I left the old school building and headed toward the entrance. It wasn’t like the school was completely empty, but the hallways were so quiet, it felt as though no one else was around. If it had been dark, I might have been scared enough to run, but since it was still light out, I walked quickly to the lockers without passing anyone on the way.
I switched my shoes and stepped outside, shivering as the cold wind hit me. I glanced back over my shoulder.
Sendai-san wasn’t there.
Of course she wasn’t. I’d told her to wait ten minutes before coming, and Sendai-san was just keeping that promise. If not, she would’ve been walking beside me right now since we were both heading in the same direction.
I had asked Sendai-san to come over today. If we walked home together, we could’ve passed the time together, but we agreed not to interact at school.
I let out a sigh.
The air wasn’t cold enough to see my breath, but it lacked any warmth, making it feel even chillier than last year.
It felt colder without Sendai-san here.
―― No, that wasn’t it.
Sure, being close to Sendai-san in the music preparation room made it warmer, but that was just because of the presence of another person. It would’ve felt warm even if it wasn’t Sendai-san, and now it was cold outside simply because it was cold—not because she wasn’t here.
I faced forward again.
If I stayed any longer, she’d catch up to me.
Her sudden hug, and how she rejected my words when I told her to “stay here”—I was curious about it all, but there wasn’t time to dwell on it. If I thought too deeply, I’d just end up overanalyzing every little thing she did.
I passed through the school gates and headed home, walking fast enough not to get out of breath.
As I went, I passed by a lot of people and walked by several stores until I stopped in front of the supermarket I usually visited a few times a week.
Right, there’s nothing left in the fridge.
With nothing stocked, that meant no frozen food, no ready-made meals, not even instant noodles.
Unless Sendai-san did something ridiculous like running all the way to my place, I had enough time to pick up a few things.
I walked into the supermarket and grabbed a basket.
I tossed some cabbages, potatoes, pre-made curry and stew, and a few frozen items into my basket. After hesitating for a moment, I added pork, chicken, and curry roux before heading to the cashier.
The bags felt heavier than usual as I walked outside, and twenty minutes had passed since I’d left.
I checked my phone and saw a few messages from Sendai-san, who had already arrived at my place before me.
I started to reply but decided against it.
After everything that happened today, it would probably be better if she just went home.
I should have told her not to come at all today, instead of asking her to wait ten minutes before leaving the music preparation room. I wasn’t sure how to face her after what she’d done.
I swung my bags lightly, filled with things I normally wouldn’t buy, as I walked. The weight slowed me down.
Dragging my feet, I made my way back home. When I reached the entrance, the lights of my apartment building came into view, and I heard a familiar, disgruntled voice.
「You left ten minutes ahead of me, so how come you’re late? Did you even check your phone?」
I turned toward the voice and saw Sendai-san, standing by the wall. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she wasn’t there. The tip of her nose was a little red, and I realized I had made her wait outside long enough for the cold to get to her—even though she was usually the one who complained about being too warm.
「You waited for me?」
「Of course I did. You were the one who told me to come ten minutes later, so I’d be surprised if you were just ignoring me. It’s freezing today—you shouldn’t have taken any detours.」
“If it was that cold, you should’ve just gone home.”
For a moment, I considered saying it, but instead, I held up the bags I was carrying.
「Here.」
「What? Are you telling me to carry your bags for you?」
「These are the ingredients I want you to use to make us dinner.」
I said, as I pushed the bags into Sendai-san’s hands and unlocked the entrance of the building.
「Am I making us dinner tonight?」
「Yeah, it’s an order.」
Hearing something she couldn’t argue with, Sendai-san mumbled, “I see,” and started walking. We rode the elevator up to the sixth floor together, but she didn’t try to hold my hand or say anything. After taking off our shoes at the entrance, we headed straight to the kitchen.
I turned on the lights and air conditioner while she started putting everything away. It wasn’t awkward, but there was nothing to say either. She was acting like she hadn’t just hugged me in the music preparation room earlier.
She was always like this—pretending like nothing was wrong whenever something happened. Normally, it’d bother me, but I was grateful for it today. It would’ve been more uncomfortable if she’d treated it like something had happened.
When she finished putting everything away, I handed her a five-thousand-yen bill.
