「So, what do you want me to do?」

         Sendai-san said quietly. That soft tone reminded me of yesterday, and my heart started to pound. It made me remember what I’d said then, something I wished she’d forget, and I tightened my grip on her clothes.

         I hadn’t meant what I said yesterday. I’d only said it because she’d gotten home so late.

         But even if I regretted it now, there was nothing I could do, so I tried to come up with an excuse that would make me feel better.

         Memories faded with time. Everything would be fine eventually.

         Even the things stuck in Sendai-san’s mind would fade away someday, so she’d eventually forget about yesterday, too.

         「Lift this part up for me.」

         I said, tugging lightly on her shirt before letting go.

         There was no reason to say something I didn’t mean again today. All I wanted was for her to lift her shirt a little so I could check the marks I’d left on her. That was all. Nothing like yesterday would happen again.

         「Is this okay?」

         Sendai-san lifted the hem of her shirt without hesitation. But only a little—just enough for me to see two of the marks I’d left on her.

         「Lift it higher.」

         Though she heard me clearly, she lowered it instead.

         「You already got a good look, didn’t you? That should be enough.」

         「No, it’s not. Lift it up properly.」

         「No.」

         「Why not? You’re supposed to do what I say.」

         「You said this wasn’t a punishment, remember? So I’m not “supposed” to do anything. I showed you some of the marks already—that’s enough.」

         Her tone was firm, leaving no room for argument.

         Before I could reach my hand out to her, she pressed her hand against her clothes, holding them down.

         It was hard to believe this was the same person who had taken off all her clothes in front of me, who had removed her bra and shown me her breasts and stomach without hesitation.

         「You said I could do whatever I wanted, didn’t you?」

         I knew this wasn’t supposed to be a punishment, and she wasn’t obligated to listen, but if she said I could do whatever I wanted, then she should let me.

         「Do you really want to see the hickeys you left on me that badly?」

         「They’re not hickeys. They’re just marks.」

         「Either way, I’m not showing you any more of them.」

         Her voice was strong, but I couldn’t accept that—not now.

         She needed to take responsibility for what she’d said, to let me see more than just two marks.

         And if I wanted to touch her, I should be allowed to do that too.

         Looking for a way to make her give in, I pushed her shoulders and put my weight on her, forcing her down onto the floor.

         「Ow!」

         Her back hit the floor hard.

         「If you’re going to push me down, at least say something first. That could’ve been dangerous.」

         Ignoring her, I lifted the hem of her knit sweater up to the bottom of her chest and traced my fingers over the red marks.

         One by her belly button, one above her ribs, another below, and one near her side.

         I stroked each mark I’d left yesterday. There were so many that counting them felt pointless. My fingers brushed her bra, and I hesitated, wondering whether to remove it. As I traced the lace that covered the edges of her breasts, Sendai-san grabbed my hand.

         「I didn’t say you could move.」

         「Miyagi, do you really think I’ll do whatever you want just because you tell me to?」

         「I’m not going to lift your shirt up any further, and I’m not taking your bra off either, so just do as I say.」

         I touched her chest lightly over the fabric, and she looked at me with a sullen expression.

         「Do you really think I’ll just listen to you?」

         「You should.」

         I pressed down hard on one of the red marks.

         Touching them confirmed something for me—that there was a version of Sendai-san that only I knew.

         And I wouldn’t let anyone, not even her, get in the way of that.

         「… Fine. Just don’t touch me anywhere besides what you can already see.」

         Her body relaxed as she spoke, sounding resigned.

         I traced the marks again slowly. My fingers slid over her smooth skin, my nails digging into the marks I’d already made. I pressed my palm against her body, feeling her warmth as I covered one of the red marks.

         The scattered marks dotted her pale skin, even in places hidden beneath her clothes.

         I remembered where I’d pressed my lips yesterday.

         Over her clothes, I brushed my hand along the spots where those marks should be.

         Guided by that memory, I traced what I couldn’t see, then let my fingers slide back to the mark on her side that was visible.

         In the marks—both the ones I could see and the ones I couldn’t—I could still feel traces of myself lingering on her body.

         They were a deep red, far too dark to fade anytime soon.

         And before they could disappear, I wanted to leave more traces of myself behind.

         I lowered my head and pressed my lips close to one of the red marks.

         I gently sank my teeth into the spot just above her belly button, then began to suck on it.

         The truth was, I wanted to leave marks where everyone could see them.

         I also wanted to leave marks on her back, which I hadn’t done yesterday.

         If I could, I wanted to cover Sendai-san’s entire body with them.

         I wanted anyone who ever looked at her to know she already belonged to someone else.

         And if she ever looked at someone else, I wanted her to remember right away who she belonged to as well.

         I knew it was irrational, possessive, even strange—but I couldn’t stop myself.

         So I left another mark on her body.

         I moved my lips to a different spot on her stomach. After leaving four marks, Sendai-san spoke up quietly.

         「Didn’t you say you were only going to look?」

         「Those ones looked like they were about to disappear, so I wanted to make sure they didn’t.」

         I looked up at her as I answered, and she replied in a low voice.

