Plates of no-bake cheesecake and glasses of iced tea sat on the table in front of me.
Sendai-san didn’t always go out of her way to buy dessert for us, but it seemed she had today.
She sat diagonally in front of me, her back leaning against her bed.
「What’s the occasion?」
I asked as I stroked the head of the platypus tissue box that now lived in her room.
Honestly, I would’ve been fine eating the cake in my room, but somehow, we’d ended up in Sendai-san’s instead before I even had the chance to invite her over.
「Just celebrating the end of our exams.」
Sendai-san said.
“Let’s eat,” she added before picking up her fork, crumbling the top of her cake, and taking a bite.
「I’m glad our exams are over too, but is that really something worth celebrating with cake?」
「Even if it isn’t, doesn’t it make the cake taste better when you think of it as a reward for getting through something tough?」
「… You just wanted an excuse to eat cake, didn’t you, Sendai-san?」
「Well, that’s part of it. It tastes great, so you should have some too.」
Sendai-san smiled as she spoke, and I did as I was told.
“Let’s eat,” I said, taking a bite of my own cake.
The moist, smooth cream cheese and cookie dough base blended together in my mouth. The no-bake cheesecake came from the same shop Sendai-san had visited once before, and it had a refreshingly tangy flavor.
It hadn’t been long since we’d eaten dinner, but it was so good I felt like I could easily eat two or three slices.
「Do you like no-bake cheesecake, Sendai-san?」
There were only two slices of no-bake cheesecake in the box today.
The last time she’d brought cake, there had been four different slices. She’d let me have the no-bake cheesecake and shortcake, while she took the baked cheesecake and strawberry tart that were left.
「Yeah, I do.」
「Do you like no-bake cheesecake or baked cheesecake more?」
「I’m fine with either. You like no-bake cheesecake more though, right, Miyagi?」
「I do, but…」
Last time, when I’d asked which cake she liked most, she’d said baked cheesecake and strawberry tart.
But since she bought two no-bake cheesecakes today, I couldn’t help but feel she liked them more than she was letting on, though she didn’t seem like she wanted to admit it.
「What other kinds of cake do you like besides cheesecake?」
Sendai-san asked back, neatly dodging my question as always.
Even if I asked her the same thing in return, she’d probably just give me another half-hearted answer.
I wanted to know what kind of cake she actually liked most, but I didn’t want to keep pressing her.
「Something that isn’t too sweet.」
I said, swallowing down the unnecessary words that threatened to escape my throat.
「Yeah, it’s easy to get sick of something when it’s too sweet, huh.」
Sendai-san said, gulping down her iced tea.
Everything always felt so complicated with her.
I couldn’t even get an answer to something as simple as which cheesecake she liked better.
Even ordinary things—like whether she had a crush on someone, something friends usually talked about—remained unknown to me.
My desire to know more about her swelled like a balloon, but I couldn’t bring myself to hand that balloon, filled with all my questions, over to her.
「Oh yeah, Miyagi.」
Sendai-san said suddenly, clapping her hands together as if she’d just remembered something.
「What are your plans for summer break? Are you going home?」
「I’m not going home, but I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.」
Summer vacation was starting in just a few days, and it was going to be even longer than our breaks during high school, yet I had absolutely nothing planned.
「Then how about we do something together? You’re not going to hang out with Utsunomiya anyway, right?」
Sendai-san said casually, mentioning Maika’s name.
Ever since Maika came over, it felt like the two of them had grown closer. Sometimes, they’d bring up each other’s names in passing, as if it were completely natural.
「How do you know that?」
「Utsunomiya told me she was going back to her hometown for summer break. She said she’d be staying there for a while—unless her plans have changed?」
「… No, they haven’t. She’s not coming back until September.」
When Maika had visited the other day, she and Sendai-san got along so well that it wouldn’t have been strange if someone told me they’d already been friends for a while. I’d even thought it’d be nice if the three of us could become mutual friends, but I hadn’t realized they’d gotten close enough to talk about their summer plans.
「I see. In that case, that means you’ll have plenty of free time, right?」
Sendai-san smiled.
It was true—I really was going to have a lot of free time.
I didn’t mind the idea of spending time with her during summer break, but I didn’t want to say that out loud.
Her knowing Maika’s plans so casually left a strange, heavy feeling in my chest—like the lingering sweetness of an overly sugary cake.
I wanted to know how close they were, and what kinds of things they talked about.
As far as I knew, the two of them had never hung out alone before, but would that change in the future?
I wanted to know, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
It felt wrong to pry that deeply into Sendai-san’s social life, and it wasn’t something I should be asking in the first place.
I broke off a big piece of cheesecake and took a bite. A refreshing tartness spread through my mouth, but the cream cheese, which should’ve been light and smooth, felt heavy in my stomach.
「Come on, let’s go somewhere together over summer break, okay?」
Maika was my friend, and that wouldn’t change even if she grew closer to Sendai-san, but a part of me didn’t want them to.
「I might not have any plans for summer vacation, but I still don’t want to go anywhere.」
「You really like staying indoors that much?」
「It’s too hot out, and it’s not like there’s any reason to go outside anyway.」
That wasn’t what I really wanted to say.
Because Sendai-san was getting too close to Maika, everything started to bother me, and it felt like nothing was going right.
The things I wanted to ask kept circling in my head, but I couldn’t form them into words.
This was all Sendai-san’s fault.
It was because she spoke about Maika so familiarly.
