Miyagi’s POV:

            “I don’t like being alone at home.”

            That was what I told Sendai-san yesterday, and while it was true, I shouldn’t have said it. Putting feelings like that into words only made my heart grow weaker. I should’ve swallowed them, digested them, and let them disappear inside me. If I’d ignored those feelings, I wouldn’t have had to acknowledge them, and eventually I could’ve forgotten they ever existed.

            But because I did put my feelings into words, I’d been filled with nothing but regret since this morning.

            The things I said and did to Sendai-san yesterday weighed heavily on me today.

            “If you don’t like being home alone, why don’t you come hang out at the café tomorrow?”

            That was what Sendai-san had said, and her words had been circling in my mind ever since. I tried to push them away, but to no avail. In the end, I reluctantly let them stay. Yet even while I was eating lunch or reading a book, hearing her voice echo in my head only dragged my mood down.

            Haah, I sighed.

            Even though it was Sunday—a day off—I couldn’t help but feel miserable.

            I set my book on the table and lay flat on the floor.

            It had been about an hour since I’d finished lunch, but I had no intention of taking her up on the suggestion she’d given me. At the same time, though, I hated the idea of staying home by myself.

            Being home alone really was the worst.

            It gave me too much time to dwell on things I shouldn’t have been thinking about—like what I said and did to Sendai-san yesterday—and agonize over whether or not I should visit her at the café she worked at, a decision that shouldn’t have been so difficult in the first place.

            If it had been the old me, I would’ve decided not to visit her at work without a second thought.

            I sat up and grabbed my phone from the table.

            Then I lay back down on the floor and stared at the screen.

            My hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it pulled up a map on my phone and searched for the café where Sendai-san worked. Before I knew it, my brain was already processing the information on the screen.

            I can get there without getting lost.

            My emotions began to stir on their own, and an image of myself meeting Sendai-san there flashed through my mind.

            Haah, I let out another sigh.

            If I saw Sendai-san working at the café, I’d probably start wondering what she was like when she worked as a private tutor too. Even though I knew it was impossible to know every side of her, I’d find myself wanting to know the impossible anyway.

            And after that, I’d start wanting more. I’d want to claim the part of Sendai-san that belonged to work and keep it all to myself, and I’d find myself wishing she’d quit her jobs.

            I didn’t like this side of myself.

            Some things were simply better left unknown.

            Loneliness. The fear of being alone.

            Just like with those feelings, if I never became aware of them, I wouldn’t have to see everything in such a negative light. I wouldn’t have to confront this side of myself.

            The parts of Sendai-san that I could never know were the same. As long as I didn’t try to find out, I wouldn’t have to look any deeper into these inexplicable feelings.

            I pulled my crocodile-covered tissue box toward me.

            I closed the map on my phone and set the device on top of the crocodile’s head.

            「I’m fine being by myself.」

            I murmured, as if trying to convince myself it was true.

            Before I started paying Sendai-san five thousand yen for her time, I used to spend all my time at home alone anyway. Long breaks like summer and winter vacation were nothing more than extended stretches of solitude. Even after Sendai-san started coming over, I still spent far more time without her than with her.

            Before Sendai-san and I became roommates, there was never anyone around on my birthdays either.

            But looking back on those memories only made me feel worse.

            Since there was no one else at home on my birthdays, there would always be leftover cake sitting in the refrigerator. Now that I thought about it, I always ended up eating the Christmas cakes my father bought by myself too.

            I got presents on birthdays and Christmas, but they always arrived late and were never things I actually wanted. My father was never there for those occasions either. Eventually, the presents were replaced with cash, and I continued spending those days alone.

            To most people, birthdays and holidays were special occasions.

            But for me, my father was never home, and Santa Claus never came.

            With every birthday and Christmas that passed, I grew more and more used to being alone, until eventually I became the kind of kid who was used to solitude.

            But ever since I started sharing an apartment with Sendai-san, things had begun to change. Being alone was no longer the norm, and because of her, I’d become someone who could finally say out loud that I didn’t like being home by myself.

            「… This is all Sendai-san’s fault.」

            I muttered as I squeezed the crocodile tightly.

            Unlike Sendai-san, the crocodile didn’t say anything back. It simply stared up at me, and the phone that I’d placed on its head earlier fell to the floor.

            「Ugh, I’ve had enough.」

            I picked up my phone and looked at the screen.

            I’d closed the map to the café a few minutes ago.

