Miyagi really was selfish.

           There was no way she’d considered how I would feel about her leaving a mark on my inner thigh. Even so, I knew I was the one letting her do it, and I could never bring myself to stop her.

           「Miyagi, you said you wanted us to be nothing but roommates, right?」

           I grabbed Miyagi’s hand as it traced my inner thigh and pulled my skirt back down. I didn’t think she’d go any further than that, but I wasn’t sure what would happen if I lost my composure while she kept touching me there.

           「Yeah.」

           「Then act like it.」

           I sighed as I let go of her hand, got off the bed, and sat down beside her, pulling my knees in close.

           Lately, everything she’d been doing to me had gone way past what roommates were supposed to do.

           Normal roommates didn’t leave hickeys on each other’s inner thighs like she’d just done.

           I did want her to leave one there, but I knew I was pushing the definition of “roommates” way too far. Miyagi was the one who insisted we stay just normal roommates, so she shouldn’t have done something like that. If anything, she should’ve shut it down.

           「You’re not acting like a proper roommate either, you know.」

           Miyagi said quietly as she tugged at my skirt.

           「I’m at least trying.」

           I wanted us to be something other than just roommates, but at the same time, I had to rely on the word “roommate” because it was something Miyagi needed.

           Miyagi could be so unpredictable sometimes.

           I didn’t have the courage to force her out of the safety of being “roommates,” because I didn’t know what would happen if I did. And yet, I was selfishly trying to stretch that boundary wider and hoping she would accept it. She wanted things to stay ambiguous, but I kept pulling her toward me, wanting to turn those hazy, uncertain feelings into something tangible. Because I couldn’t stop myself from prodding at her feelings, my efforts to keep things normal ended up half-hearted.

           「If you were really trying, you wouldn’t be making me tell you to lick my feet, or having me lick yours.」

           「I didn’t take it any further than that, so it’s fine, isn’t it? That’s my way of being considerate.」

           If I had things my way, I would’ve pushed Miyagi down onto the bed and kissed her everywhere. I wanted to touch every part of her and spend the night together until morning. But I was suppressing those impure thoughts and respecting what she wanted.

           To be precise, it was my lack of courage that was holding my rationality together. So I didn’t want her to do anything that would make me forget that, or knock my rationality away. I knew how unreasonable I was being, but I also knew I wasn’t the only one acting that way.

           「… What do you mean by that? What did you actually want to do?」

           「I don’t mind telling you, but do you really want to hear it?」

           「No, I’m good.」

           Miyagi sounded dissatisfied as I stared at her.

           「I don’t mind you leaving hickeys on me, but at least let me decide where you leave them.」

           The marks she’d left on me over and over had started to feel like they belonged there. They bothered me when they were there, and they bothered me when they weren’t. If she left another mark in a place like the one just now, I felt like I’d start expecting more than just a mark, so I wanted her to stop. But if it were somewhere else, I still wanted her to leave one.

           「I told you, they’re not hickeys.」

           「Fine. Either way, let me decide where you leave them.」

           「… Then where do you want me to leave them?」

           「Where do you want to mark me?」

           I asked quietly. She stretched her arm out and pressed her palm firmly against my neck.

           「You left one here during the school festival, didn’t you? This spot kind of stands out, though.」

           「I want to leave one here.」

           「Is there a reason you want to leave it somewhere noticeable?」

           「… You’re mine, so I can do whatever I want, right?」

           As she spoke, she drew her hand away from my neck, and her lips took its place. She sucked at my skin slowly, and just like that, my outfit for tomorrow practically decided itself.

           This ritual of hers was hard for me to resist, and hearing her say those words made me want to offer myself up willingly.

           It felt good whenever Miyagi called me hers, almost like she was telling me she loved me.

           I knew those words were one-sided, spoken by someone who had no intention of becoming mine. They seemed sweet, like chocolate, but weren’t actually sweet at all. Even so, I wanted her to say them again and again, and I wanted to hear them every time. If it meant getting to hear those words, I found myself thinking I wouldn’t mind if she left a mark somewhere noticeable.

