「You okay, Yume?」

     「Ah, yeah. My head still kinda hurts, but the medicine’s starting to work.」

     「Let me know if it gets worse, okay? I can take you to the nurse’s office.」

     「Thanks. I’m gonna go lie down for a bit.」

     It seemed that Yume was sensitive to changes in air pressure^[1], and it sometimes caused her headaches. It was worse than usual for her today, so she was spending this P.E. class watching from the sidelines. I couldn’t help but worry, but it looked like she’d be fine as long as she got some rest.

     I paired with Mutsuki after we finished warming up, and we started gently rallying a ball back and forth.

     Up until recently, we had been doing marathon running, but now we were on volleyball. I wasn’t particularly good at it, nor was I especially bad. That’s how I was with everything, though. Not particularly good, not especially bad, just decently capable with anything.

     I supposed I was a jack of all trades, master of none.

     The one thing I had put effort into getting good at was cooking, but even that I’d recently lacked practice in.

     「By the way, what happened with that love letter?」

     Mutsuki asked.

     That startled me.

     「Nothing much. I just said no, and that was that.」

     「Hm… who was it?」

     「Not telling. It’d be rude to them.」

     「That’s oddly earnest of you, Kurumi.」

     「I’m always earnest.」

     「Says you. You snuck out of school the other day.」

     「That was because Mizuki was sick.」

     「Siscon.」

     「Ugh.」

     Hitting the ball with my arm hurt a little. Even light irritation could make my skin red, so I always wore a tracksuit when we did volleyball. It made me get hot pretty easily, though.

     「Is she the reason why you’re not interested in romance?」

     「I don’t think so.」

     That might have been the case. I had always been too busy at home to have time for things like love. Even now that I was free from housework, I still didn’t really really understand or have any interest in it.

     Maybe in a different life, I would have gotten all captivated by love, but I couldn’t quite imagine myself being like that.

     「I mean, it’s not like you have any interest in it either.」

     「Yeah, I guess. I’m satisfied as long as I can just hang out and have fun. Dating and romance are in a different world to me.」

     「Hmm.」

     「Yep. Speaking of hanging out, wanna go somewhere for Christmas?」

     「Huh?」

     My eyes widened. Mutsuki had never shown interest in seasonal celebrations like these before.

     「I thought it was an opportune time to deepen my friendship with you and Yume. We haven’t hung out that much, after all.」

     「I^[2] spend time with Kurumi pretty regularly, though.」

     「For real? Invite me too.」

     「Mutsuki, you’re always with your other friends. We’ve been saying you’re a traitor.」

     「You two don’t come along when I invite you.」

     「If you ask on the day of, there’s gonna be times when we can’t make it. Kurumi and I have quite busy schedules, you know.」

     「You celebrities or something?」

     Even though she was laying there exhausted, Yume was still able to normally converse with Mutsuki. It seemed like she would be able to participate in the next class like normal.

     「Then we can hang out on Christmas, okay? It won’t be spontaneous.」

     「Hm… You free, Kurumi?」

     「I should be. I have nothing to do.」

     I had told Sorahashi-san that I had family matters to attend to, but the truth was that there wasn’t really anything at all. I was at the age where I didn’t want to spend Christmas at home anymore. Mizuki didn’t have much interest in that either. I was sure she had plans with her friends.

     「If Kurumi’s going, I’m going.」

     「Such undisguised intentions. Yuck.」

     「It’s because Kurumi’s my mama.」

     「What are you even saying?」

     Hold up.

     I felt like there was some sort of misunderstanding here.

     I had become friends with Mutsuki and Yume when we started high school, but I’d gotten to know Yume a little earlier. Our last names, Futami and Nanoka, were close to each other on the class register, so our seats had also been close. We naturally started talking, and now we were best friends.

     As we continued chatting, the teacher told us to start playing actual matches.

     We split off into two groups to get things started. As I rallied the ball back and forth, I momentarily glanced into the other court. There, I saw Sorahashi-san jumping up high and scoring with a spike.

     She was tall, but her figure wasn’t large or imposing. I thought that was incredible. She usually came across as quite delicate, but during times like these she had a gallant expression on her face. Perhaps that contrast is what made everyone love her.

     Speaking of which…

     Even though Sorahashi-san always turned down confessions, romance was actually something she was—

     「Kurumi, heads up!」

     「Huh? …Ah.」

     I directed my attention over, but it was too late.

     I felt an impact on my head, and soon after my nose began to bleed. The ball bounced off with a faint noise and rolled away.

     The silence that occurred after someone got hurt made me uncomfortable. I was the type to run over and help right away if someone else got injured, but I had no clue what to do when the one with the injury was me.

     I felt a slimy sensation as I brought my hand to my nose.

     It seemed like it was bleeding. The red droplets dribbling onto the floor seemed more alive than ordinary water. For some reason, seeing it made me think of Sorahashi-san.