            But I still remembered where it was.

            Considering Sendai-san lived with me, the café where she worked wasn’t very far away. It was just as easy for me to get there as it was for her.

            Besides, Sendai-san was the one who had told me to come by sometime.

            My mind kept searching for reasons to go.

            It’s Sunday. There’s nothing to do at home anyway, and I’m bored.

            I guess I’ll go check out the café.

            Being home alone made me feel down, and I knew it probably wouldn’t be much different at the café. Even so, it had to be better than spending the whole day at home thinking about nothing but Sendai-san.

            I wasn’t going just because Sendai-san had invited me. And it definitely wasn’t because I couldn’t handle being home by myself or anything like that either.

            I sent Maika a message.

            『Are you free right now? There’s somewhere I want to check out.』

            Sendai-san had said it was fine if I wanted to bring Maika along.

            Besides, there was nothing strange about inviting a friend to a café on a Sunday afternoon.

            『I’ve got loads of free time. Where do you want to go?』

            Maika replied immediately, and I sent another message back.

            『Can I call you?』

            『Sure.』

            If we kept messaging like this, I felt like I’d end up talking myself out of going, so I decided to call her instead. After a few rings, Maika’s voice came through the phone.

            「What’s up, Shiori?」

            「Sorry for springing this on you so suddenly, Maika.」

            「No, no. I was actually pretty bored, so this is perfect. So, where do you want to go?」

            As I listened to her cheerful voice on the other end of the line, I stroked the crocodile tissue box cover’s head.

            What I was about to say wasn’t anything special. It shouldn’t have been a big deal at all. Visiting a roommate at their workplace was a perfectly normal thing to do.

            All I had to do was suggest it in my usual tone, the same way I talked to Maika at school.

            「I want to visit the café where Sendai-san works.」

            My voice wasn’t as cheerful as Maika’s, but it sounded like my usual self, which was a relief.

            「I’m totally down for that! I’ve actually been meaning to stop by sometime.」

            「That’s good. Then let’s go now.」

            「Oh, but are you sure it’s okay for me to come too?」

            For a split second, I found myself wishing Maika wouldn’t see what Sendai-san was like at work.

            But if I tried going alone, I knew I’d end up talking myself out of it.

            「Yeah, of course. Sendai-san was the one who suggested I invite you.」

            I said as I stared down at the crocodile tissue box.

            I wasn’t sure if I’d managed to sound casual enough.

            「I see. Okay, then I’ll start getting ready.」

            Maika replied cheerfully, and I felt a little more at ease.

            After agreeing on a time and place to meet, we hung up.

            I let out a sigh as I hugged the crocodile tissue box.

            I’d agreed to meet Maika at a nearby train station, and from there we’d walk to the café where Sendai-san worked.

            It was a plan we’d made together, and it wasn’t something I could back out of now.

            I stood up and opened my closet.

            My eyes drifted over the skirts hanging inside.

            I picked one up, only to put it right back.

            I was already wearing clothes that were suitable for going out. There was no reason to change. If I showed up in a skirt—something I hardly ever wore—it would surprise Maika, and Sendai-san would get the wrong idea and think I’d worn it for her.

            I quietly closed the closet, sealing the skirts away.

            As I paced around my room, my gaze fell on my bag.

            Maybe I should put on the lip balm Sendai-san got me, I thought.

            It wasn’t because I wanted Sendai-san to see me wearing it or anything. I’d been using it at university anyway, so if I showed up without it, Maika might say something.

            I took the lip balm out of my bag and removed the cap.

            Using a pocket mirror, I applied it to my lips.

            A sweet scent reached my nose, bringing back memories of the birthday I’d spent with Sendai-san, when we’d eaten a cake together. The image of Sendai-san from that day flashed through my mind, and with it came her voice.

            You look really cute with it on.

            It wasn’t like I thought about Sendai-san every time I put on the lip balm, but moments like this always brought her to mind.

            It was really annoying.

            After quickly applying the lip balm, I tossed it back into my bag.

            I left my room and headed for the front door.

            As I slipped on my shoes, my index finger gravitated to my lips on its own.

            「Ugh, how annoying.」

            I directed the complaint at Sendai-san, even though she wasn’t here to hear it, and stepped outside.

---

Sendai’s POV:

            I doubted Miyagi would show up today.

            Yesterday, when she’d mentioned that she didn’t like being home alone, I’d told her to come visit me at the café while I was working. But she hadn’t actually agreed to it.

