[Part 76] I’ll Be Fine Even If I Don’t Get To See Sendai-san (IV)

          Sendai-san never showed up.

          I hadn’t been waiting for her these past two days, but she never stopped by my classroom once during the cultural festival.

          ‘Maybe I should pay your class a visit,’ she’d joked the last time we met, but I knew she wasn’t the type to go out of her way just to see me, which was why I hadn’t expected her. But now, with the festival over and the cleanup finished, I couldn’t help but think that, in the end, she hadn’t come.

          Still, I had fun at the festival this year.

          Maika, Ami, and I wandered into the first-year classrooms, places we usually had no reason to visit, and we watched some performances in the gym. Running a café was a hassle, but I’m sure I’ll look back on it fondly someday. Everything I enjoyed about the festival had nothing to do with Sendai-san.

          The only reason her words lingered in my mind was because she’d said something strange, but whether Sendai-san showed up or not didn’t matter to me. I had a good time, and I was about to grab dinner with Maika and Ami before heading home, so why should I care about Sendai-san?

          I didn’t think much of her anyway. She was probably off with Ibaraki-san and their crew, celebrating at some loud, obnoxious after-party right now.

          I took off the apron I had used as my cafe uniform, followed by the matching T-shirt my classmates and I had been wearing. Then, I changed into my school uniform. Now that it was October, we had switched to our autumn uniforms1, trading short sleeves for long ones.

          In the end, I never got the opportunity to wear Sendai-san’s blouse, and the one in my closet would never be used again.

          「Shiori, are you done changing?」

          As I lingered in the corner of the classroom – where half of our classmates had already left – I heard Maika’s voice calling out to me.

          「Yeah.」

          I said as I put Sendai-san’s necktie on and picked up my bag.

          「Okay, let’s get going then. I’m starving.」

          Ami said, and the three of us left the classroom together.

          Unlike during the busy festival, the hallway was now quiet, and our footsteps echoed as we went down the stairs. As we reached the shoe lockers, I heard my phone chime in my bag.

          「Was that your phone, Shiori?」

          I nodded in response to Maika’s question and came to a stop. Taking my phone out of my bag, I glanced at the screen and saw Sendai-san’s name.

          『Are you still at school?』

          She had never been the first to message me before.

          I clutched the necktie tightly in my hand.

          This was also the first time she had ever asked me something like this.

          Why does it matter whether I’m at school or not? What if I wasn’t here anymore?

          I was unsure how to interpret her message, as it was the first time she’d asked me something like this. But I knew hesitating wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I answered with, “I am,” and her response came almost immediately.

          『I’ll be waiting at the same place as last time.』

          We weren’t close enough at school to even have a designated meeting spot, but I instantly knew which place she meant.

          Though it only happened once, I did meet with Sendai-san at school before.

          The music preparation room.

          That was probably where she was waiting.

          「Sorry, I think I left something behind. Also, I can’t hang out today. It looks like my father’s coming home early.」

          My excuse probably sounded forced, but it was the only thing I could come up with on the spot, and I turned away immediately after saying it.

          「Aw, come on. We can go with you to get whatever it is you left behind, so you should come to dinner with us.」

          Hearing Ami’s voice close behind, I turned around and said,

          「My father said he wants me home right away. I’m really sorry, but you two should go ahead and have dinner without me.」

          I pressed my palms together as if making a heartfelt request, and Maika answered right away with:

          「If you can’t make it, we can just reschedule for another day. Is that alright with you, Ami?」

          「Okay, we can plan for another time. But we can at least come with you to grab what you forgot.」

          「Oh, no, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to take up more of your time. I’ll just go by myself.」

          I apologized to them once again, and despite Ami’s hesitant expression, she eventually gave in.

          「Alright, we’ll head home without you then. What other days work for you?」

          「You two can decide first, and I’ll adjust my schedule around it.」

          「Got it, I’ll talk it over with Maika then.」

          「Thanks, and sorry for the trouble.」

          I waved goodbye to them before heading towards the old school building.