     「Are you okay!?」

     I stuck out my hand to stop Yume, who had gotten up to run over to me.

     「I’m fine, it doesn’t hurt that much. I’m gonna go to the nurse’s office for a bit.」

     「Oh, then I’ll take you.」

     「It’s fine, I can go by myself.」

     Before heading over, I gave a small apology to the classmate that had hit the ball to me. I felt like I had caused them trouble. I had been totally distracted while thinking about Sorahashi-san.

     I walked slowly while pinching my nose.

     With classes in session, the hallway was awfully quiet.

     There were faint sounds emanating from the classrooms, but not a single student in the hallway itself. I didn’t get to see the hallways like this very often, so it was a bit of a fresh experience. However, I didn’t get to fully appreciate this mundane experience because of the unpleasant sensation of blood.

     Because I barely went, I got a little lost before finding the nurse’s office.

     I knocked and heard a voice respond. While thinking that it was kind of familiar, the door opened.

     「What’s up, Kurumi?」

     「…Sorahashi-san? Why are you here?」

     「I got here ahead of you. It looks like the nurse isn’t around.」

     She gave a sweet smile.

     I hadn’t expected her to be here, so I was completely lost on what sort of face to make.

     「Sit down on the bed and let me see your nose.」

     Even though I was a bit confused, I sat. She sat down by my side and began to stare at me.

     「Your bleeding… it’s stopped. It looks like it wasn’t that bad.」

     Compared to before, her expression was a lot more serious. I wondered if she was worried about me. If that was the case, then I’d done something bad.

     「…You were watching me, weren’t you?」

     She spoke in a soft voice.

     「What are you talking about?」

     「There’s no need to play dumb. I could feel your eyes on me. …It’s dangerous to look away when you’re playing volleyball, okay?」

     Knowing that she was totally right, I averted my gaze. It was embarrassing to have the fact that I really was looking at her pointed out.

     It’s not like there was any particular reason why. She had just caught my attention.

     「Kurumi, you’re a bad liar. Even on our previous date, you had said you arrived right on time when you actually arrived way earlier.」

     「…You saw?」

     「No, but I just knew.」

     Maybe her strange laugh at that time was because she knew I was lying.

     The thought of that was a little embarrassing.

     「…Yeah, that was also a lie.」

     She kept staring at me even as my gaze remained turned away.

     Her eyes, so complex and beautiful that describing them as any particular color would be wrong, reflected my image.

     「Even though you said you had family matters on Christmas… You made plans with Futami-san and Nakamura-san.」

     「…Sorry.」

     「I know receiving an invitation all of a sudden can put you on the spot. But even I’d be hurt by that sort of response.」

     I had no reply. No matter the reason, the truth was that I had lied to her. There was no room for excuses. As I remained silent, I felt her breath on my ear. When I tried to move away, she grabbed my arm.

     She was strong.

     No matter how much I tried to shake her off, it was no use. I was so surprised at her strength that my words caught in my throat.

     「Such a liar of a master makes me want to misbehave.」

     I was pushed down onto the bed.

     Her eyes glimmered with a dazzling brilliance that I had never seen before.

     Thinking about it now, it was normal for humans to keep animals as pets, but no matter how well-tamed they were, animals were still much stronger than us. I felt like even a large dog walking around the neighborhood could eat a human if it really wanted to. In this moment, I understood that deeply.

     I’m sure that’s why we were good at training animals.

     Sorahashi-san wasn’t a dog or some other animal, but I still had to properly train her.

     No, what sort of stupid—

      「Arf arf.」

     The line between dog and human began to blur. She barked and deftly pulled down the zipper of my jersey. Then, I felt a slight pain in my neck.

     I knew she was biting me. It wasn’t very hard, though.

     I was still sweaty after all that exercise, so I wished she wasn’t this close to me. Contrary to my wishes, she lightly sniffed the nape of my neck and then ran her tongue over it.

     「I was in the wrong, okay? …Someone’s gonna come.」

     「Woof.」

     Sorahashi-san wasn’t using human words. And yet, as if wanting me to pick up on something, she continued licking at my skin. Her tongue ran up my neck, across my cheek… and finally, over to my nose.

     「Hey! Don’t lick my blood, that’s unsanitary! Hey, Sorahashi-san…!」

     Her tongue, which had been licking at my nose, now moved over to my hand. She maneuvered her tongue as if to wipe away the blood that had been stuck to me. I felt that slimy sensation of blood being overwritten by the feeling of her saliva.

     This was strange. It wasn’t normal at all. It was crazy to lick up someone else’s nosebleed, and in the first place, we were inside a school — inside the nurse’s office. The foundation of my normal everyday life had crumbled away, and now I was falling into the bizarre.

     「Woof, woof. …Woof.」

     Biting. Licking. Again, biting.