            All she’d said was that she’d think about it.

            There was nothing in those words that sounded like a promise.

            And yet, I kept finding myself glancing at the entrance.

            I really hated myself for it.

            I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t stop myself from imagining Miyagi walking through the door and saying something like, “I came because you told me to, Sendai-san.”

            — Even though there was no way she was actually going to come.

            After glancing at the entrance one more time—something I’d already done at least a dozen times today—I headed over to where Noto-senpai had just taken a seat.

            「Have you decided what you’d like to order?」

            I walked over to Noto-senpai, who had claimed a table near the counter, and went through the usual server routine. She looked up at me, brushing her long hair back with an air of annoyance.

            「You’ve got a lot of energy for someone working a Sunday shift. You’re quite the hard worker, aren’t you, Sendai-chan?」

            「The manager gets worried if I don’t seem energetic enough.」

            「I bet there’ll never be a day when the manager has to worry about Mio, then. She’s been full of energy ever since this morning, talking about getting ready for the school festival.」

            「Mio really does seem like the type to enjoy every single day, huh.」

            「Well, having energy is a good thing. I hope you’re enjoying each and every day too, Sendai-chan.」

            Noto-senpai’s lips curved into a smile, her sharp, single-lidded eyes narrowing slightly.

            She looked more intimidating than gentle to begin with, but when she smiled, rather than making her seem friendlier, it gave her a suspicious air, as though she were up to something.

            「Well, I try to. Anyway, have you decided what you’d like to order?」

            I said, flashing Noto-senpai a smile as I tried to steer the conversation back on track.

            If I let myself get carried away chatting with her, I’d never get any work done.

            I was on the job right now, and I was only here to take her order.

            「Aren’t you going to help out with the school festival, Sendai-chan?」

            Despite my best efforts, Noto-senpai brought the conversation back to the school festival.

            「What about you, Noto-senpai? Aren’t you going to help out?」

            I couldn’t exactly brush off a regular customer. No one here ever got upset when employees spent a little extra time chatting with regulars, and keeping customers company was practically part of the job anyway. So I decided to indulge her for a little while longer.

            「I have no interest in the school festival. I guess you feel the same way, huh, Sendai-chan? … Anyway, are you expecting someone to come by today?」

            Her long, narrow eyes narrowed even further as she smiled.

            Honestly, she was always saying the most ridiculous things.

            Just yesterday, she’d asked whether I was strapped for cash or working here because I owed money to the wrong person. I was starting to think she simply enjoyed asking questions in poor taste.

            「Why do you ask?」

            I replied, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.

            「Because you keep glancing at the door.」

            Even though there was nothing particularly interesting about me, she seemed to have been watching me the whole time.

            I owed Noto-senpai for introducing me to the private tutoring job, but moments like this made her feel like a bit of a nuisance.

            「It’d be nice if they came by today.」

            I replied with a faint smile.

            If Noto-senpai had already noticed me staring at the door, there was no point trying to hide it. Rather than making up an excuse, it was easier to admit it and act like it wasn’t a big deal.

            「So, who are you waiting for? Your boyfriend? Or maybe your girlfriend?」

            「My roommate. Anyway, shall I get you a café au lait?」

            「What a shame. I wanted to chat with you a little longer. But yes, a café au lait, please.」

            「Alright.」

            I flashed Noto-senpai a bright smile and turned to leave her table.

            Or rather, I was about to.

            Just then, the door opened, and my eyes were drawn to it.

            — Miyagi.

            No way.

            I must be seeing things.

            There was no reason for Miyagi to be here. There was no way that was really her.

            I blinked and looked toward the door again.

            Miyagi was still there.

            And standing beside her was Utsunomiya.

            Why is she here too?

            The thought crossed my mind, but I immediately remembered that I’d been the one to tell Miyagi it was fine to bring Utsunomiya along if she came.

            And that’s exactly what she’d done.

            Gratitude and jealousy toward Utsunomiya welled up inside me, twisting together into something difficult to untangle.

            「So, Sendai-chan. Which one of those two is your roommate?」

            At the exact moment I least wanted to hear Noto-senpai’s voice, she spoke up.

            I consciously kept the corners of my mouth raised.

            It’s fine.

            Just keep smiling.

            「That’s a secret.」

            I answered in a cheerful tone.

