Before going to the lecture hall, I stopped in the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.
I took the lip balm Sendai-san had given me out of my bag.
The moment I removed the cap, a sweet scent rose up and brought back the dream I’d had this morning—of me calling Sendai-san “Hazuki” and pulling her toward me.
The feeling of her soft and smooth skin came back so vividly, it felt indecent, and I shook my head hard.
‘It’s only on my mind because I had the same dream twice so close together,’ I thought to myself as I stared into the mirror at my bare lips.
I traced them lightly with my finger, and it felt smooth all over.
They didn’t seem to be chapped at all.
I stood there, debating whether to use the lip balm or not.
After a small sigh, I bit my lower lip, closed the cap, and slipped it back into my bag.
I only ever used the lip balm at university, since I knew if I applied it at home, Sendai-san would definitely say something annoying.
But today, I didn’t feel like using it at all.
After having that strange dream, the sweet scent only reminded me of kissing Sendai-san—and all the things that came after. I didn’t want that dream to take up more space in my head than it deserved, and I didn’t want to get caught up in it any more than I already was.
All of it—every bit of it—was Sendai-san’s fault.
I turned my back to the mirror and headed for the lecture hall.
Maybe because summer vacation had lasted so long, it still felt like summer even though it was already October. It wasn’t hot enough to need the air conditioner, but some days were still warm, and sometimes I found myself craving ice cream—which probably reinforced that feeling.
Even at university, I still couldn’t get rid of that summer vacation feeling. All I wanted was to laze around at home or go see the penguins at the aquarium again.
Still in a daze, I walked down the hallway, opened the door, and stepped into the lecture hall. It was about two-thirds full and buzzing with noise. I looked around, searching for Maika, and spotted her right away.
「Good morning.」
I greeted her, and she replied, “Good morning,” as I sat down beside her.
「Oh? I see you’re not wearing your lip balm today,」
Maika said casually when she looked at me.
「Yeah.」
I replied.
Since the lip balm had been a gift from Sendai-san, I’d been making use of it.
The first time I wore it, Maika had asked if I was going somewhere special, and I’d said no. But after that, wearing it became normal for me.
I appreciated that it didn’t look out of place when I wore it anymore, but it was annoying that not wearing it did.
Even when she wasn’t around, Sendai-san was still interfering with my life.
「That lip balm looked really nice, though. Totally feels like something Sendai-san would pick.」
「You think so?」
「Yep. It suits you, Shiori. Maybe I’ll have her pick one out for me sometime too.」
Maika, wearing a nice-looking lip balm of her own, said cheerfully.
I knew at a time like this, I was supposed to say something like, “Let’s all go shopping together sometime,” or, “Feel free to come over if you want,” but part of me didn’t want to say any of those things.
I didn’t want Maika to meet Sendai-san.
That feeling was too strong to ignore.
Sendai-san had turned me into someone narrow-minded. Someone unable to do or say things that should’ve come naturally between friends.
It felt like my mouth had been glued shut.
But if I stayed quiet, Maika might end up texting Sendai-san on her own, and the two of them might actually go shopping for lip balm together, and just imagining that made my stomach churn.
I clenched my hand tightly beneath the desk. My nails dug into my palm, but I kept my hand closed anyway.
Then Maika suddenly spoke up, like she’d just remembered something.
「Hey, Sendai-san’s birthday is in August, right?」
「Yeah, it is.」
I replied, slowly opening my hand.
「What sort of things does Sendai-san like? It doesn’t have to be an object—maybe a person or place or something?」
「Cats, I guess?」
「Oh, cats! Right, you did mention that you guys went out of your way looking for one once.」
「Yeah, she really seems to like them a lot.」
“I guess I should buy her something with a cat design next year!”
Given where the conversation was heading, it felt like Maika was about to say something like that, so I cut in before she could get a chance to.
「Maika, do you want to grab dinner together before going home today?」
Maika and Sendai-san were close enough to keep in touch, so it wouldn’t be strange for Maika to give her a present, or even give it to her without telling me. I knew it shouldn’t matter, but I didn’t want to hear any more about it.
