
…Wait. Do I stink…?
Okay. Calm down, Sakoto. Times like these are when it’s most important not to panic. I’ve run the simulations. Even if it’d be okay for people to know about us, there wasn’t any particular reason to broadcast it. To keep the peace, I just had to flash a quick smile like a celebrity, leave, and run off to buy a bottle of perfume and chug the whole thing. Oh, wait, not chug. I meant bathe in. I’d never used perfume before because nobody ever said anything about how I smell, but it’s not like that’s something that a lot of people would actually bring up. I could take this opportunity to do something about it. I was afraid I’d come off as a bit cold to Meguru-chan, but I’d just explain over the phone later.
…Do I really smell that bad?
“Ah! I knew it! This wonderful smell belongs to Amanone-senpai!”
“Oh, thank god! Thank you so much!”
I exclaimed with relief.
“What?”
Before I could think about anything else, I ended up diving headfirst into the classroom and taking Meguru’s hands, as if in prayer. …I just couldn’t help myself. I mean, it wasn’t that I smelled bad. Rather, it was the opposite. Phew. Thank god.
Alright, now what?
I noticed then that the lively classroom had already fallen into complete silence.
“KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”
The silence was shattered by deafening cheers.
“That’s Amanone-senpai, isn’t it?!”
“And she’s holding hands with Meguru…”
“Omigosh omigosh it’s like a scene right out of a manga!”
“W-wait, is the person you’re interested in Hanabana-san?!”
And within a matter of moments, students from other classes had begun to pour into the room. We were completely surrounded. For the time being, I let go of her hand, struck an over-the-top pose, and put on my best determined face. And just at that…
“KYAAA!!!!!”
The excitement in the room rose even further. Sorry, Meguru-chan…
“Senpai! Thank you so much for coming! I’m so happy that you remembered!”
Oh. I guess even though I was apologizing in my head, she seemed right at home. She’d said as much, after all. She might have a stronger mental game than I imagined… so I have to get my act together too. There’s no escaping now, so I have no choice but to satisfy them with my words – or else this would blow up into a whole scandal. I have to calm them down. I have to protect Meguru-chan no matter what. It’ll all be okay. If the two of us work together, then we can make it happen!
I made eye contact with her, trying to signal that we should cooperate to get out of this situation.
“Hm?”
Maybe not.
“Hanabana-san?”
Someone’s voice directed a question at Meguru-chan.
“Oh, you’re the Class 2 rep! Still as powerful as ever?”
“Of course I am.”
It seemed like Meguru-chan knew this girl too, even though they were in different classes. She really was quite the social butterfly.
“Um, can I ask you something?”
“Of course!”
“Thank you. So then… What’s your relationship with Amanone-senpai?”
That’s so straightforward! But maybe it was better than indirect probing. If we could give her a good answer here, then we could turn the situation on its head. It was time to put my well-honed speaking skills to good use. Leave it to me, Meguru-chan. I made eye contact again with her again, signaling that I wanted to field this one. She happily nodded back, seeming to understand this time.
Alright, let’s do this.
“Meguru-chan is—”
“Amanone-senpai is my girlfriend!!”
She swung back with the force of a home run?!?
“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”
The loudest cheers of the day erupted from all over the classroom, leaving me totally stunned. Uh, Meguru-chan? Aren’t you jumping the gun a little? I wanted to cool things down, but isn’t this just heating it up instead?
I came to realize at this moment that eye contact was too unreliable a method of communication. …Everyone’s suspicions had been met with confirmation, and this press conference room had exploded into a frenzy.
“Wait, did you know about this?!”
“No, of course not!”
“That’s how it is in all-girls schools, I guess…”
“I can smell the lilies in the air.”
“But wasn’t Amanone-senpai supposed to not be dating anyone?!”
“She was stolen away by a first-year!”
There were all sorts of reactions coming from every single direction. Everyone was surprised, of course, but not all of them were happy about it. What’s more, I even heard voices that sounded like they belonged to students above Meguru-chan’s grade. Crap…I couldn’t hide the impatience on my face anymore. But—
“Hehe! Bring it on!”
She had proudly puffed out her chest. Was this girl invincible? Seeing her confident demeanor, the questions just started flying at her one after another.
“How long have you been dating?!”
“Two days!”
“Wait, that recently?! How did you get together!?”
“A rooftop confession!”
“A head-on confrontation… so brave!”
“Hmph!”
Even this time, when I had tried to answer the question, Meguru-chan had stepped forward as if to say “leave it all to me” and responded with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. What even is this? It’s like I’m the modest girlfriend and Meguru-chan’s introducing me to all her friends, isn’t it?!
