This is fun.

          I’m having fun.

          This is really, really fun.

          Thinking that, I looked around. The university, caught up in the middle of the school festival, was filled with a bright, lively atmosphere. Just being there was enough to lift my mood.

          — As long as I ignored the sounds coming from right beside me.

          「What are you doing, Sendai-san?」

          I called out toward the source of the noise.

          「Just taking some pictures.」

          「Stop that and watch where you’re going.」

          A shutter sound echoed through the corridor of the second building as the three of us walked side by side. I tapped Sendai-san on the shoulder, but she knew I couldn’t be too harsh in front of Maika, so she kept using her phone.

          It was really annoying.

          「I’m going to confiscate your phone if you take any more pictures.」

          I stopped walking and reached for Sendai-san, who still had her phone raised. She dodged my hand easily, and another shutter sound rang out down the hallway.

          If we were in my room, I would have thrown the crocodile tissue box at her. But it wasn’t here right now, and I couldn’t kick her either, so all I could do was call her name.

          「Sendai-san!」

          「Come on, Shiori. All she’s doing is taking pictures.」

          Maika laughed as she spoke.

          「Look over here for a second, Utsunomiya.」

          Sendai-san pointed her phone at Maika.

          Maika smiled, and the shutter clicked again.

          I took a few longer steps and walked ahead of them.

          I shouldn’t be letting this bother me.

          The fact that Maika’s smile was now saved on Sendai-san’s phone shouldn’t matter.

          「If we keep wasting time taking pictures, we’re going to be late for the talk show.」

          I called back to them and took another step forward, but someone tugged at my hoodie, stopping me.

          「We’ll be fine even if we don’t rush. Come on, let’s take one with all three of us.」

          Sendai-san said as she pulled on my hoodie, then let go and linked her arm with mine. Maika clung to my other arm as if it were natural. The three of us appeared together on Sendai-san’s phone screen.

          「Alright, I’m taking it now.」

          The shutter sounded, and she finally put her phone away.

          「Last year, I never would’ve imagined taking pictures with you like this, Sendai-san.」

          Maika said as we walked toward the venue.

          「I didn’t think the three of us would be taking pictures together like this either.」

          Sendai-san replied cheerfully. I brushed my fingers against my own neck.

          I shouldn’t be getting this worked up over pictures.

          Thinking that, the three of us kept walking down the hallway side by side.

          Not long after, we reached the venue and handed our tickets to the staff. We took seats near the back of the lecture hall when Maika suddenly called out to someone.

          「Asakura-san!」

          「Oh, Utsunomiya-san. Miyagi-san too. Is this the friend you said you were coming with… Wait, this is your friend?」

          Asakura-san, who I’d become friends with shortly after starting university, stopped in the aisle and looked at us, or more specifically, at Sendai-san. I’d told her I was coming to the talk show with a friend, but the person standing next to me must have been so unexpected that she felt the need to ask twice.

          「I’m Sendai. The three of us went to the same high school.」

          Sendai-san introduced herself to Asakura-san with a kind, polite smile.

          I’d seen that version of her many times back in high school, but I’d never really liked it.

          「Oh, uh… I see. Um… I’m Asakura.」

          Asakura-san bowed her head slightly, stumbling over her words. She looked uncomfortable, and Maika spoke up gently.

          「Are you okay, Asakura-san? You seem a bit stiff.」

          「Your friend feels so different from the two of you, so I’m just a little nervous.」

          「Would it be better if I stepped away?」

          Sendai-san said with a smile as she started to stand, but Asakura-san quickly pointed toward the front of the lecture hall.

          「No, um, I actually have a friend waiting for me over there. I’ll see you later, Utsunomiya-san. Miyagi-san too.」

          She hurried down the aisle before anyone could stop her.

          「Oh, Asakura-san, wait! About the book I borrowed the other day—」

          Maika said, rising to her feet, but Asakura-san didn’t slow down or seem to hear her.

          「Sorry, I’ll be right back.」

          Maika said this, then hurried after her, leaving me and Sendai-san behind.

          「… You’ve never mentioned an “Asakura” before.」

          Sendai-san murmured, glancing at me.

          「That’s because I’ve never told you about her.」

          「You should have.」

          「It’s not like I have to tell you everything, do I?」

          I had no obligation to tell Sendai-san about all of my friendships. I didn’t know anything about her friends either, so I didn’t think it was fair for her to blame me for not mentioning Asakura-san sooner.

          「… I guess not.」

          Sendai-san, who had been looking at me, turned her gaze forward again. Seeing her not look at me now, when Maika was gone, made my chest ache slightly.

          I reached out and brushed my hand against the knit fabric covering her neck. Then, like a small prank, or the way friends tease each other, I tugged lightly at the collar.

          「Miyagi, you’re going to stretch it if you pull on it.」

          Sendai-san, who had been facing forward, turned back to look at me, speaking in the same tone she’d used with Maika.

          Sendai-san didn’t feel like herself today.

          Even though I’d marked her and she belonged to me, she didn’t feel like my Sendai-san.

          She took pictures with Maika and didn’t look at me.

          I couldn’t forgive her for even things that trivial.

          Everything kept piling up. If it had been anyone else, it wouldn’t have mattered, but because it was Sendai-san, it felt like a big deal.

