We left the apartment in a hurry.
We walked down the street where I sometimes ran into Cali, heading toward the station. I matched Miyagi’s pace even though she was walking pretty fast.
「Come on. Hurry up, Sendai-san.」
「There’s no need to rush. We’ll be fine.」
I’d changed into different clothes to hide the new mark Miyagi had left on me and touched up my makeup a little. I’d also put some light makeup on Miyagi. Because of that, we’d ended up leaving later than planned.
「But what if something goes wrong?」
Even though it was mostly Miyagi’s fault that we’d left late, she seemed to be in a bad mood and kept walking ahead of me. We were still going to make it on time even without rushing. Even so, the distance between us slowly grew.
Maybe I’d done something wrong.
Was it because I’d put makeup on her? Or because I’d said she looked cute? Or because I’d kissed her after that?
Or maybe it was all of the above.
Miyagi kept walking without turning back.
I brushed my fingers over the red mark on my neck through the knit sweater covering it.
Autumn was coming to an end, and the wind had been getting colder, but today was warm enough that I wanted to wear something other than a turtleneck. If Miyagi hadn’t left a mark on my neck, I wouldn’t have had to hide it.
But even if it had been visible, the mark would fade eventually, so I was happy she’d left another one on me, even if it wasn’t something that should’ve been there in the first place.
I pressed my fingers against the mark through the sweater, then let my hand fall.
I watched Miyagi’s legs and the skirt swaying in front of me.
Right, left, then right again.
Her legs moved at the same steady pace.
She didn’t slow down at all.
I looked up at the blue sky, thin clouds stretching across it, and remembered the penguins at the aquarium—how they’d looked like they were flying through the air when I’d seen them with Miyagi.
Come to think of it, we still hadn’t gone to the zoo even though we’d said we would during the fall.
The sky felt farther away than it had in summer.
If we didn’t go soon, it would be winter. Miyagi was sensitive to the cold, and there was a good chance she wouldn’t want to go then.
I quickened my pace and caught up to her.
「Miyagi, do you remember our promise to go to the zoo together?」
She stopped suddenly.
「… You’re such a liar, Sendai-san.」
「Huh?」
「It’s already winter.」
「It’s not winter yet, but I’m glad you remember we said we’d go in the fall.」
I’d never heard her mention the zoo once since then, so I’d thought she might’ve forgotten. Realizing she hadn’t made me happy—happy enough that I almost wanted to skip all the way to the station, though Miyagi’s mood seemed to be the complete opposite.
「You seemed to have forgotten about it, though.」
Miyagi said, her voice lower than before.
「I wouldn’t forget something like that.」
I really hadn’t forgotten. I just hadn’t had the chance to ask her to go to the zoo together. We’d celebrated both of our birthdays, then I started a new part-time job that took up most of my days off, and university gave me more things to deal with too. My schedule slowly filled up, and before I knew it, autumn was almost over.
「Well, it can’t be helped. You had work, after all.」
Miyagi’s legs, visible beneath her skirt, started moving again. She took one step, then another, leaving me behind, so I quickly started walking again too.
「I know. I’m sorry about that.」
「That’s not something you have to apologize for, is it?」
Miyagi spoke without hiding her dissatisfaction at all.
「So, is that promise still valid?」
「Do you still want to go, Sendai-san?」
「I do, but when would be the best time for you?」
「Spring.」
I knew it, I thought, but it was better than her saying no. That felt like something she would usually say.
「Okay, let’s go in the spring, then.」
If we were going to go, it would probably be during spring break. If possible, I wanted to visit the aquarium again too.
We arrived at the train station without running into Cali and went through the ticket gates together. As we walked to join the crowd on the platform, Miyagi softly called my name.
「Sendai-san.」
「What’s up?」
「Would you really be willing to go in the spring?」
「If you’re okay with going in winter, then maybe we should do that instead. There will probably be fewer people, so it’ll feel like we can take our time, right?」
「I don’t want to take my time walking around when it’s cold.」
「If that’s the case, maybe it’s better not to go in winter, then?」
「… Let’s just make sure we go on a warmer day.」
She replied quietly, and I answered before she could change her mind.
「Okay. Then a warm winter day.」
Miyagi didn’t respond.
She didn’t say whether it was okay or not, but if she didn’t want to go, she would have said so. Her silence was probably her way of accepting it.
Winter break would be fine. Before it or after it would be fine as well.
I imagined wrapping a scarf around Miyagi, making her bundle up, and going to the zoo together.
If we weren’t at the station, I would’ve sworn it on Miyagi’s earrings.
And if I were to kiss her ear for this promise, I wanted her to kiss my ear in return. I wanted Miyagi to tell me she wanted to keep the promise too.
「It’s a promise, then.」
I said, and instead of a kiss, lightly tapped the back of my hand against hers. Miyagi still didn’t answer, but since she didn’t reject me, that was enough for me.
When we reached the platform, the train arrived almost immediately, and we got on. We didn’t talk much, only a little about the school festival.
The train stopped every now and then, our conversation fading in and out, and time passed as our stop came closer. Outside the window, the scenery Miyagi always looked at flowed past. I’d seen it before, when she ran away from home and I went to look for her at the university, though back then I’d been too distracted to really see it.
I never want to go through that again, I thought.
I would much rather have Miyagi by my side.
We got off the train and walked along the platform.
There was nothing special about the scenery I’d seen through the window, or about the station itself. It was all ordinary, the same kind of view I saw on my way to my own university. Even so, I wished I could see the scenery Miyagi saw every day.