「What if I said I didn’t need this?」
Sendai-san looked at the five-thousand-yen bill as if she were seeing it for the first time. But by now, this exchange had become a kind of ritual for us. Our relationship wouldn’t feel right unless she accepted the bill. If she started making dinner without taking it, it wouldn’t be an order anymore. Worse, she might think I was influenced by what she said earlier about us eating together after graduation.
That wasn’t why I wanted someone else to make dinner tonight.
I just wanted to eat something made by someone else for a change—there was no deeper reason.
「If you’d rather go home, you don’t have to take it.」
I started to take the five-thousand-yen bill away, but Sendai-san grabbed it from my hand before I could.
「Thanks. So, you want me to make dinner tonight?」
Sendai-san asked as she stuffed the bill in her wallet.
「Yeah.」
「Do you want to eat first and study after?」
「Sure.」
「Alright, so what do you want me to make?」
「Up to you.」
I replied casually, and Sendai-san, who had been staring into the fridge, turned her gaze to me.
「You’re leaving it up to me, huh? You were the one who bought all these ingredients. Did you not have something in mind?」
「Just make whatever you want. I don’t know how to cook, so I just bought random stuff.」
「You really didn’t think this through, did you?」
「Like I said, I didn’t know what to buy.」
I answered honestly, and Sendai-san let out a groan, closing the refrigerator door as she stood up.
「I’m not that good at cooking. I can’t just whip something up with a random mix of ingredients.」
「Well, we could just heat those up instead.」
I pointed at the instant and pre-made food on the table.
「I guess we could, but… then it wouldn’t count as me making dinner anymore. How about curry? We’ve got potatoes and meat. No onions or carrots, but it should be fine.」
Since I was the one giving the orders in the first place, it would’ve been fine to just go with instant food, but Sendai-san was strangely stubborn about these things. I didn’t mind this side of her, but it could be a pain sometimes.
If she were more laid-back, she wouldn’t try to meddle in my future like she had been. It would save me from thinking about unnecessary things.
「I’ll leave it to you, then.」
There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but for now, I decided to let her handle dinner. I left the kitchen area and sat at the counter, watching her from the living room.
Once she made up her mind, there was no point in saying anything more.
Even before I said I’d leave it to her, Sendai-san was already washing the potatoes and had set out a pot and knives.
When she’d said, “I want us to share meals together,” I doubt she meant she’d be the one making them, but seeing her cook wasn’t unpleasant. There was a sense of ease, knowing there was someone else in the house besides me.
It felt even better knowing that that “someone” was Sendai-san, and I couldn’t help but wish these moments could turn into a regular routine. But this routine could easily vanish one day if she decided she didn’t want it anymore.
Even if she liked the way things were today, there was no guarantee she’d feel the same tomorrow.
Thinking about it like that made me feel a little down.
Looking at her now, it seemed like she was just accommodating me, much like how she’d always bought magazines she didn’t care for just to have something to talk about with Ibaraki-san. There was no benefit for her in being with me, and it just made more sense to think of it that way.
While she stir-fried the potatoes she had already peeled and chopped, I asked her a question.
「… Sendai-san, are you really not going to stay?」
It wasn’t something I needed to gather my courage to ask, but it still felt difficult. My mouth struggled to form the words, and my voice caught in my throat. It must’ve sounded like I’d asked something more important than I meant it to, and I regretted it as soon as it left my lips.
Sendai-san didn’t answer.
I hadn’t said it that quietly, but she continued cooking the curry.
I didn’t want to force her to respond, so I decided to drop it.
As I rested my forehead against the counter, I heard her voice.
「Does that mean you want me to stay?」
「I’m the one asking you here.」
I lifted my head and saw her holding a cabbage, preparing to make a salad.
「I’m not going to apply to any local universities.」
The vague question I’d asked was met with the clear answer I’d already known. I’d expected it, but I couldn’t help complaining after she’d spent all that effort trying to change my mind.
「… If you’re just trying to live alone, you could still do that here.」
「But I don’t want to do it here.」
She replied curtly as she chopped the cabbage. Then, in a voice barely audible over the chopping, she added,
「How many more months do we have left to share meals like this again?」
She asked, as if deliberately.
「Figure it out yourself.」
「The graduation ceremony is at the beginning of March, and we don’t really have to go to school in February, so I guess we’ve got until December or January?」
「I guess so.」
The graduation ceremony wasn’t that close yet.