          With most of the students having gone home, the school was strangely desolate, almost as if we had stepped into another realm. Although the sun was setting, it was still bright outside, keeping the hallways well-lit. However, as I approached the old school building, the decreasing number of students made me uneasy, so I started walking faster, as if to escape the sound of my own footsteps. When I reached the music preparation room and opened the door, Sendai-san was there, blending in with the instruments, waiting for me.

          As I approached Sendai-san, who stood in the light, she called out to me.

          「Long time no see.」

          We’d passed by each other in the hallways several times, so it hadn’t been that long since we’d last seen each other.

          「I thought we agreed we wouldn’t speak to each other at school.」

          「If you really felt that way, you could’ve just stayed away and told me you weren’t coming.」

          Sendai-san smiled as she casually leaned against a shelf filled with polished instruments.

          「Did you have some kind of business with me? You called me here because you wanted to talk, right?」

          I could’ve texted back with, “I’m not coming,” but even I wasn’t sure why I didn’t. In fact, my body had already started moving before I had the chance to respond to her last message. I wasn’t going to let Sendai-san know that, though.

          「I thought we could enjoy the cultural festival together.」

          Sendai-san said with a slightly forced tone in her voice as she gently tapped an instrument that I couldn’t imagine the sound of.

          「The festival’s over, so there’s nothing left for us to “enjoy” together. I don’t find jokes like that funny, so if you don’t have anything else to say, I’m going home.」

          「No, I’m not done yet.」

          Sendai-san narrowed the distance between us, and I instinctively backed away, but she grabbed the sleeve of my blouse.

          「If I told you that the truth was, I really wanted to spend time with you at the cultural festival, would you laugh, Miyagi?」

          Just as I was about to snap back at her, I realized that while Sendai-san’s tone wasn’t entirely earnest, she wasn’t joking either, which made it hard for me to respond. But the mood between us felt too tense for me to remain silent, so I answered with,

          「I would.」

          「Yeah, I get it. I’d probably laugh too if you said the same thing to me.」

          「… But you never came to my class.」

          Sendai-san and I both knew it was impossible for us to go around the cultural festival together, but if she genuinely felt that way, she should’ve at least made the effort to visit my class.

          But the reality was, she never stopped by. She was probably just messing with me, like she always did.

          「I never promised that I would.」

          Sendai-san’s cold response only served to drive my point home.

          「Never mind, I’m just going to go.」

          I tried to shove Sendai-san away by pushing her shoulder, but with us being so close, she wouldn’t let go of my sleeve.

          「You see, Umina and the others kept dragging me around to all the places they wanted to see.」

          「So? What’s your point?」

          「I’m just explaining why I didn’t stop by.」

          「I didn’t ask for an explanation, and frankly, I don’t care.」

          「I thought maybe you’d want to know.」

          「I don’t. I just want to go home, so let go.」

          「I’m not letting go.」

          Sendai-san narrowed the gap between us, her hand that had been clutching my blouse now gripping my arm tightly as she pulled me toward her.

          I didn’t mean to move, but I lost my balance and stumbled forward. It was just a small step—only a few centimeters—but it brought me closer to Sendai-san. She took advantage of that and reduced the gap even further, bringing our lips so close they nearly touched.

          It wasn’t an accident; she was clearly doing it on purpose. I instinctively turned my face away, but Sendai-san had no intention of letting me get away. She leaned in once more, prompting me to shove her away as hard as I could.

          「We can’t do things like this.」

          ‘No more kissing.’

          We never made it a rule or anything, but it just feels like that’s how things should be.

          「You’re saying that after kissing me during summer break?」

          「Summer vacation’s long gone. I’m not kissing you anymore.」

          “That so?” Sendai-san mused to herself as she tugged at the tie around my neck.