If only we’d gone to the same university and taken the same classes.
We could have spent even more time together than we did now.
How nice it would have been to spend four years together like that.
I held my neck, lost in a future that would never happen.
I couldn’t see my neck, but I could feel Miyagi’s trace, as if the red mark she’d left had taken root and sunk deep into me.
She’d left a mark that would stay for days, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t just want a trace of her. I wanted her warmth, her body heat, something hot and real enough to melt me to the core.
As we were heading for the exit of the station, I reached for Miyagi’s hand. I caught her fingertips, but she slipped away.
「What do you want, Sendai-san?」
I heard her ask in a low voice.
「I just wanted to hold your hand.」
「We’re almost at the place we’re supposed to meet Maika.」
「Yeah, I know.」
We were supposed to meet Utsunomiya at a bookstore near the station.
「Then we’re definitely not holding hands.」
I didn’t think we should be holding hands either. Even so, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to, even if it was only for a short while, just until we reached the meeting spot.
「Come on. There are plenty of other people around us holding hands, right?」
「Even if that’s true, I still don’t want to.」
Seeing two people holding hands wasn’t unusual. Even if Utsunomiya saw us, I doubted she’d suspect anything. Even if she thought it was a little strange, she wouldn’t be able to guess what kind of relationship Miyagi and I had. Besides, we really were just roommates.
We weren’t friends or lovers or anything like that.
We were just roommates.
— Miyagi wouldn’t allow us to be anything else.
「Miyagi.」
As we passed through the ticket gates, I reached for her hand again, but she managed to slip away immediately.
「Back off, Sendai-san.」
She said it as she pushed me away, harder than I expected.
「Hey, that’s dangerous.」
I stumbled slightly as I said it, and then I heard a bright, cheerful voice.
「Looks like I just caught a perfect shot.」
I turned toward the sound and saw Utsunomiya holding up her phone.
「Huh? Maika? Weren’t we supposed to meet at the bookstore?」
Miyagi sounded surprised, nothing like the displeased tone she’d had earlier. Her reaction made sense though, given that Utsunomiya had shown up somewhere other than our agreed meeting spot.
「Well, I figured you’d be around here by now, so I thought I’d meet you here instead. Then I saw you two fooling around, so I got curious about what you were up to.」
「We weren’t up to anything. And did you just take a picture of us?」
Miyagi asked, and Utsunomiya grinned.
「I sure did. I’m thinking of titling it ‘Miyagi Shiori’s True Self.’ So, what were you two arguing about?」
「We weren’t arguing about anything. Sendai-san was just being mean.」
Miyagi said, slapping my arm where I stood next to her, her voice masking the dissatisfaction she felt. Then, another shutter sound followed.
「And that’s another one for the collection.」
「Come on, that’s enough pictures, Maika.」
「Taking photos right before a school festival feels kind of nice, though. Maybe I’ll title this one ‘Miyagi Shiori Strikes Sendai Hazuki‘ and send it to Ami or something.」
Utsunomiya held up her phone to show us the picture she’d just taken.
It was a photo of me and Miyagi, with part of the scenery she always saw behind us.
Seeing that scene on Utsunomiya’s phone felt strange. Miyagi and I had never taken pictures of each other, or even together.
「That’s just going to cause trouble for me. If you send that to her, I’ll resent you for the rest of my life.」
Listening to Miyagi’s voice, I started to resent my past self.
Why?
Why had I never taken a picture of Miyagi before?
Why hadn’t I realized how easy it was to keep a piece of her?
Utsunomiya wasn’t the only one who could do that. I could see Miyagi whenever I wanted, too. All I needed was a phone, yet I’d never once used it that way.
If I could go back in time, I’d take a picture of Miyagi smiling at the aquarium, and another on her birthday too. There were so many sides of her I wanted to capture.
「Oh no, what ever should I do?」
I heard Utsunomiya chuckle, clearly enjoying herself. I let out a small sigh.
Alright, play it cool. Just ask like it’s something normal, like plans for tomorrow.
With a smile, I said the words that would get me what I wanted.
「Hey, Utsunomiya. Could you send me those pictures later?」
「Sure. I’ll send them right now. I’ll send them to you too, Shiori.」
Utsunomiya said and immediately sent the photos over.
I looked down at my phone and stared at the two pictures she’d taken earlier. One showed a sullen Miyagi pushing my arm away. The other captured Miyagi forcing a smile as she slapped my arm.
「Thanks.」
I said with a smile. Miyagi thanked her too, though hers sounded a little reluctant.
「By the way, do you two have any other pictures together? I’d love to see them.」
Hearing Utsunomiya’s cheerful question, I glanced at Miyagi. She didn’t look like she wanted to answer, so I did it for her.
「Well… we haven’t actually taken any pictures together.」
「What? Why not?」
「I’m not really sure. There’s no particular reason.」
Back in high school, we didn’t have the kind of relationship where we took pictures together. And now that we were in university, I’d been so focused on just being with her that the idea of taking pictures had never crossed my mind.
「Alright. That’s enough talk about pictures. Let’s go.」
Miyagi said, like she was urging us on. She grabbed Utsunomiya’s hand and pulled her along, without taking mine.
「You don’t need to rush so much, Shiori.」
That’s not fair, I thought as I watched Utsunomiya get dragged along.
「Come on, Sendai-san. Hurry up.」
Miyagi called out to me, and I sighed.
We never got to hold hands. Even so, I’d managed to get another treasure in exchange.
I slipped the phone that held a piece of Miyagi’s time into my bag and followed after the two of them.
Ave Lilium Translations 