Even so, the thought of Sendai-san not coming over after February made me too sad to even want to eat what she was cooking. It felt like it’d be too cold if half of this room was empty, but it wasn’t just that. It was starting to feel like she belonged by my side. Her presence had become so routine that it would be strange not to have her around.
If I’d known it would come to this, part of me wished something had happened that day during summer break. Though I’d convinced myself we shouldn’t be doing things like that, if things had gone differently, maybe I wouldn’t be overthinking telling Sendai-san that I wanted to apply to the same university as Maika.
But the reality was, nothing happened between us.
I still had no idea what I’d do about my future. I didn’t even know if I’d get accepted or not, and I kept thinking I could just figure it out if I did.
This place, though, held too many memories of Sendai-san, and it made me want to leave.
That was the only decision I wouldn’t change.
24 responses to “[Part 89] The Routine of Being with Sendai-san (III)”
ahhh I can’t take this anymore!! Just confess!!
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omg when sendai talked ab wanting to share meals tgt with miyagi, i really thought she meant restaurants or monthly meet-ups. but no, she probably meant that she wanted to cook for miyagi and share those meals with her. bye i didn’t realise sendai wanted to wife her up this early😭
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Thanks for the translation! I’m happy to catch a release early for once!
me when I lie
and aghhhh the way she’s convincing herself that Sendai could leave at any moment once she decides she doesn’t want it anymore… definitely thinking of her mom, isnt she?
And I wish she’d realize that Sendai isn’t accommodating her like she does for Ibaraki, isn’t it the exact opposite?
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“The Nile” is a river in Egypt and “denial” is Miyagi’s state of mind. I had also copied that quote you posted. Despite thinking that, later in the chapter Miyagi contradicts that thought more than once. She tries to deny her feelings but they’re too strong.
And yeah it’s the opposite of what she does with Ibaraki. Sendai can freely be herself around Miyagi. But Miyagi doesn’t know that and has a hard time getting a read on Sendai. I wonder if Miyagi would even believe her if Sendai told her directly.
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they don’t know the meaning of communication so they? Part of me just wants to open up their minds and place the idea that being honest and blunt may actually make them happier instead of sadder, but noooo, they both must tip-toe around everything and never be fully open. You know, the day they are fully open with each other is the day pigs fly.
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The problem is, they’re both so convinced that the other is on the cusp of leaving them that they’re too scared to say anything that might break the arrangement off early.
So they end up pushing to try and get the other one to do or say something to assuage that fear but because they both communicate their needs so differently it mostly gets lost in translation.
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That is an excellent point! I always get a little bit frustrated if romance stories excessively play this “oh there was this wiiiild misunderstanding” card, but in this work it is so well laid out why Sendai and Miyagi have a hard time explaining themselves to the other, it becomes almost a study. Intriguing.
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“they don’t know the meaning of communication so they?”
Doesn’t help that when Sendai tries to communicate, Miyagi rejects it.
“I want to keep eating with you.” -> *She’ll leave me*
Sendai licks and kisses inside Miyagi’s thighs despite Miyagi’s protests -> *Sendai is simply accommodating herself to me*
And heck, Miyagi can’t be coherent even by herself.
buys things for Sendai to cook -> *I wish Sendai had left*
We’ve gone from gay chicken to idiot gay chicken.
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” 「You really didn’t think this through, did you?」
「Like I said, I didn’t know what to buy.」
I answered honestly, and Sendai-san let out a groan, closing the refrigerator door as she stood up.
「I’m not that good at cooking. I can’t just whip something up with a random mix of ingredients.」”
I enjoy this dynamic where Miyagi assumes Sendai can do anything. The meal Sendai is embarrassed about cooking will be the meal Miyagi is impressed by.
It seems like Miyagi is too scared to say she wants to stay together without knowing for sure that they’ll be able to do it, but she is starting to accept Sendai’s plans. If Miyagi gets into the adjacent university, that’s when she could ask Sendai to continue visiting.
Overall pretty good communication by their standards and a good introspective chapter from Miyagi. It will be interesting to see how Sendai has been processing the last few chapters.
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Roughly 30 more chapters until we see what happens after graduation. In my opinion the best part of the entire story. Can’t wait until we get there. It’ll be so nice to read with a good translation
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Neither of them wants to be the one to say for certain that it’s ending, huh? Always asking the other to confirm, and getting a non-commital answer back.
