I spun my pencil between my fingers.
Miyagi kept her gaze fixed on her textbook, as if to avoid having to look at me, while she filled in her notebook.
I continued to twirl my pencil, but this time it slipped from my fingers and clattered onto the table. Miyagi, however, didn’t even flinch.
「Since we’re both just doing our homework anyway, why don’t you come sit next to me?」
I called out to Miyagi as I patted the empty space beside me.
「I’m not moving next to you.」
Miyagi answered without sparing a glance.
「Okay, how about I go over there instead?」
「No.」
「Are you ordering me not to?」
This time, when I asked, Miyagi looked up.
「I am.」
Her firm response left me unable to move a muscle.
Since it was an order, I had no choice but to accept it, and I turned my gaze towards my textbook.
I often found myself relying on these “orders” to save me. There were many times when I pressured Miyagi into making tough decisions, and on other occasions, I used it as an escape route. I was every bit as much of a coward as Miyagi said I was.
I didn’t have the courage to permanently alter our relationship that day, nor could I bring myself to go against her now. Most likely, Miyagi was refusing to sit next to me for the same reason, which explained the distance between us today.
「Sendai-san, I don’t get this part.」
「Where?」
I looked up at Miyagi, who spoke in an unfriendly tone while pointing at a section in her textbook with her pencil.
「Here.」
「It’s kind of hard to see from this side, you know.」
To be honest, I could read what Miyagi was pointing at just fine.
Reading numbers upside down wasn’t particularly challenging, so I took it as an opportunity to close the distance between us. But instead, Miyagi simply turned her textbook toward me without saying a word.
「You’re so stingy, Miyagi.」
I grumbled as I scribbled on her textbook – even though it hadn’t done anything wrong – but I quickly erased it.
「What part of this makes me “stingy”?」
「All of it.」
「Stop talking nonsense and just teach me how to solve this already.」
「Sure, sure.」
I gave a half-hearted response as I looked over at her textbook. I then began explaining the problem, writing the necessary formula in the margin of her notebook. Miyagi’s expression was hard to read; I couldn’t tell if she understood or was still confused as she wrote down the numbers and attempted the solution.
‘What if we had kept going that day?’
I had imagined countless scenarios over the past few days, but in the end, fantasies should stay as just fantasies.
I wasn’t naive enough to think we shouldn’t do those things unless we were dating, but if we had gone all the way that day, we wouldn’t be sitting here doing homework together like this. Thinking about it that way, I was glad we didn’t go any further. Being able to hang out and read books in her room was far better than risking it all for a one-time fling.
「Is this right?」
Miyagi looked up and asked after finishing the problem.
「Yep, you got it right.」
I said, glancing at what she had written in her notebook.
Miyagi’s gaze immediately dropped back to her textbook.
「Anyway, do you have any other orders for me, Miyagi?」
I had hoped that question would make her tear her gaze away from her textbook, but it was to no avail. She remained silent while wearing a frown on her face.
I could imagine why Miyagi wanted to keep her mouth shut, though.
If she issued any orders carelessly, it could bring up memories of what we did over summer break. Orders that were once inconsequential, like reading her a book or doing her homework, had evolved into something more dangerous. If she gave me an order like that now, it would seem like she was asking for a repeat of summer vacation. On the other hand, if she continued to invite me to her room without giving me any orders, there’d be no point in her paying me five-thousand-yen anymore.
Not that I needed the money or anything.
I could tell her that, but if I did, there’d be no reason for me to come over anymore, so I kept it to myself.
Miyagi, who was sitting in front of me, flipped through the pages of her textbook, as if searching for the right words to say. Naturally, she found nothing, so she lowered her gaze once again and muttered,
「Go home once you’re finished with your homework.」
「Is that really what you want to order me to do?」
「Yes.」
Miyagi replied, but it was obvious that it wasn’t what she wanted at all.
I could tell, since we’d known each other for a long time now. Miyagi was probably only saying that because she felt she had to.
「Give me a different order.」
「Why are you the one telling me what to do now, Sendai-san?」
「Because I can finish my homework in no time.」
I didn’t have much homework to begin with. I could finish it in an hour and still get home earlier than usual.
「So, are you sure about that last order?」
I asked, already anticipating that Miyagi would change her mind.
「… Do my hair for me.」
Miyagi mumbled under her breath.
「Huh?」
「You mentioned once that you’d do my hair for me.」
That must’ve been something I said a long time ago.
When Miyagi mentioned it, I quickly searched my memory. It was something I’d offered back when I was reading magazines for Umina around the time of our midterm exams.