         「When I checked this morning, I didn’t see any that looked like they were going to fade anytime soon. And you added a few more just now, didn’t you?」

         「Well, that was this morning. Some of them looked like they were starting to fade just now, so I put them back—and added a few more while I was at it.」

         「Didn’t you say you’d only add more if I broke my promise of not telling you when I’d be home late? I didn’t break it today, you know.」

         「You already have so many marks on you. What’s one or two more?」

         I sucked hard on the skin just beneath her ribs, leaving another mark behind.

         「This isn’t just “one or two” anymore. And you just added another one.」

         「… What’s with you today, Sendai-san?」

         I asked Sendai-san. It was rare for her to be so openly dissatisfied.

         「What do you mean?」

         「You don’t usually get this upset when I do things like this to you.」

         I said as I rubbed the red mark on her side and looked at her. She grabbed my hand and pulled it away from her stomach.

         「Sendai-san, you were being compliant just a little while ago. What’s going on with you now?」

         Sendai-san let out a quiet sigh as she straightened her clothes. Then she sat up and pulled me into an embrace while I was still straddling her legs.

         「Did you have another dream yesterday, Miyagi?」

         She asked, mumbling.

         「Why are you asking that all of a sudden?」

         「Tell me. Did you have a strange dream last night?」

         I knew exactly what kind of dream she meant—the one I’d told her about yesterday. She remembered it, and now she was bringing it up again.

         「… What do you mean by “strange”?」

         I played dumb, not wanting to reinforce her memory, but she didn’t answer my question.

         「I had a dream like that last night. That’s why having you do something like this to me makes me feel kind of troubled.」

         I couldn’t see her expression, but I could feel her body heat as we pressed our bodies together.

         「I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.」

         「I know. But I feel troubled anyway.」

         As she spoke, Sendai-san slipped her hand under my clothes. Her fingers traced up my lower back, following the line of my spine. Every time she moved, her warmth carried something more than just a ticklish sensation along my skin.

         「I want you to feel that way too, Miyagi.」

         「No. This isn’t normal for roommates.」

         I pushed her away by the shoulders. She pulled away slightly, and I finally saw her face.

         「Then are you saying what you were doing to me earlier is normal for roommates?」

         She spoke softly, looking at me with an unusually serious expression.

         「… Yeah.」

         「If that’s the case, then I can do the same thing to you, right?」

         Her hand began to move, softly stroking my side before her palm pressed against me. Distracted by the warmth of her touch, I was caught off guard when she bit my shoulder through my clothes, and I shoved her away.

         「Don’t do that, Sendai-san.」

         「Why not? Isn’t it strange that I’m the only one with marks on my body?」

         「It’s not strange at all.」

         「Leaving one or two behind wouldn’t hurt, right?」

         「No. I don’t want you to.」

         「Then at least let me touch you.」

         I didn’t understand how she’d gone from leaving marks to touching me, but when she tried to lift my shirt, I grabbed her hand and snapped back with,

         「I don’t like it when you touch me. The way you do it feels perverted.」

         「So you are aware of it. Then why don’t you feel as troubled as I do?」

         It wasn’t that I didn’t feel that way.

         Sendai-san’s touch always felt good, and the sense of reason that should’ve been rejecting her was always on the verge of collapsing.

         Her body heat seeped through the cracks left by my failing self-control, widening them, tearing apart what little restraint I had left.

         I’d already become that version of myself once—on Sendai-san’s bed—feeling good, feeling ashamed. It was something I could never forget.

         Even now, just remembering that day made my throat dry, even though I’d just been drinking orange juice.

         If I let things like that happen again and again, I wouldn’t be able to stay myself. I didn’t even understand what I wanted now, and if it happened again, I felt like I’d understand even less.

         「Come on, Miyagi. Just give up on your sense of reason already.」

         She said softly, her voice seeping into my head, and I let out a small sigh.

         My body felt hot.

         I really didn’t know what I wanted us to be. I didn’t know where I wanted us to go from here.

         Even though I was the one who had said I wanted us to stay nothing more than roommates, I was starting to doubt whether that had been the right choice.

         Still, even if it felt like I knew nothing, there was one thing I was sure of—I wanted Sendai-san to stay here.

         「Sendai-san.」

         I called her name quietly.

         「What is it?」

         I let go of the hand I had been holding onto and brushed my fingers against her earring.

         「As long as you don’t go anywhere, you can do whatever you want to me.」

         「I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay right here.」

         Sendai-san said that as she hugged me, speaking lies.

         「You’ll stay here and not go to work or university, then?」

         There was no way she could do that.

         Sendai-san would keep going to university and to her jobs.

         It was impossible for either of us to stay here and never go anywhere else.

         As if to prove that, Sendai-san didn’t answer.

         I pushed our bodies apart and bit down on her lips. I sank my teeth in hard enough to leave a wound, then licked away the small amount of blood that appeared.

         「That hurt, Miyagi.」

         Her voice was flat.

         It hurt for me too.

         There was no wound on me, yet I still felt pain anyway.

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