Maika was my best friend—someone special to me—and I didn’t want Sendai-san getting close to her. I hated the idea of Sendai-san taking Maika away from me.
… No, that wasn’t it.
I’d never cared who Maika spent time with before. But when it came to Sendai-san, everything turned into a mess.
— I…
What I actually hated was the idea of Maika taking Sendai-san away from me.
I didn’t want the two of them getting any closer than they already were.
Even if they did and became good friends, that was all it would ever be. Maika would never touch or kiss Sendai-san, and Sendai-san would never touch or kiss Maika.
What I had with Sendai-san was different. I was her roommate—the only one who lived with her.
I knew that, and yet the moment Sendai-san’s attention drifted even slightly toward someone else, unease crept in.
「Well, if that’s how you feel, then I’m fine with just watching movies at home with you.」
Sendai-san said, her voice breaking my thoughts.
Not wanting to look at her, I glanced down at her plate, but her cheesecake was already gone.
I cut into my own cake and took a few more bites.
Even though I was eating cake, it felt like I was just chewing on dirt.
「Are there any movies you want to watch?」
Sendai-san asked in a soft, gentle voice.
I felt like I was making an unpleasant face—my brows probably furrowed, my eyes full of irritation.
「You can choose, Sendai-san.」
I said coldly, taking a sip of iced tea.
It was probably about time for me to head back to my room.
I finished the last of the cake and put my fork down.
But before I could stand, Sendai-san grabbed the hand I’d left resting on the table.
「Was the cake not good, Miyagi?」
What she said and what she did didn’t match at all. There was no reason to grab my hand just to ask something like that, and yet she did.
She was always like this—doing things without a reason.
And whether or not there was a reason, her touch felt soft, warm, and comforting.
Whenever I touched Sendai-san, I felt relieved knowing her attention was on me. It made me forget about Maika.
I wanted to feel more of Sendai-san.
It had to be Sendai-san. No one else would do.
But I didn’t want to make her someone “special” to me.
The only thing that was supposed to be special between us was our relationship as roommates.
We were sharing an apartment under the promise of staying together until graduation—a promise we hadn’t made with anyone else. But even so, this “special” relationship had an expiration date.
If I let myself make her truly special, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to graduate at all.
「I’m going back to my room.」
I said.
I tried to pull my hand away, but she wouldn’t let go. I glared at her, and she smiled back.
「Why not stay a bit longer? We don’t have any more exams, so just relax.」
「I want to go back to my room, so let go of me.」
「I’ll let go if you say you’ll stay a bit longer.」
Sendai-san was always mean like this—but I didn’t want her to be like that today.
If she kept holding my hand, I felt like I’d lose myself.
「I’m not doing that.」
I said, trying harder to pull away.
「That’s dangerous, Miyagi. You might knock something over.」
She said, but she still didn’t release me.
Her grip even tightened, and I could feel her warmth more clearly. That warmth made me want to touch her even more.
「Sendai-san.」
I called her name, but she still wouldn’t let go.
If that was how it was going to be—
I sat up on my knees.
Since she was holding my hand for no reason, there didn’t need to be a reason for what I was about to do either.
I pressed my lips against hers. The moment our warmth met, I felt something softer than her hand. Sendai-san immediately kissed me back firmly. Before long, I pulled away, and she finally let go of my hand.
「You kissed me so I’d let go, right?」
Sendai-san asked without hesitation.
Making a trade with her hadn’t been my intention, but I didn’t bother correcting her. If she wanted to think it was a trade, then so be it.
「No, it wasn’t for that.」
I said firmly.
「Then what do you want me to do?」
She asked.
I took a breath, exhaled, and moved to sit beside her.
「You once requested something from me here, didn’t you?」
「I did?」
She said, puzzled.
「You asked me to let you get away with what you did to me, remember?」
I wasn’t about to let her pretend she’d forgotten the reason that led to Maika finding out we were roommates. I remembered everything that happened in this room that day—and I doubted I’d ever forget it.
「… Yeah, I remember.」
Sendai-san mumbled, which was rare for her.
「I still haven’t gotten you back for that.」
I couldn’t ask her the things I really wanted to know, but I could touch her. That went to show just how much we’d gotten used to touching each other.
「What do you mean by that?」
She asked.
I broke eye contact and sighed. I felt like I couldn’t continue with what I wanted to say while looking at her straight in the eye.
「I listened to your request back then, so now I want you to listen to mine.」
My desire to know more about Sendai-san had taken a turn I never expected, as if a hidden switch had been flipped inside me. But she was the one who’d connected that circuit by holding my hand, and it was her own fault for not letting go sooner.
「Do you want me to do what I did to you again?」
「No. This time, I’ll be the one doing it to you, Sendai-san. I want to see how you’ll become when I do—so show me.」
If I touched Sendai-san the way she’d touched me—
If I could hear the kinds of sounds she never let anyone else hear—
Then maybe, no matter how close she got to someone else, or how many things she chose over me, I wouldn’t feel so uneasy.
I knew I shouldn’t touch her while feeling like this, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Sendai-san had settled herself deep at the center of me, and my emotions were drawn to her, helpless like leaves carried into the heart of a whirlpool.
「… What brought this on all of a sudden?」
Sendai-san asked, watching me closely.
「Like I said, I just want to see how you’ll become. If you don’t want it, you can say no. But if you refuse, then I’ll never let you do anything like that to me again.」
When our eyes met, she was looking at me with a serious expression on her face.
Ave Lilium Translations 