「What about Sendai-san?」
「She has work.」
「Oh, you mean her new job at that café?」
「Yeah. She said she’d be home late today.」
I figured if I stayed home alone, I’d just end up overthinking things, so I’d rather spend time with someone else.
「Sendai-san’s pretty amazing, huh? Working two jobs. I always thought university students had tons of free time, but I guess that’s not true.」
「I don’t think it’s necessary to work so much, but she said she also wanted to work two during winter vacation as well.」
「Sendai-san’s completely different from how I imagined her in high school. I never would’ve pictured her working as a private tutor, let alone juggling multiple jobs. If anything, I thought she’d be spending all her time in some club or going out with people.」
「Yeah, I get that. Ibaraki-san and her group seemed like they’d be into that sort of thing.」
Maika nodded in agreement.
Back then, Sendai-san had always been with Ibaraki-san—who liked to stand out a lot—so I ended up assuming she was the same.
But that old image of her was long gone now.
The Sendai-san in my mind had been reshaped into someone only I knew about.
「Oh, what if we ate at the café where Sendai-san works, then?」
「What? Why?」
Maika’s sudden suggestion caught me off guard.
「Well, I kind of want to see what Sendai-san’s like at work. Don’t you want to see her too, Shiori?」
I did want to know what she was like while working.
But it wasn’t something I had to see.
Besides, if I saw her workplace for myself, I’d probably end up wanting her to quit even more than I already did, so I couldn’t bring myself to go.
「I haven’t even asked where she works yet.」
「In that case, let me ask her. I bet she’ll respond before classes are over today.」
Maika said, pulling her phone from her bag, so I quickly cut in.
「Wait, I actually had a place I wanted to go already.」
「Really? Where?」
「You know, that café Asakura-san told me about the other day.」
I mentioned the name of someone I’d become friends with not long after starting university.
「Ohh, the one with the cute ice cream floats?」
「Yeah, that one.」
「I’ve been wanting to try that place too. Okay, we’ll visit Sendai-san some other time, then.」
Maika said, and a moment later, the door opened and the professor walked in.
Class was about to begin, but I couldn’t focus at all after talking about Sendai-san. She took up so much space in my head that nothing the professor said could fit anywhere, and I couldn’t even bring myself to write anything down.
Unlike with her tutoring job, I could see her working at the café anytime.
That thought had crossed my mind a few times before, and Maika bringing it up only reminded me of it again. Even Sendai-san had invited me to come see her sometime.
But just thinking about seeing Sendai-san spending her time somewhere else—and knowing that time didn’t belong to me—made my heart sink.
Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, I pushed the thought of her working out of my mind—only for it to be replaced by the dream I’d had this morning.
I wondered if Sendai-san ever had dreams like that too.
And if she did, how did she picture me in them?
Lately, I’d been thinking about things I’d never thought about before.
In the end, I couldn’t focus on any of my classes. By the time the day was over, Maika and I went to a café together—one that wasn’t the place where Sendai-san worked.
While Sendai-san was at her shift, Maika and I talked about trivial things. I didn’t know what Sendai-san’s café served, but the one we went to had cute ice cream floats, just like Asakura-san said, and the food was delicious. It was fun spending time with Maika. That hadn’t changed, even if Sendai-san was working somewhere else.
Time passed quickly, and eventually Maika and I went our separate ways.
When I got home, I turned on the lights in the shared living space and sat down in a chair.
Sendai-san still wasn’t home.
I already knew she’d be home late, but the fact that she wasn’t here yet still irritated me.
My head had been a mess all day today.
And it was all because of Sendai-san.
I should’ve been used to being alone by now, but I wasn’t used to her being away. I should’ve been used to people saying they’d come home and then not showing up, but even though I knew Sendai-san would come back for sure, I still couldn’t help feeling anxious. I’d been enjoying myself earlier, but just remembering that she was still at work made my mood sink.
I took the lip balm out of my bag and set it on the table.
「… Hazuki.」
I said out loud, knowing no one else was home.
Hurry.
Come on, hurry up.
Hurry up and come home already, Sendai-san, I thought to myself.
Ave Lilium Translations 