I hadn’t been alive for that long, but today felt like the most unsettling day of my life.

         The reason for that was simple: everything around me was new.

         I was surrounded by an unfamiliar bookshelf, an unfamiliar bed, an unfamiliar closet, and an unfamiliar view outside my window.

         This new room I’d just moved into didn’t really feel like it belonged to me.

         Maybe if I opened up some of my boxes full of things from my past and took everything out, it would help make the room feel more like mine. But I’d just moved in today, and I didn’t really have the energy to do that yet.

         「Ahh, what do I do?」

         I said a little loudly, at a loss for ideas.

         Sendai-san, who would normally be home right now, still hadn’t come back yet.

         I felt a little bad about it, but I was the one who had asked her to leave the apartment.

         I’d asked her to leave simply because I couldn’t deal with both the movers and Sendai-san at the same time, and if I could only handle one, then I had no choice but to get Sendai-san out of the apartment. She’d said, “You can just pretend I’m not here,” but I felt too nervous about interacting with someone else in front of her, so I ended up searching for an excuse to make her go.

         It was easier to have her leave until I was done moving everything in.

         I sat down on my new bed that I’d bought for this room.

         But it felt so strangely different that I stood right back up.

         This bed, which was technically mine but didn’t feel like mine, hammered in the reality that I was living in a new place now. I frowned, then dove back into the bed, burying my face in the pillow. It smelled different from the pillow I’d always used. Even when I looked up, I couldn’t escape that new smell, because everything in this room was new. I couldn’t help but feel like I was already starting to regret moving in here.

         On graduation day, I was the one who’d chosen to live with Sendai-san.

         Although she was the one who’d given me two choices, in the end I was the one who put the necklace I’d given her back around her neck, and chose the cherry blossom–colored envelope. I had hesitated a little, but ultimately I was the one who decided to share a place with her.

         But right now, I couldn’t help feeling anxious.

         About this unfamiliar room.

         This unfamiliar furniture.

         This unfamiliar scenery.

         And finally, even the familiar Sendai-san.

         Everything here felt new, and the optimism I’d had before moving in had already been replaced by unease. I couldn’t help but feel like I just wanted to run away.

         Ever since my mother disappeared from my life, I’d lived with only my father—but he was hardly ever home either. To me, “home” had always meant a place where someone else technically lived, but never actually came back to.

         But this new home was different.

         It was a place where there would always be someone besides me here, and that person would come home every day.

         Sendai-san wasn’t here right now, but she would be back soon. She would eat her meals here, study here, and read her books here. And sometimes, she’d probably come and talk to me. I’d be spending my days here with Sendai-san, either in the room next to mine or in our shared living space.

         I knew that—but it still felt so different from the life I’d always known, and it made me uneasy.

         A home where someone would actually come home to… that was something I’d never had before.

         Not that I wanted to go back to how things used to be.

         I turned my body and lay on my back.

         There would be no more mornings or nights spent alone here anymore.

         I wouldn’t feel scared about getting up in the middle of the night anymore, afraid that someone might be standing behind me. I’d feel at ease knowing Sendai-san was just in the room next to mine. For the next four years, I wouldn’t have to live in fear of the dark.

         Promises weren’t absolute and could easily be broken, but it should be fine as long as I kept my expectations in check.

         I closed my eyes tightly for a moment, then opened them again.

         Sendai-san was the kind of person who always pushed the final decision onto me, and sometimes she lied to me too. But I’d come to accept that that was who she was, so I was prepared. Since becoming roommates with her was never something I’d expected, it didn’t matter if it ended sooner than I thought. If I just told myself that and braced for it, I should be able to handle whatever happened. Even if I ended up living alone, as long as I thought of it as something inevitable, I’d be fine.

         I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

         It felt like there were more good things than bad about moving into this new place, but my anxiety kept making me search for every possible negative outcome.

         This wasn’t good.