“Alright, how’d the confession play out?”
W-wait! Not that!
“Well, you see…”
“I asked her to be my female!”
I hastily interjected, stepping ahead of Meguru-chan.
“WHAAAT?!”
This time, rather than cheers, these sounded like the voices of someone trying to hold back their voice but being unable to any longer. Haah, haah, oh dear, that was close! If Meguru had gotten it out first and everyone realized I’d accepted the confession after hearing that, my cool persona would have crumbled to pieces!
“Female, she said!”
“By female, she means it like that, right…?”
“So bold…”
I could hear them whispering all among each other. …I was in a rush to respond, so I’d just borrowed Meguru-chan’s words, but… wouldn’t admitting to confessing in a way like that make me a weirdo? Or was it just me? Whatever. Now that things have turned out like this, I have to go on the offensive. I’ll push through by pure force of will. I learned from Meguru-chan’s confession the coolness of such a display of force. And of course, I myself am cool as well. In other words, there’s no wall I can’t punch through! With enough momentum, I can solve any problem! Time to get this show on the road!
“Wait, but Meguru-chan was the one that called you out to the roof, right…?”
“I looked right into her eyes and knew right away she was the one, so I pushed her against the wall to let her know I wouldn’t let her get away.”
“KYAA!!!”
“That’s so assertive! I don’t think I’d mind having a senpai like that at all…”
Ha. Haha. That’s it! I gotta keep this up and break on through!
“Okayokay, then Meguru, how’d it feel when the senpai you were trying to confess to did that to you?!”
Damn, they’re swapping over to her again?! Surely having come this far, she’d understand what I’m going for, right?!
“Well, you see.”
Yeah, that’s the spirit, Meguru-chan!
“I asked that senpai to please be my female and pushed her against the wall!”
WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!
I’d get it if she were just confused, but why was she conjuring a switch up out of thin air?!
“Huh? What?”
“Wait, so like, a role reversal type of deal?”
“Is this pro wrestling?”
See?! Nobody knows how to react! Oh my god what do I do? Seriously, what do I do? Oh, right, now that I’ve lost the lead, I have to take it back!
“W-well, after that, instead of slamming her against the wall, I slammed her crotch!”
“KYAA!!”
“That’s so wild!”
“My heart’s racing just thinking about it!”
Ha ha ha. Now I’ve taken the lead again. I should take a moment to calm do—
“And then I slammed hers!”
MEGURU-CHAAN!!!
…I’m crying inside.
“Th-they were kicking each other?!”
“Yeah, this is totally pro wrestling.”
“A rooftop steel cage death match?! …I don’t know what’s happening anymore.”
Damn, I lost the lead again… How would I turn things around from here?! You’re incredible, Meguru-chan, to have pushed me into a corner like this… I expect nothing less from my girlfriend.
…Wait, why was I trying to assert dominance with my girlfriend? I finally came to my senses. I had only intended on taking a quick peek into the classroom, but… what in the world was I doing? The packed classroom had now filled with an indescribable atmosphere. However…
“…Maybe I’m just jealous at how much you two love each other.”
Someone suddenly chimed in.
“Haha! That’s so true!”
“In a way, they’re kinda in sync.”
“They might be a good match for each other!”
As soon as they heard the first comment, similar ones began to pour in. Huh, what’s going on?
“Congratulations, Meguru!”
“Mhm, thank you!”
“You’ve hooked in a real big one!”
“And she’ll be real delicious!”
“Okay, wait, let’s not with the weird responses!”
It kinda felt like some super emotional background music had started to play. …Just as I was about to tilt my head in confusion, unable to keep up with everything, I began to hear voices directed at me as well.
“Congratulations to you too, Amanone-senpai!”
“Huh? Oh, thank you?”
“Meguru says some weird stuff sometimes, but she’s a good girl. Take good care of her, okay?”
“Yeah, tell me about it…”
“Wow, so you already know all about her! Of course you would, Amanone-senpai! You’re so cool!”
Sorry, but I don’t know a single thing going on in that head.
And finally, everyone clapped. Are you all okay? You don’t think this was just a nice little sparring bout, do you? You’re not being tricked by our show of force, right? Well, I guess if they’re receiving our relationship with open arms, then this all ended up being a happy little mistake. …Hold up. Wasn’t I the one who started this? And given how it all turned out… I’d say my efforts were a great success.
Wait, was Meguru-chan just keeping things going by deliberately going against me?! I began to connect the dots in my head. Maybe she actually… Yeah, this is Meguru-chan we’re talking about. My widened eyes looked over to her, who was now messing around with her friends. And at that moment, as if to congratulate us too, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch break.
