I glanced at the exam papers scattered on my desk.
The results weren’t too bad.
In fact, they had improved.
Still, I doubted they were enough to get me into the same university as Sendai-san. I’d agreed to let her, who was supposed to arrive any minute now, see my scores, but she’d probably think the same.
The university she had set her sights on was already far beyond my reach. A bit of extra effort wouldn’t bridge the gap, so these scores felt like what I deserved.
There was no reason to feel down about it, and it didn’t bother me much. My mood was a bit dampened, though. Probably because of the awful weather outside.
I glanced out the window.
The rain that started earlier in the afternoon was still coming down.
The sky was dark, casting a gloomy air.
Sendai-san had told me she would be running a bit late today, so she hadn’t shown up yet.
To pass the time, I picked up my phone and started flipping through a digital pamphlet of some university.
I sighed as I scrolled through the pages.
It wasn’t even for the school I wanted to attend, but for Maika’s. By now, I had gone through it so many times that I was very familiar with what was written in it.
It wasn’t as hard to get into as the university Sendai-san was aiming for, but if it had been just a little while ago, my teachers would’ve discouraged me from even considering it. Now, though, it was a school I didn’t want to give up on without at least trying to apply. Plus, it was really close to the university Sendai-san was trying to get into.
I still had time to apply.
It’s not like I had to only apply to local schools.
I kept flipping through the pamphlet, reaching the last page before closing it. Looking at it wasn’t going to change anything, but I decided to open the pamphlet for the university Sendai-san was aiming for. I had read it over several times before, and nothing in it was going to be different today, so I skimmed through a few pages before closing it halfway.
I put my phone back on my desk.
I pulled out one of the two erasers sitting in my pencil case—the one Sendai-san had gone out of her way to return to me at school.
The number of memories I had with Sendai-san had grown, and some of them became things I would look back on.
The necklace that wasn’t in my hands anymore that I had given her before our midterm exams was another thing that would become a memory.
―― Not that any of this was a good thing.
What happened that day was etched in my mind. It wasn’t something I’d ever turn into an anniversary, but it was an event that would stay with me for a long time.
If memories were to be left behind, they should stay with Sendai-san alone.
But if something was significant enough to stay in her memory, it would stick with me too. Whether or not there were physical reminders, traces of Sendai-san were steadily growing within me. Even a single eraser had been imbued with her presence.
I hadn’t meant to collect this many memories of her, but somehow, I kept doing things that made it happen. I wished I could get rid of the part of me that wasted time on things like browsing pamphlets for schools I couldn’t even hope to attend.
I shouldn’t have called Sendai-san over today.
I let out a sigh, knowing it was too late to change that now, just as the intercom rang.
I already knew who it was without needing to check.
I returned the eraser to my pencil case and answered the intercom, unlocking the door. Not long after, Sendai-san entered my room.
「It’s really cold today.」
Sendai-san, who was usually more sensitive to heat, said as she sneezed.
「Is it still raining hard?」
「No, it’s just a light drizzle now.」
「Your shoulders are wet. Here, hand me your blazer.」
I reached out, and she handed me her damp blazer before unbuttoning the second button of her blouse. I noticed the necklace she was wearing.
I felt the urge to touch the silver accessory, but instead, I took her blazer and hung it on a hanger before heading to the kitchen.
I opened the fridge and glanced at the kettle.
Once I made sure there was hot water, I grabbed a tea bag from the shelf and brewed some black tea. Afterward, I poured myself some soda from the fridge and went back to my room, where Sendai-san was sitting in her usual spot.
I set the cups down on the table.
「Is this black tea?」
「If you want soda, I can give you soda instead.」
「No, black tea’s fine. Thanks.」
Turning my back to Sendai-san, who seemed to be in a good mood, I reached for my exam papers on the desk. I didn’t really want to show them to her, but since I’d promised, I placed the papers on the table, along with a five-thousand-yen bill.
「Here.」
Sendai-san, who had been sipping her black tea, put down her cup and thanked me as she put the money away. Then, she picked up my exam papers.
「You’re letting me see your results?」
「Weren’t you the one who wanted to see them, Sendai-san?」
「Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually show me.」
「If you’re not going to look, then give them back.」
I reached my hand out, but she didn’t return my exam results, nor did she say a word.
Sendai-san simply stared at the papers in silence.
「Are you not going to say anything?」
「I thought you were the one who didn’t want me to say anything.」
She wasn’t wrong, but it was uncomfortable seeing her quietly look over my scores. It’d be frustrating if she picked apart each question, pointing out where I went wrong, but her silence made me anxious.