          「Miyagi, if you pull any harder, it’ll show, and I won’t be able to keep my promise to you. Are you really okay with that?」

          「No. Keep your promise.」

          Beneath her knit sweater was a mark that proved she belonged to me. No matter who she was with, who she talked to, or what she did, that never changed. And yet I still felt anxious. The unease that touching her had once calmed always came back so easily.

          「If you want me to keep my promise, then cooperate with me.」

          Sendai-san was right.

          And yet, I couldn’t pull my hand away.

          「Fine. I won’t care what happens when Utsunomiya comes back.」

          Sendai-san muttered, and just hearing that name sent a chill down my spine.

          My body kept reacting to every little thing. My emotions kept wavering.

          Why?

          I didn’t know why I felt like this.

          Why I couldn’t accept Sendai-san forming any kind of connection with anyone else.

          I’d told myself for a long time that I didn’t understand why I felt this way.

          But that was a lie.

          I knew.

          I’d been feeling it all day. There was no way I didn’t know.

          I’d always known.

          That what I was feeling… was possessiveness.

          The reason why I wanted to keep Sendai-san all to myself was because I was possessive.

          I pulled my hand away from Sendai-san and let out a slow breath.

          No. There was no way that was it.

          Sendai-san and I were just roommates. We didn’t have the kind of relationship where I should be feeling something like this. What I was feeling now was close to it, but it wasn’t the same.

          This wasn’t possessiveness.

          It wasn’t that. It was different.

          Or maybe it wasn’t all that different after all.

          But if this really was possessiveness, then where did this feeling even come from—?

          「Miyagi?」

          Sendai-san called out to me, but I kept my eyes forward.

          I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now.

          We were in the middle of the school festival, and this wasn’t something I should have been thinking about.

          「I’m sorry.」

          「Huh?」

          「I’m sorry for pulling on your sweater.」

          I took a breath in, then slowly let it out.

          The word possessiveness, which had surfaced out of nowhere, kept flashing in front of me, making me want to run away. But I couldn’t. Maika would be back any moment now. And even if I did run, the word I’d uncovered wouldn’t disappear. It would stay with me, lodged firmly in my mind.

          「I’m back.」

          I heard Maika’s voice, and Sendai-san started talking with her again like nothing had happened. Wanting to bury the word I never wanted to know deep inside my chest, I joined the conversation too.

          Soon enough, the talk show began, and the voice I recognized from the anime filled the lecture hall.

          Listening to the stories I’d been looking forward to was fun.

          But it was fun only on the surface. The word I couldn’t bury kept poking its head up, and I couldn’t fully enjoy myself. No matter what I tried to focus on, my attention kept drifting back to Sendai-san beside me.

          There was a disconnect between my body and my feelings, and it felt awful.

          My body felt bright and light, like I was having fun, but my feelings were sealed into something gray and heavy, dragging me down.

          Having fun didn’t erase the word I’d realized, no matter how much I tried to enjoy myself.

          I was having fun, yet I was bored at the same time, and it was splitting me apart.

          The talk show ended while I was still stuck in that limbo, and I stood up from my seat.

          The school festival was full of events, and we picked a few others to see. We stopped by the food stalls again, took more pictures, talked, and before I knew it, time flew by. Eventually, we parted ways with Maika and got on the train.

          I usually took this train alone, but today there were two of us.

          With Sendai-san sitting next to me, I felt uneasy.

          The half of my body closest to her felt like it wanted to drift toward her, and I didn’t know what to do with myself like that.

          The train rocked, shaking up today’s memories, and the fun and boring parts of the festival blurred together and rolled around inside me.

          Last year, I’d gone to the cultural festival with Maika and Ami.

          This year, Sendai-san had taken Ami’s place. It wasn’t that Ami and I had grown distant. We lived in different places now. Our circumstances had changed. That kind of thing wasn’t unusual. People moved closer, then farther apart, all the time.

          The same thing might happen to me and Sendai-san someday.

          This year, she was by my side.

          But next year, she might not be.

          Even though we’d made promises about the years ahead, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that way.

          And if this uncertain future scared me that much, then maybe it would be better to keep Sendai-san locked away at home.

          The moment that thought crossed my mind, I became aware of that word again.

          If I could, I wanted to let out a sigh and push it out of my head along with my breath.

          「This is our stop, Miyagi.」

          Sendai-san said, and we got off the train after what felt like a very long ride. We walked home while talking about the school festival, and before long we reached the front door. Sendai-san unlocked it and stepped inside. We headed into the shared living space together, but before heading to our rooms, she called out to me.

          「I had fun today. What about you, Miyagi?」

          「Do I have to answer that?」

          「You promised you’d tell me if you had fun, didn’t you?」

          I remembered making that promise on the way home from the aquarium.

          But I didn’t want to say it here.

          「I’ll answer if you come to my room.」

          I said as I opened the door to my room. Sendai-san followed behind me. Before sitting down in my usual spot, I reached for her neck.

          「Overall, I think I had fun.」

          I answered quietly and shifted the knit fabric covering the mark I’d left on her.

          The mark from this morning was still there.

          Red, and clearly visible.

          I traced it with my fingertips, then bit into her skin again.

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I’ve decided to continue accepting chapter debt for the foreseeable future.

Like before, for every 5000 yen ($35 USD) that gets crowdfunded (i.e. every dollar that gets contributed is counted towards this), we’ll add one chapter to the debt. Remember that this is completely OPTIONAL. This is NOT a service or product, but a tip/donation for extra motivation to translate / catch up faster.

Current debt as of writing this is 77.

Click here for the Ko-Fi link.

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