“That’s not it at all!”
After school that day, we went to meet up in the prep room, where she promptly shut down my theory. Then, I collapsed right onto the table with an audible flop. Rumors had spread all over the school in a flash. Even though people usually just admired me from afar, I could already no longer count how many times I’d been approached about Meguru-chan. It was the same for her, so it ended up being pretty late by the time we could both make it here.
Interestingly, the majority of the comments we received were positive. It seemed that all the negative opinions had been quelled by the knowledge of our clear, outspoken affection for each other. The state of things had made me so impressed with Meguru-chan — so in wonder at her incredible intelligence — that it had given me goosebumps. But it seemed like the truth of the matter was completely different.
“Senpai, even I was surprised when you just blurted out something that was completely false!”
“Uh… sorry about that. …I just got caught up in the moment.”
“Yeah, and I didn’t want to lose to you, so I fought back!”
“Wait, isn’t that weird? Why didn’t you want to lose?”
“I wanted you to see me as someone reliable!”
“Huh?”
Now that was unexpected. So she wanted me to see her as reliable. …Was that kinda how like I wanted to be seen as cool? She seemed to be at the center of attention in her class, so I supposed it made sense for her to feel like she needed to have those leadership skills. So tiny, but so impressive…
“That was thoughtless of me. I didn’t realize that’s how you wanted others to see you. I’m sorry…”
Moved by her intentions, I sincerely apologized.
“Ugh, gosh! The person I want to think of me that way is you, Amanone-senpai!”
“Wait, me?”
Another unexpected turn, leaving me quizzically tilting my head.
“Yes! So, Amanone-senpai, I want you to rely on me, let me spoil you, and show me how cute you can be!”
What??? I couldn’t understand what she was saying. My neck was already reaching the limits of its range of motion.
“Hmm…? I’m getting the feeling you still don’t follow… In the first place, Senpai, why did you even lie?”
“Guh.”
Hearing that question made me feel weak.
“Well, you know how I’ve got this cool image, right? I thought that if they found out what happened during the confession, it’d ruin that image…”
“…… I see…”
This was really embarrassing to say out loud, but I felt guilty, so I came clean. Meguru sat her hand by her chin and began thinking deeply with a serious-looking expression on her face.
“What are you like, Amanone-senpai?”
“Huh?”
“Are you cool?”
I didn’t understand. And yet… strangely enough, my heart began to stir. I gulped unconsciously.
“…W-what does that mean? It’s kind of awkward to be calling myself that, but that is my image. So yeah, I’m cool.”
“Your image and persona are things determined by the judgement of the people around you. You have good looks, so if you act cool, then you’ll have a cool image. But what I want to hear about is not what other people think of you, but your actual personality.”
“………”
I couldn’t find the right words. No matter how hard I thought, I even couldn’t tell if the cogs were spinning or if they had grinded to a halt. It was as if something was holding my head still from behind, and all I could do was look down.
“Seenpai!”
Just as the mood began to turn awkward, Meguru-chan called out to me in an awfully happy voice.
“I see I still have a chance! I’ll do my best!”
“A-a chance? I mean, of course you do. We’re dating.”
“Yes, absolutely! That’s exactly right! What am I even saying?! Ahaha! Oh, also, also! We’ve officially gone public now!”
“Ah, yeah, you’re right.”
“Everyone’s been celebrating with me. I’m so happy!”
She said to me with visible delight. I bet if she had a tail it’d be wagging like crazy. …Was she trying to improve the mood?
…Oh, right.
“Meguru-chan.”
“Yes! Um…”
“It looks like I had the wrong idea, but you really saved me back there. You cleared up all my worries, and I even received a bunch of congratulations. Thank you.”
I patted her head in gratitude. This conversation had been going back and forth in different directions, but I at least had to convey this properly.
“Ehehe…”
She looked like she was feeling a bit ticklish, but she was grinning with joy. We had met up late though, so it was already time to go. We left the room and headed over to the gate. …On the way there, I thought about that question again.
Are you cool?
That was supposed to be my purpose in life. But when I was asked that straight to my face, I couldn’t say yes. It was behavior that was out of character for me, and I wanted to forget all about it. That being said… I didn’t think I’d be forgetting it at all. It was probably something important.
Right after saying our goodbyes, I remembered one more thing of key importance.
“Hey, Meguru-chan.”
“Yeah?”
“Do I smell bad?”
“Not at all!”
Thank god.
[1] The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the official deity of Pastafarianism, a religion created in the early 2000s to satirize faith. Notably, Pastafarians end their prayers with “Ramen” instead of “Amen” and wear colanders on their heads.
Ave Lilium Translations 