           I ran my fingers through Miyagi’s hair as she buried her face against my neck. Her black hair slipped smoothly through my fingers, and she sucked at my skin even harder.

           I wondered how many days this mark would stay.

           While I was thinking that, her lips pulled away, and her fingers traced over the mark she’d left.

           「Can I leave a mark on you too, Miyagi?」

           I asked, grabbing her fingers as they traced my skin, asking a question I already knew the answer to.

           「No.」

           「I figured you’d say that. You don’t belong to me, after all.」

           I let go of her hand and touched Miyagi’s earring.

           I traced the outline of the plumeria flower before kissing her ear.

           I had picked these earrings out for Miyagi as a way of wishing her happiness.

           Things had definitely changed since I chose these earrings.

           Miyagi still wouldn’t become mine, but she did want to make me hers. That felt like a big step forward, like the distance between us was closing. So I told myself that was enough.

           I used to think I could accept Miyagi not having feelings for me, as long as she didn’t like anyone else. Now, the closer I got to her, the harder it became to accept either.

           For now, I could keep things the way they were.

           But even so, I at least wanted something tangible.

           「Miyagi. If you’re going to say I belong to you, then you should actually keep me under your control.」

           「Under my control how? Do I really need to do that?」

           「You do. Make it more obvious that I belong to you.」

           「How?」

           「Like putting a collar on me again.」

           「I’ve never put a collar on you.」

           「Yes, you have.」

           I stood up, opened my drawer, and took out my jewelry case. From inside, I pulled out the pendant Miyagi had given me.

           「You haven’t forgotten about this already, have you? This is the collar you put on me back when we were still in high school.」

           I held the chain up for her to see, the moon-shaped charm swaying lightly.

           「That’s not a collar. It’s just a necklace.」

           「It’s basically a collar. You gave it to me for that reason, didn’t you?」

           「… What makes you think that?」

           「I don’t know. Why don’t you look inside yourself for the answer?」

           As I said that, I poked lightly at the spot over her heart. She slapped my hand away. Without saying anything, Miyagi reached for the pendant, so I closed my fingers around it before she could take it.

           「You picked this out yourself, right?」

           I showed her the pendant in my palm. She answered, sounding annoyed.

           「Yeah. So what?」

           「Then I want you to pick out a pair of earrings for me.」

           「Why are we suddenly talking about that?」

           「Because I don’t want to wear this again. If you’re the one choosing them, I’m fine with earrings.」

           「I never said you had to wear the necklace again, and I’m not picking out earrings for you.」

           「Then how else are you planning to keep me under your control?」

           「Well…」

           Miyagi hesitated and dropped her gaze.

           I couldn’t tell whether she noticed it or not.

           But just now, she hadn’t rejected the idea of keeping me under her control.

           That made me think she really did want that, and that when she called me hers, that was what she meant.

           「I don’t mind giving you all of me, but it feels unfair to give you everything and get nothing back. You don’t have to pay for it or anything. You can at least pick out an accessory for me, can’t you?」

           As I said that, I reached out, brushed my fingers over her earring, and tugged lightly on her earlobe.

           I’d said an accessory, but I didn’t really care what it was. Even if she ended up choosing an actual collar, I wouldn’t mind, as long as it was something Miyagi chose for me.

           「… I just need to choose a pair of earrings for you, right?」

           She stared at me as she spoke, clearly reluctant.

           「Yep.」

           I smiled, and Miyagi took a sip from my barley tea, which had probably gone lukewarm by now.

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I’ve decided to continue accepting chapter debt for the foreseeable future.

Like before, for every 5000 yen ($35 USD) that gets crowdfunded (i.e. every dollar that gets contributed is counted towards this), we’ll add one chapter to the debt. Remember that this is completely OPTIONAL. This is NOT a service or product, but a tip/donation for extra motivation to translate / catch up faster.

Current debt as of writing this is 81.

Click here for the Ko-Fi link.

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