The black cat plushie that Sendai-san gave me today was now sitting beside my pillow.

         If I left it on top of the tissue box with the crocodile cover, I wouldn’t be able to get any tissues, and it’d probably topple over. If I put it on my desk, it’d just get in the way of my studying, and putting it on the bookshelf would make reaching for books a hassle.

         So, I had no other option but to place it next to my pillow. Not that I wanted to.

         「Are you happy to have a friend now?」

         I asked the crocodile, which usually sat on the floor, as I pulled it onto my bed. It stayed silent, even now that it was next to the black cat. Naturally, it didn’t respond—if it had, that would’ve been terrifying.

         Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what Sendai-san was thinking.

         The crocodile was just a tissue cover. My room wasn’t decorated with stuffed animals or anything, and I’d never mentioned liking them. I hadn’t even said I liked animals, let alone cats.

         So why had she decided to give me a stuffed black cat for Christmas?

         Sendai-san didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d give a stuffed animal as a gift. That’s why I kept thinking there must have been some reason behind her choice. But at the same time, it could just as easily be meaningless—like she’d picked it out without considering how I’d feel.

         Though, if she’d given me an accessory like the one I gave her, I doubt I would’ve accepted it. It was probably because she gave me something as casual as a stuffed animal that I didn’t reject it outright.

         But the real issue was that now there was yet another reminder of her in my room.

         「I still don’t know what to do with her uniform…」

         I glanced over at my closet while stroking the black cat’s head.

         Sendai-san’s blouse was still hanging in there.

         Her blouse, which I’d never worn, held so many memories, yet I couldn’t bring myself to throw it out. For now, it sat tucked away in my closet, blending in as though it were just another part of my own uniform.

         Now, with the black cat Sendai-san gave me, there was yet another thing in my room that reminded me of her. Even if I wanted to seal away the memories of today, this made it impossible to forget them.

         This is really troubling…

         I put the crocodile back on the floor, exhaled deeply, and closed my eyes.

         What happened on the bed earlier was so incredibly embarrassing, but what I didn’t want Sendai-san to realize was that, even after all that, I still didn’t want to stop her from coming over.

         Whenever Sendai-san was around, somehow, we always ended up crossing lines we hadn’t planned to. I couldn’t deny that I was at least curious about doing a little more with her, but I felt I was far too indulgent with her.

         No sex.

         That was a rule Sendai-san herself had made, and it seemed so obvious I hadn’t even thought there was a point in setting it. But we’d pushed that rule—not just today, but also during summer break.

         I’d never planned to let her take things this far.

         If I tried to pin the blame on Sendai-san, she’d just say it was my fault for letting it happen. But this time, I really had no choice—it was something I needed to do to make sure she’d come over during winter break.

         Now that I thought about it, maybe the reason Sendai-san hadn’t mentioned winter break until today was because she’d been waiting for the chance to strike a deal with me. The thought made me feel a little frustrated, as if she were forcing me to accept that everything that happened today couldn’t be helped—and that all of it was her fault.

         On top of that, I was even more frustrated by how willing I was to forgive her without a second thought.

         Sendai-san always left the final decision to me. She rarely made any choices herself, and she had a way of carefully shaping the options I could pick from.

         It wasn’t fair.

         She’d make rules and then break them whenever it suited her. She’d make advances on me like it was nothing.

         I was the one who’d planted the seeds of this relationship by paying her five thousand yen. Those seeds weren’t meant to grow; they were supposed to stay buried deep underground, never sprouting. But for some reason, Sendai-san kept watering them, making them grow.

         I never asked her to do that.

         If she’d just left those seeds alone, we could’ve made it all the way to graduation without incident. But once they started sprouting, it became hard to ignore them. I’d feel guilty about uprooting them now, and the more they grew, the harder it was to think about pulling them out.

         I was starting to regret making the graduation ceremony the last day of our arrangement.

         That said, I couldn’t say I regretted what happened today, but it bothered me that I was the only one feeling embarrassed. It felt like I was the only one losing out.

         It made me want to call Sendai-san and vent, but we didn’t have the sort of relationship where we could just call each other whenever we wanted.

         It wasn’t late enough to go to sleep yet, and I found myself wondering what she’d do if I actually called her. But after everything that happened today, I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone and complain to her.

         After what happened earlier, we spent the rest of the day together like nothing had changed, but I couldn’t bring myself to invite her for dinner. Sendai-san didn’t mention it either and left without a word. I’d been pretending I wasn’t uncomfortable, but deep down, I was already dreading the idea of inviting her over during winter break.

         「Sendai-san really complicated things…」

         If I invited her over right after winter break started, it might come across like I was expecting something, but if I didn’t call her at all, it’d render everything we did today pointless.

         I picked up the stuffed black cat sitting next to my pillow, but just as I was about to throw it at the ceiling, I stopped myself. I held its hand before setting it back down.

         I was used to being alone, but today, being left alone with my thoughts only brought up things I didn’t want to think about. My room felt strange, almost as if it wasn’t even mine anymore.

         It felt like Sendai-san’s presence was still lingering, even though she was gone.

         I stood up and grabbed my phone from the table.

         I thought of distracting myself by talking to someone, but the word “someone” immediately made me think of Sendai-san.

         But really, anyone would do. Although the black cat plush and crocodile were here to keep me company, they didn’t exactly make for great conversation partners.

         I scrolled through my contacts until Maika’s name appeared.

         『Are you free right now? I have something I want to talk about.』

         After sending her a message, she quickly responded with, “Yep, I’m free right now.” I called her straight away. Hearing her familiar, cheerful voice eased my mind.

         I wasn’t about to tell Maika what happened today, so I decided to talk about something else instead.

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