         I didn’t feel like it, but maybe I should clean up my room. Lying around doing nothing only filled my head with thoughts I didn’t want.

         I stood up, and among the many cardboard boxes I had, I opened one labeled “stuffed animals.” I pulled out a crocodile tissue box cover and a stuffed black cat.

         I placed the crocodile tissue box cover under my table.

         I needed a tissue box for it, but I didn’t have any in the boxes I’d brought. I figured if I asked Sendai-san, she’d probably have one lying around, but since she wasn’t here, I decided to just leave the empty crocodile cover where it was.

         I placed the stuffed black cat plush on my bed, but paused to think for a moment.

         This was my room, but unlike before, there was a chance someone else might enter. I doubted Sendai-san would come in without permission, but still, it was possible.

         「I’ll put you right here.」

         I said as I moved the black cat plush onto the bookshelf.

         On the otherwise empty bookshelf, the black cat now sat alone.

         It looked lonely, so I gave its head a little pat and comforted it, saying, “I’ll bring some books over for you.”

         「Which box were they in…?」

         After checking through the cardboard boxes, I found the one labeled “books.” I opened it and placed some of my favorites on the shelf behind the black cat plush. Just then, I heard a knock at my door.

         「Miyagi.」

         I heard Sendai-san’s voice from the other side, and I opened my door slightly.

         「I’m home.」

         I wasn’t sure why, but she spoke with excitement in her voice.

         「Welcome home.」

         I answered, using a phrase I almost never said to anyone, and stepped out into our shared living space.

         I closed the door behind me and looked at Sendai-san.

         Back at my old home, where my father never came back, I’d never had a reason to say “Welcome home.” I used to say “I’m home,” even when no one was there, but I almost never said “Welcome home.”

         Those words still hadn’t really sunk in for me.

         But they weren’t words I disliked.

         Unlike yesterday, when it felt like there was no one who needed to hear them, now it felt like there was. That alone seemed like one of the reasons I’d moved here, and it didn’t feel like a bad thing. The “Welcome home” Sendai-san had said to me earlier, when I first arrived, wasn’t something I disliked either. It made me feel like this was where I belonged.

         There were still so many things in this new place that I hadn’t gotten used to, but it didn’t feel like a bad thing that saying “I’m home” would be answered with a “Welcome home.”

         「How’s your room looking, Miyagi? Do you think you’ll be able to unpack everything by yourself?」

         「Yeah, probably. At the very least, I have my bed set up already.」

         I hadn’t opened most of the cardboard boxes I’d brought yet, but I could sort through them slowly. There was still some time before classes started.

         「Do you need any help with unpacking?」

         「I’m good. You should focus on setting up your own room, Sendai-san.」

         「I’m almost done with mine, so I’m happy to help you with yours.」

         「It’s fine. I can do it myself.」

         It wasn’t like I had anything I needed to hide, but I wanted to organize and put everything away myself. I’d asked Sendai-san to organize my bookshelf once before, but this was different. Since I was essentially building my room from scratch, I wanted to be the one to do it.

         「Can I see your room?」

         Sendai-san asked, pointing at the door behind me.

         「No. I’m not done cleaning everything up yet.」

         I had no intention of letting her in while the room was still filled with nothing but cardboard boxes. Even if I were to let her in sometime, it’d have to be after everything was organized and put away.

         「Oh, right. Where’d you set up your bed?」

         Sendai-san asked with a smile.

         「Why do you ask?」

         「I was just curious. I set up my bed next to that wall. What about you?」

         The finger Sendai-san had used to point at my bedroom door earlier was now pointing at the wall separating my room from hers.

         「Mine’s against that wall too.」

         I didn’t have any particular preference for where to put my bed, but somehow I felt it’d be better to have it close to someone else, so I ended up placing it against the wall next to Sendai-san’s room.

         「Maybe we’ll be able to converse through the walls at night.」

         Sendai-san said, spouting something totally ridiculous.