「At least say something.」
「I don’t know what your old scores were like, but this is a huge improvement, right?」
「Yeah.」
「Does this make you want to put more effort into studying?」
「No. I think I’ll have no problems getting into a university, so this is good enough for me.」
I said as I snatched my test results away from Sendai-san.
「Do you want to see mine?」
「I don’t care about your scores. More importantly, let me see the necklace.」
I tugged on her uniform as she reached for her bag.
「You know, when an accessory has a charm hanging from it, it’s actually called a “pendant.”」
「Does that really matter?」
「Not really. I guess it just comes down to personal preference.」
Sendai-san shrugged before glancing over at me.
「Well, go ahead, look all you want.」
Her voice sounded indifferent, but that was fine since she was still following my orders.
I reached out and touched the third button on her blouse, unsure if I was allowed to undo it.
At first, Sendai-san grabbed my arm, but she quickly let go.
Maybe that was her way of saying it was okay to unbutton it.
I wanted a better look at the necklace, so I undid the button. Her chest wasn’t too exposed, but I could see her undergarments. There was no way she’d let me touch that, so I focused on the necklace.
「That tickles.」
「Just deal with it.」
We had already returned the neckties we exchanged with each other.
She promised to keep wearing the necklace until graduation.
I gave the chain a gentle tug.
「Miyagi, you’re being too rough.」
「You talk too much, Sendai-san. Be a bit quieter.」
「Sure, sure.」
I traced the chain with my fingers.
This necklace was just a way to make our relationship easier to understand.
Lately, Sendai-san had been acting too selfishly.
She asked me to meet her at school and then forced kisses on me.
She kept trying to do things I hadn’t ordered her to do.
I didn’t mind kissing Sendai-san, but I didn’t like that she wanted to do it even though we were at school. Sendai-san was supposed to follow my orders, not make requests just because she wanted something. If there was anything we wanted to do, there needed to be a price for it, and I was the only one allowed to pay it.
By making her wear the necklace I gave her, I needed to make sure she understood that I was the only one allowed to give orders, and she had no choice but to obey me.
I didn’t know how effective a deadline set for graduation would be, but as long as she gave me her time for the next few months, that was enough.
During that time, there was no need for her to listen to Ibaraki-san or anyone else.
The only person Sendai-san needed to focus on was me, and I was the only one allowed to touch her.
「Are you satisfied now?」
As if tired of the silence, Sendai-san poked my forehead while I was still touching the necklace.
「Go ahead and button yourself up.」
「Not interested in any trades today?」
She had asked the same thing last time, when I called her over two days before our midterm exams.
Seeing she wasn’t in a rush to button up, I asked,
「Do I sound like I want to make a trade?」
「I thought you might be up for one.」
「I’m not. Now button up.」
I had no idea if Sendai-san was being serious about what she said. It felt like she was about to brush off her words as a joke and pretend it never happened.
Last time she was here, right before our midterms started, she had mentioned feeling like she was going to lose her mind, but that seemed like it was just a joke too. To begin with, there was nothing about me that could possibly make her lose her mind.
Besides, just a little while ago, Sendai-san seemed very much in control of herself.
She had always seemed like she wanted to kiss me, but she’d never been this insistent before.
「Miyagi, let’s make another trade today.」
「No.」
I refused, fully aware of what she was after.
I didn’t mind being kissed, but I was starting to hate that I felt that way at all. Kissing was fine as long as I was the one giving the orders, but I didn’t want to do it because I knew she’d probably say something like, “You want to kiss me so badly that you’re ordering me to.”
Plus――
If we kissed too much, I felt like she’d eventually grow tired of it.
I fastened the third button on Sendai-san’s blouse for her and gave her an order that was different from what she wanted.
「Read me a book.」
「What happened to studying?」
「I’ll study after you finish reading to me.」
Without offering her usual responses like, “Got it,” or, “Sure, sure,” Sendai-san silently stood up and moved toward the bookshelf.
「What do you want me to read you?」
「Pick something that you like, Sendai-san.」
「Something that I like, huh.」
She muttered before letting out a quiet sneeze.
「Are you coming down with a cold?」
「Just rumors about me going around, I guess.1」
Sendai-san replied indifferently as she came back with a manga volume in hand.
- In several cultures (including Japanese culture), there’s a widely believed superstition that if you sneeze, it means that someone is talking about you. Sometimes, depending on how many times you sneeze, you can figure out what that person is saying about you (e.g. if it’s something positive or negative). ↩︎
Ave Lilium Translations 