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Just three more chapters and the vol is complete🥹❤️
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verily, this chapter is a feast
a thousand thanks for your work!
love the yearning in this one.
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Miyagi….something CAN still happen, my gosh.
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” It felt even better knowing that that “someone” was Sendai-san, and I couldn’t help but wish these moments could turn into a regular routine. But this routine could easily vanish one day if she decided she didn’t want it anymore.
Even if she liked the way things were today, there was no guarantee she’d feel the same tomorrow.
Thinking about it like that made me feel a little down.”
Great example of how Miyagi’s abandonment issues warp her thoughts. This isn’t something that can be gotten over just by Sendai telling her how important Miyagi is to her and how important it is to Sendai that they stay together. This is a deep-seeded fear that she will eventually be abandoned, regardless of what the other person tells her. It’s going to take a long time for her to work through this and accept that Sendai won’t just suddenly lose interest in her and disappear from her life.
Even after buying the ingredients, Miyagi didn’t text Sendai that she was running late because part of her was hoping Sendai would give up and go home. Part of her feels that if Sendai’s going disappear from her life anyway, she might as well do it immediately instead of dragging things out.
It’s sad how her thoughts are being warped like this, leaving her incapable of being happy in the moment and unable to embrace the possibility of a happy future together with Sendai.
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After reading that comment, I did get a bit more depressed about the situation because truly it becomes clear that no amount of trust that Sendai earns could fix this. After all if even the unconditional love of a mother is so fickle, who would Sendai have to be to make Miyagi feel secure?
But even so, I really want to read a story where Sendai-san beats all odds and can somehow make this stray cat come to trust her once again.
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In the end Miyagi is right – an SO can leave at any time. They are committed up until the point they aren’t, so either it comes as a surprise or you’re worrying any conflict could be what tanks the relationship. Someone who’s not okay with that on a deep level cannot be reassured.
Of course, Sendai is not as fickle as Miyagi thinks/fears. However, I think the insecurity will continue until Miyagi feels confident in her own self worth and ability to establish meaningful connections. As hard as it is for someone with Miyagi’s background to achieve that, it’s a complete impossibility for someone else to do for them
Or at least, that’s how I see this, anyway. To me, Miyagi’s only path out is pursuing connections despite that insecurity, combined with discovering what she finds personally fulfilling as an individual. The fact she’s studying to try to get into a more competitive university shows her failure risk tolerance is growing.
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Thanks for that insight! You are right and I kinda misunderstood what the issue is. Indeed, it is unrealistic for Sendai to “fix” this situation by herself. It is not just that we need the best Sendai-san there is, but we also need a Miyagi that manages to overcome herself, hm?
I can see how that will take a few hundred chapters more 😀
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Truly the introspection of this part is so good.
Like, even though I read up the 200+ WN chapters and already know ahead, re-reading this one with clearer context still sadden me a lot.
Their feelings of desperate over the impending end of their relationship are just seeping over the page. Those two are both yearning each other so hard, and yet they hold such different views and uncertainty of their future that neither wants to relent. Thus they keep trying to change the other person’s mind but ofc it doesn’t work out.
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They both want the same thing, but neither can communicate it with the other one out of fear that they wouldn’t believe it, or worse be scared off.
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Aaaaaah. Again such a heavy chapter. Truly we are nearing the end of the volume, where the author likes to hide away some heavy development, no?
However, I am getting mildly hopeful because rarely do we see so much introspection from Miyagi – in a borderline honest way. It feels to me like a setup to what will happen in Sendais POV over the last three parts. Both of them now somewhat have their cards on the table and have been honest like never before about what they want.
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Thank You For Translation >O<!!
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miyagi, i really wouldnt say NOTHING has happened between u two
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” Looking at her now, it seemed like she was just accommodating me, much like how she’d always bought magazines she didn’t care for just to have something to talk about with Ibaraki-san. There was no benefit for her in being with me, and it just made more sense to think of it that way.”
Damn Miyagi is so much like my old self it’s painfull to Read ! 😭 ( BTW yes that’s the reason I hate her )
less overthinking Miyagi ! Less thinking and more action girl ! Make the council of INTP proud ! 😭
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