          「This is mine, isn’t it?」

          「So what if it is?」

          「You wanted my necktie and blouse so badly that you made me undress on the spot, but you won’t even kiss me?」

          「I didn’t want them that bad, and I didn’t force you to undress. We were just exchanging them.」

          My stern reply caused Sendai-san to retort with a hint of frustration.

          「Well, it’s time to swap back. Give me back my tie and blouse. Take them off right now.」

          「Isn’t it obvious that the blouse I’m wearing isn’t even yours? I’ll return both the blouse and tie later.」

          「No.」

          We had already switched to our autumn uniforms, trading short-sleeved blouses for long ones. The one I was wearing clearly wasn’t Sendai-san’s, and she knew that. But for some reason, she refused to back down.

          「Give it back, right here, right now.」

          「Don’t order me around.」

          「I’m not ordering you around. I’m just telling you it’s time to swap back.」

          「You’re wearing your autumn uniform too, aren’t you? How are you supposed to give me my blouse back?」

          「I brought it with me. The necktie I’m wearing is yours, Miyagi, so I can give it back to you right now.」

          「That has to be a lie. There’s no way you brought my blouse with you to the cultural festival.」

          「If you think I’m lying, why don’t you find out for yourself? It’s in my bag over there. Feel free to go and have a look.」

          As Sendai-san spoke, she turned her attention to the shelf lined with instruments. I followed her gaze and spotted a familiar bag sitting there.

          There was no point in opening it and checking it.

          Given how insistent she was, I had no doubt she had actually brought the blouse. Knowing her, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if she had prepared it specifically for this.

          「… What are you trying to get out of this?」

          「If you let me kiss you right now, we can postpone the trade for another day.」

          「That’s not fair. If you had just told me you wanted to swap back today, I would’ve brought your blouse with me.」

          「I don’t want to hear that from you. You were being unfair the other day too when you didn’t take off your blouse.」

          「I never said I’d give you the one I was wearing.」

          「And that’s exactly what I found unfair, so I think it should be allowed to go both ways.」

          Sendai-san was acting totally out of character.

          She’d never said things like this before.

          She’d often tried to get me to do what she wanted through roundabout methods, but she had never been so forceful with her demands before. I couldn’t figure out what had caused this sudden change.

          Was it because we hadn’t seen each other until after the cultural festival ended?

          That was the only explanation I could come up with, but I couldn’t imagine that to be the reason why she was acting like this.       

          「No, it doesn’t have to go both ways. Don’t talk to me at school anymore, and stop doing things like this. You need to follow the rules, Sendai-san.」

          Otherwise, you’re going to drive me insane.

          If Sendai-san didn’t get it together soon, she was going to leave me feeling directionless, like a broken compass, and I might end up in a place I shouldn’t be—one I might not be able to return from. With Sendai-san planning to leave me behind a few months from now, I didn’t want to become any more involved with her than I already was.

          「… It’s your fault for looking like you were having such a great time at the cultural festival, Miyagi.」

          Sendai-san mumbled quietly.

          「How do you know I was having fun?」

          「Because I was watching you.」

          「Didn’t you also have a good time, Sendai-san?」

          When I saw her at last year’s cultural festival, Sendai-san looked like she was having a blast, laughing with all her friends. I hadn’t seen her at all during this year’s festival, but I was sure it had been just as fun for her.

          But for some reason, she didn’t answer.

          Instead, she loosened the grip she had on my arm.

          「Look, if you’re so opposed to being kissed that you feel you need to run away, then you can leave. I’m not interested in kissing someone who’s so uncomfortable with it that they want to escape. If you want to go, then go. I’m not going to chase after you.」

          「Are you saying I have to be the one to choose?」

          「Exactly, and I’ll accept whatever decision you make.」

          「… You really are unfair, Sendai-san.」

          She never made any decisions. She’d always leave the final say to me and wait to see what I would choose.