            「Oh, come on, don’t say that. Make sure you introduce her to me later, okay, Sendai-chan?」

            「I’ll think about it.」

            Borrowing the same words Miyagi had used on me yesterday, I stepped away from the table.

            I had to go over to Miyagi now.

            I headed into the kitchen and placed two glasses of water on a tray.

            Welcome in.

            Even though it was a greeting I’d said countless times before, my heart thudded in my chest. It was a simple phrase, but the thought of saying it to Miyagi made me nervous.

            After taking a deep breath, I picked up the tray and headed over to their table with a smile on my face.

            Miyagi looked the same as always, while Utsunomiya had put a little extra effort into her appearance.

            「Welcome in.」

            It was a greeting I gave every customer, but this was the first time I’d gotten to say it to Miyagi.

            「You told me to come by with Maika, so here we are.」

            Maybe because Utsunomiya was with her, Miyagi sounded a little friendlier than usual.

            「I’m glad you came. I’ve been waiting for you.」

            「You’re so quick to come up with lies, Sendai-san.」

            「But it’s true.」

            I replied with a smile.

            「Was it really okay for me to tag along too, Sendai-san?」

            Utsunomiya asked, staring at me.

            「I’m the one who wanted you to come, so I’m glad you’re here. Anyway, I’ll be back in a bit to take your order, so take your time looking over the menu.」

            「Okay. Oh, by the way, you look nice in your uniform, Sendai-san.」

            「Thanks.」

            I replied to Utsunomiya with a smile before walking away from their table.

            If I could, I would’ve spent all day talking to Miyagi, but that wasn’t an option. It wasn’t especially busy, but there were still plenty of customers in the café.

            If I wanted to talk with Miyagi, I’d have to make the most of the brief moments when I took their order and brought out their food.

            I went back to work, serving drinks and food to customers. I brought Noto-senpai’s café au lait to her table and tried to slip away before she could strike up a conversation, but she stopped me in my tracks.

            「Hey, Sendai-chan. Is the girl with the shorter hair your roommate?」

            Right now, I was staff and she was a customer. Given our roles, I couldn’t just ignore her, so I had to answer.

            「What makes you think that?」

            「Let’s just call it an upperclassman’s intuition. Are those girls planning to come to our school festival?」

            I did want Miyagi to visit my school someday, and the festival would probably be the perfect opportunity.

            But not this year.

            I hadn’t told Miyagi yet, but this year I wanted to go to the festival at her university instead.

            「Who knows?」

            I wasn’t obligated to tell Noto-senpai everything, so I simply smiled and brushed off her question.

            「So, what are your plans for Christmas, Sendai-chan?」

            She asked, abruptly changing the subject.

            「Isn’t it a little early to be thinking about that?」

            I replied. She smiled and said,

            「I thought Mio might’ve invited you to hang out or something.」

            「Even Mio hasn’t started talking about Christmas plans yet.」

            「Well, what would you say if she did invite you to hang out on Christmas?」

            「I’d turn her down. I just want to relax at home.」

            Given how much Mio loved events like that, it wouldn’t have been surprising if she invited me to hang out on Christmas. I could already picture her getting excited about it as soon as the school festival was over.

            But I had no intention of spending Christmas with a loud, excited group of people like I did in high school.

            I couldn’t say for sure that I’d spend the whole day relaxing at home, but at the very least, I wanted to spend Christmas with Miyagi.

            「What, are you going to stay home waiting for Santa or something?」

            Noto-senpai asked in a carefree tone.

            「I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t believe in Santa.」

            「So you did believe in Santa when you were a kid, huh, Sendai-chan?」

            「Yeah, I did.」

            Back when my older sister used to read me picture books about Santa every Christmas, I believed in him. That was around the time when I was still a spoiled, innocent kid.

            「Huh, that’s kind of surprising.」

            「I better get back to work now.」

            At some point, I learned that Santa was really just my parents, and my older sister and I were disappointed to find out he wasn’t real.

            Even after we drifted apart, there was a time when I still held onto hope that Santa would come.

            But I don’t need Santa anymore.

            「Make sure you get along with your roommate, okay?」

            Noto-senpai said, and I answered with a smile.

            Leaving her table behind, I turned my attention to Miyagi.

            She seemed to be smiling about something as she talked with Utsunomiya, and I found myself wondering what they were discussing.

            I headed over to her table.

            I already knew exactly what I was going to say.

            Have you decided what you’d like to order?

            And I’d say it with the biggest smile I could manage.

---

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Chapter debt: 93

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