     I thought language was the pinnacle of communication, but unexpectedly, that may not have been the case. What I felt was that we, as humans, had forgotten how even the most animalistic of behaviors had the power to convey emotions.

     When you did something wrong, you ought to apologize.

     That was what we were taught, but that was a method limited to communication between two humans. If you weren’t communicating with a human, then the words “I’m sorry” were thoroughly meaningless.

     That’s what was going through my mind.

     「Sera.」

     Hearing me call her name, she stopped.

     「I’m sorry.」

     I apologized again, but it didn’t seem to have done anything. I took a small breath and touched her back. I remembered how in the past, I was scared to touch my friend’s dog. The feeling of a living thing was surprisingly warm, and the sense that it would break if I handled it too roughly made me anxious. Even for someone who wasn’t a friend nor a family member, it was the same.

     Honestly, I didn’t get it at all. I knew I said I’d be her master, but I was still totally confused. Sorahashi-san played the role of dog without hesitation, but I still wasn’t quite capable in the role of her master.

     My hands gently began to move.

     I stroked her back, and then moved on to her head.

     My left hand, which was free of blood, was a little difficult to move. I put my all into stroking her back as if I was petting a dog, but she seemed a bit dissatisfied. I wondered if I wasn’t petting her head enough, but when I tried it, her expression didn’t change at all.

     「…Is that the only place you’re going to touch?」

     Right then, she finally spoke like a human.

     For a moment, I froze. Even if she said that…

     While I was confused, she took my hand and placed it under her clothes so that I touched her stomach. I was surprised at the contact and flinched, nearly pulling away. As if I was being stitched into her solemn gaze, I stroked her stomach.

     It was a smooth surface, with a bumpy feeling that gave away her firm muscles. I could tell just by touching her belly button that it was shaped nicely.

     I’d never done anything like this for even Mizuki. I’d washed her back for her before, but the front was something she’d take care of herself. This was the first time I’d known how nice it felt to touch someone else’s stomach.

     My face was hot.

     I’d never had such close contact with anyone else before, so I was scared and anxious. But more than that…

     Just a little bit, it felt good.

     No, no. What had I been thinking just now? I just wanted to make sure Sorahashi-san didn’t get into any danger. I was just doing my best because she was relying on me. That should have been all it was, so why?

     My heartbeat quickened.

     I felt like an orb rolling downhill.

     An unfamiliar sense of unease passed through my heart, but in the next moment, that feeling was erased by the hurried pounding of my heart.

     I kept telling myself this was wrong and that was wrong, but how exactly was it wrong?

     「There there, there there…」

     Before I knew it, I had ended up on top.

     Perhaps because I had been the one pushed down earlier, I felt oddly gratified. I had taken back control and continued petting her. It was like the fundamental human desire to dominate was being roused, but I was being anchored down by that sense of social rationality that had been instilled in me over the past dozen years.

     This was an apology. You had to apologize if you did something wrong.

     「Master. Do it properly, please?」

     She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close. When my nose touched her neck, I smelled the scent of life. It was her natural scent, and it made my head spin. It was different from the usual refreshing scent of the ocean that she usually had. I felt my heart flutter.

     Slowly, I stroked her stomach. Passing over her ribcage, I bumped into something that wasn’t skin. When my fingers slid underneath, I felt something soft. I thought I’d made a mistake and tried to pull my hand away, but that softness kept me in place.

     My trembling fingertips slid in further on their own accord.

     The body was quite the busy, complex thing. It could be firm, it could be soft, it could be warm, it could be cold.

     I heard a drip.

     A red hue spread over her lips. I suddenly realized that several red droplets had fallen all over her face. The once-stemmed blood had begun to flow again.

     She licked her lips and laughed.

     The redness burned into my eyes.

     「It tastes like life.」

     「…」

     I gently felt her neck.

     My chest felt strange. As I traced the flowing blood with my gaze, I began to feel, just a little, that I wanted more. But that’s…

     That was ridiculous, truly.

     This wasn’t me. I wanted to be more… I wanted more…

     …Really?

     「Oh, is someone here?」

     At that moment, a voice came from the hallway and the door to the nurse’s office opened. I reflexively got up and left the bed.

     「Sorry. You were gone, but I just wanted to borrow a bed.」

     「Woah, look at all that blood. Give me just a moment.」

     As I pinched my nose, the teacher bustled all over the room. I glanced over to the bed, but Sorahashi-san had already up and disappeared before I realized it.

     I began to fall under the illusion that it was all a daydream.

     But the lingering feeling of her on my neck — the sensation of her saliva — those were all very much real.

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^[1] Changes in weather can affect barometric pressure enough to trigger symptoms such as headaches and joint pain.

^[2] In the Japanese text, Yume refers to herself with her own name in place of the first person pronoun “I”. This is a common grammatical misstep made by children, and also intentionally done by some girls and women for the purpose of coming off as cute and innocent. That would sound really weird and confusing in English, which is why I just omitted it.

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