          And even when she presented me with options, it felt as though the answer had been decided for me from the start.

          「You’d better make up your mind soon, or else I might not let you choose anymore, you know?」

          Sendai-san said as she released her grip on me.


  1. If you recall, all the way back in part 30, Miyagi and Sendai wore different uniforms depending on the season. Well, it’s autumn in the story now, so they’re changing them again! In the winter, many schools will have their students wearing blazers to keep warm, and during the summer, students are to wear their short-sleeved blouses and dress-shirts without needing any outerwear. But for the milder seasons that have less extreme temperature shifts like spring and autumn, they’ll usually have long-sleeved shirts on and they can choose if they want to wear a sweater vest or not. However, some schools might have their own dress codes or requirements.

    So, the students are now wearing what you call “合服 (aifuku),” which are clothes to be worn during spring and autumn. I translated it as “autumn uniform,” but just know that it’s usually the same clothes that are worn during the spring as well.

    And on that note, because Miyagi and Sendai are third years and the Japanese school system has them graduating in the spring, they won’t get another opportunity to wear their summer clothes anymore. ↩︎

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25 responses to “[Part 76] I’ll Be Fine Even If I Don’t Get To See Sendai-san (IV)”

  1. Will the sullen Miyagi find a satisfactory escape from Sendai’s manipulations?? These mini-cliffhangers are pretty frequent and are a big contributor to what makes the pacing feel so great.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. wow, thanks for so many updates!

    and have Sendai been feeling really lonely? Oh sweet summer child, I do feel for her. Miyagi is often so eager to escape, but with the amount of time they haven’t seen each other, they just might to stay together today…

    Liked by 4 people

  3. In today episode of The Sendai Strikes Back:

    She is more aggressive than ever now, I bet it’s all pent up since that time she thought Miyagi would undress but didn’t eventually. And all the loneliness from not getting to spend time alone with Miyagi for quite long time.

    Miyagi keeps saying she didn’t wait for Sendai to come by in the cultural festival, but she is so conscious and sad of the fact that Sendai didn’t come though, aw what a dishonest baby.

    Btw, I feel so bliss to be graced with so many updates in a short time 🙏, but I am also getting nervous 👀. I hope you are not pushing yourself for this speed, pls proceed with a pace you are comfortable at.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Ya Sendai’s been carrying a grudge ever since Miyagi pulled that fast one on her during the blouse swapping lol.
      And yeah she admits to having been watching Miyagi from afar this whole time during the cultural festival. Sendai was probably feeling jealous that Miyagi was laughing and having fun with her friends instead of with her.
      Now all that plus the loneliness from not having seen Miyagi for so long is causing Sendai to bubble over and act out of character like this.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks for another update, this made my day :). That sure was an intense chapter, I will shamelessly admit that I got up and paced. But seriously, assertive Hazuki is best Hazuki! As predicted, she was still very much hung up about the blouse…

    I love how Sendai-san was fairly collected in her last chapters, but you can feel how she lost it over the 4 chapters of Miyagi’s perspective and the writing lets you fill in the blanks.

    “「Because I was watching you.」” – HNNGNGNGNG she doesn’t even pretend anymore.

    “「… You really are unfair, Sendai-san.」” – So it came up before that Sendai-san is putting too much on Miyagi here, but the alternative would be not giving her a choice…for the time being, I am glad the Hazukitrain has brakes -_-;.

    “「You’d better make up your mind soon, or else I might not let you choose anymore, you know?」”- Which is not to say I wouldn’t enjoy reading more about THIS. Hopefully after giving Miyagi some more emotional security…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Another update!? You’re the best! :DDDD

    I love how Sendai schemed up this scenario by bringing the blouse with her. It’s clear her frustration from not seeing Miyagi for awhile, being tricked with the blouse shopping, and having to watch Miyagi spend time happily with her friends is all coming together to make Sendai malfunction a bit. Miyagi giving her a kiss should fix her right up!
    It’s nice seeing this aggressive side to Sendai sometimes.