「Sure. How do you want me to do it?」
Although I managed to recall what I said to Miyagi, I couldn’t remember what the girl in the magazine looked like at all.
「Anything’s fine as long as it doesn’t look weird.」
「What does that mean?」
「Just make sure it looks good.」
For someone who gave such a vague request, she sure wasn’t willing to come over to me.
She continued to stare at me while still seated across the table.
「Come here, Miyagi.」
Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed with telekinesis, and my arms definitely weren’t long enough to reach her from where I sat. If I was going to touch Miyagi’s hair, she’d have to come to me. That should’ve been obvious, but she still showed no signs of getting up.
「Do you seriously expect me to do your hair from all the way over here?」
I could go over to her instead, but I know she wouldn’t be happy about it.
「Miyagi.」
When I pressed her on it again, Miyagi reluctantly got up and sat next to me, though she kept a little distance between us.
‘Come on, there’s no need to be so cautious. It’s not like I’m going to do anything to you,’ I thought to myself as I took out my hairbrush from my bag.
「Face your back towards me.」
I moved closer to Miyagi and tapped her shoulder, causing her to flinch. Even so, she complied and turned her back to me. I gently ran my fingers through her hair, which fell just past her shoulders. This time, she didn’t flinch, but I could sense her tension from the way she held herself.
This is so awkward…
Just as she had said, she didn’t trust me. The tension around Miyagi was so thick, it started to make me feel nervous too.
「Your hair is so pretty.」
I offered a compliment, hoping to ease the awkwardness, even if just a little. That said, her black hair really was smooth and felt nice to the touch.
But Miyagi did not react.
All I could do was comb her hair in silence.
I still couldn’t recall what kind of hairstyle the girl in the magazine had, and Miyagi’s vague request didn’t help much either. So, instead of stressing over the details or trying too hard to figure out what she wanted, I decided to simply braid some of her hair.
「You’re going with braids?」
Miyagi asked, her back straight as she glanced over her shoulder.
「Yeah. Did you want something else?」
There were a lot of cute hairstyles nowadays.
I probably could’ve looked up some hairstyles that might suit Miyagi on my phone, but instead, I just kept braiding her hair.
「No, I’m okay with anything, but… this is different from what was in the magazine.」
Although Miyagi said she was fine with anything, her tone suggested otherwise.
「Don’t worry, I’ll make you look cute.」
I didn’t want to tell her that I couldn’t remember what the girl in the magazine looked like.
Besides, braiding Miyagi’s hair meant I could touch it for longer, which was something I was even less eager to admit.
「It’s okay even if you don’t.」
Miyagi said, turning to face forward. Then, she added,
「Look…」
「What is it?」
「I’m going to keep asking you to come over and continue giving you orders.」
「Yeah, I know.」
「And this is going to go all the way until we graduate, so make sure to keep coming over whenever I ask for you like you always have.」
For the first time ever, we were acknowledging when this would all come to an end.
I had always expected that my visits to this room would end once we graduated. Although it seemed like the right time to bring things to a close, for some reason, I felt a need to say out loud just how much time we had left.
「So that leaves us with another six months left?」
「Yeah. Until then, I own a part of your time after school.」
Miyagi said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The awkwardness in the air eased slightly, and about a third of the tension1 I had been holding in my back also faded away.
I undid her braids and then started re-braiding them.
Miyagi sat still without a single complaint.
Her smooth hair felt really nice to the touch.
The scent that tickled my nose was the same one I usually smelled on Miyagi’s bed. As if I was being drawn in by the fragrance of a shampoo that was different from the ones Umina, Mariko and the others used, I inched a little closer to Miyagi.
「Half a year left, huh… That’s pretty short.」
I mumbled as my fingers continued to braid her hair.
「It really is.」
Miyagi responded without any emotion in her voice.
- Just some fun trivia at this point, since I think the translation gets the point across fine, but in the original text, Sendai says, “[…] 背中にぴたりと張り付いていた緊張という文字が三分の一ほど剥がれる,” which kind of super roughly translates to, “[…] the tension that was embedded in my back has now been taken away by a third of what is in the characters used for the word ‘tension.’”
The word being used for “nervousness” or “awkwardness” or “tension” here is 緊張 (kinchou). It might look super complicated to write, and it kind of is. For example, the 緊 (kin) part itself is made up of three things that could be words on their own (臣, 又, 糸). What Sendai is saying here is that the tension she feels in her back has loosened by 1/3rd of what makes up the kanji, 緊張.
If anyone is interested in seeing the stroke order (how to write the word properly and how many strokes it takes to write it) for 緊張 (kinchou), click here. ↩︎
Ave Lilium Translations 