         「That’d probably be a nuisance to our neighbors, so let’s not do that.」

         「I was just kidding. It’d be a pain if we disturbed the neighbors and they filed a noise complaint against us.」

         Sendai-san took a seat in a chair in our shared living space, still smiling. Then she looked at me and said, “Somehow, this all feels so weird.”

         「Why does it feel weird?」

         「Because I don’t have to go back to my old home anymore.」

         「… You don’t want to go home anymore, Sendai-san?」

         「Yeah. That’s exactly why I’m here.」

         「… You’re not going to visit at all in the next four years?」

         「I’m not going back ever.」

         The conversation stalled, and Sendai-san’s voice faded. Since I didn’t really have much to say either, silence fell between us, and I felt a little uncomfortable.

         「Sendai-san, do you have any tissue boxes?」

         Feeling that the silence would only make things worse, I blurted out something I’d just remembered I was missing.

         「Yeah, I have some in my room. Do you want me to bring one?」

         「You don’t have to do it right now, but if you have any extras, could you give me one?」

         「Sure. I’ll get it for you later.」

         Sendai-san said kindly, and the silence returned once more. We were just former classmates turned roommates. Nothing major should’ve changed between us, but I still felt at a loss whenever we were together.

         「Oh, right! Should we celebrate you moving in today?」

         Sendai-san spoke up, probably feeling the same way as me.

         「We don’t have to do that… I just want to stop by the convenience store.」

         This felt impossible to deal with.

         Rather than staying here and putting up with this awkward atmosphere, I’d much rather be outside.

         「Was there something you needed to buy at the convenience store?」

         「I just wanted to get something to eat.」

         「If that’s the case, why don’t we go out for dinner together?」

         「I’m okay with convenience store food.」

         There was no point in going outside if I wasn’t going to be alone. If she came along, we’d just be bringing this awkward atmosphere with us, and it wouldn’t be any different than staying here.

         「I see. Then how about I come with you? You don’t know where the convenience store is, right?」

         「I do. I saw it on the way here.」

         「You might still get lost, though.」

         「I won’t. I’ll get you something even if you don’t come with me. Is there anything you want to eat, Sendai-san?」

         「I’ll only know what I want once I see it for myself, so I’m coming with you.」

         Sendai-san stood up, smiling.

         No matter what I said, she was dead set on coming along, and I wasn’t happy about it. I didn’t have to go to the convenience store, so I could’ve told her to go alone while I stayed home instead, but if I said that, she’d probably back down and decide not to go at all, and we’d be back to square one.

         Even though we hadn’t seen each other in a while, Sendai-san was as annoying as ever. But it was just like her to be this way.

         「Miyagi. Today marks our first day as roommates, so why don’t we go out together?」

         Sendai-san said with a grin, completely unwilling to back down.

         I didn’t really like celebrating dates, and I really didn’t like that she’d made some special commemoration on her own.

         「Today’s just like any other day.」

         「Well, even if it is, it’s pretty normal to go to the convenience store together on any other day, too, right?」

         「… I guess that’s true.」

         Sendai-san was blocking all my escape routes, and I was at a loss for words. I started to feel like the villain for refusing something as simple as going to the convenience store with her.

         「Well, that’s settled, then. I’m going to grab stuff from my room, so wait for me.」

         Sendai-san headed back to her room.

         She was pushy as always.

         Even after graduation, she still made me choose things when the answer was already decided for me from the start.

         I let out a sigh.

         Though my new life seemed filled with things to worry about, I felt a bit relieved seeing Sendai-san act the same way she always had. I wasn’t sure if our life together would be smooth sailing, but if possible, I wanted to spend our days together the same way we had in high school.

         ─ But I wasn’t confident we’d be able to do that.

         I went to my own room and grabbed my bag, then walked back into the shared living space, closing my bedroom door behind me.

         I placed my hand on my door.

         「I’ll be off.」

         I mumbled softly before taking a seat in a chair Sendai-san had picked out and waited for her.

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