    And Miyagi continues lying to herself about how she totally wasn’t waiting for Sendai to come visit her class and definitely is not disappointed that Sendai never showed up. 😛

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  6. I really really like one particular choice of words from Miyagi in this chapter, it’s so emblematic to her as a character.

    “With Sendai-san planning to leave me behind a few months from now, I didn’t want to become any more involved with her than I already was.”

    Her abandonmnent issues have never been made more clearer than this, I believe. She’s so convinced that Sendai is going to discard her that she completely fixates on this idea, ignoring all factual evidence to the contrary and only really sabotaging herself and their relationship. It’s such a good representation of this particular mental issue and I relate to it so hard. It’s also quite obvious that this stems from the absence of her mother from her life, and I’m really glad this wasn’t something drawn attention to by her inner voice, neat little example of show don’t tell.

    Anyway, thank you so much for the frequent uploads! Getting to read a chapter every evening has been a wonderful experience.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yep, and not only that, Miyagi’s mother supposedly up and left without a word as opposed to separating amicably or still being in her life in some shape or form. She mentioned it way back in volume 1, but she’s never been able to fathom why or how her mother (someone that’s supposed to love her unconditionally) was able to leave her family behind so easily. To steal Miyagi’s words here, if her own mother could abandon her without a second thought, why should she expect Sendai – someone who’s not even her friend – to stick around?

      Liked by 3 people

      • I completely forgot about that moment, it’s a sign I should really reread the series from the beginning. But it makes perfect sense since Miyagi is emotionally constipated and unable to really understand or convey feelings properly. And it’s no wonder when one of her parents left her and the other doesn’t seem to really give a shit in the slightest (even if he’s trying in his mind, an absent parent is an absent parent), that definitely didn’t help her development as a person.

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  7. I can’t help but wonder at the author’s choice of not having Sendai visit Miyagi’s class. It could have led to sooo many interesting situations, and could have been a really cute event. Was it maybe just to be able to have Miyagi realize how much she thinks of and relies on Sendai? I just think it would have been a really fun chapter if she had visited her.

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  8. Thank you for the translations!!! These updates are keeping me alive during my work day.

    I love how Miyagi and Sendai both seem to think that they’re putting the onus of the decision making on the other, when in reality they both desperately want to be close to one another, and are so busy trying to deny that fact to themselves that they completely miss how the other person is doing the same thing.

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  9. You can really feel Miyagi’s inner turmoil this chapter. How she’s internally struggling with not wanting to get any closer to Sendai because she is convinced they’re just going to split up in a few months but also really wanting to kiss those soft supple lips.

    I like how Miyagi keeps using her “father” as an excuse for when she has to meet or do something for Sendai. I wonder if she’ll call her daddy someday. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say something so crude about these pure girls.

    And I really wish Maika and Ami would have thought her excuse was suspicious and secretely followed her. What a great scene that would have been for them to find her secretly meeting with Sendai.

    My personal headcannon:

    *after Miyagi walks off

    Maika: “hey, remember that time back in July when we were going to hang out after that half day and she suddenly said she had to go meet up with her father?”

    Ami: “yeah I remember that”

    Maika: “and just now she got a notification and all of a sudden cancels our plans and says she has to go home to her father, seems suspicious”

    Ami: “ooh, you think she’s secretly meeting up with a guy?”

    Maika: “I do, we should follow her”

    *follows her to music room

    *20 minutes later sees Sendai leaving, followed by Miyagi a few moments later

    *next day, intense interrogation ensues while Miyagi starts planning how to murder Sendai for calling her there

    I may have spent an embarrassing amount of time writing that up lol

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  10. I feel Sendai’s frustrations HEAVILY, lmao. Her admitting she was watching her during the festival… MAYAGI NEEDS TO STOP BEING SO STUBBORN

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