Hmm, which one should I use?

            I wondered as I looked back and forth between the nearly empty bottle of nail oil¹ on my desk and the brand-new one Utsunomiya had given me.

            Ideally, I wanted to finish the old bottle before opening the new one. But it was surprisingly persistent—it always seemed like it was about to run out, yet somehow never did.

            After hesitating for a while, I picked up the bottle of nail oil Utsunomiya had given me.

            Five days had already passed since Christmas Eve.

            I wanted to tell Utsunomiya what I thought of the nail oil after I’d tried it.

            I opened the small bottle filled with colorful dried flowers and applied the oil to the cuticles on my left hand.

            If my past self could see me now, using a gift from Utsunomiya, she’d probably be surprised. The only reason I could do something like this was because I was living with Miyagi. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

            Thinking about that stirred up all sorts of emotions in me, yet the Miyagi who had changed me so much had barely changed at all.

            But it wasn’t like she hadn’t changed at all.

            Unlike me, she just seemed to be changing at a much slower pace.

            I couldn’t help feeling frustrated by how slow that pace was. It made me want to take Miyagi’s hand and pull her along until she matched my own, but I knew there was no way she could change that quickly.

            I sighed quietly and rubbed the oil into my cuticles. Then I applied it to my right hand and rubbed it in again.

            Even after what happened on Christmas, Miyagi stayed at home, and today we even made dinner and ate together. It was different from the first time I’d touched her. Even after doing something like that, we’d gone back to our normal routine surprisingly quickly.

            We were both changing, even if we weren’t changing at the same pace.

            ｢Before I go over to Miyagi’s room, I should probably get ready for tomorrow first.｣

            I had my tutoring job tomorrow.

            I wanted to go over the material I was planning to cover with Kikyou-chan.

            Just as I was about to put away the bottles of nail oil I’d taken out, I heard a knock at my door.

            ｢Come in.｣

            I called out over the knocking, and the door immediately opened. A moment later, Miyagi stepped into the room.

            ｢I’m bored.｣

            She sat down beside me as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

            ｢You have exams right after the break, don’t you? Have you studied for them?｣

            ｢You’ve got exams too, don’t you, Sendai-san? Besides, I study while you’re at work.｣

            I wasn’t sure whether or not she was telling the truth, since I obviously wasn’t home. But I didn’t really care, as long as it meant Miyagi could sit next to me like this.

            ｢I see.｣

            ｢Were you in the middle of something?｣

            Miyagi asked, sounding displeased as she looked at the two bottles on the table.

            ｢I was just putting on some nail oil. Then I was going to start getting ready for tomorrow.｣

            ｢… You mean for your tutoring job?｣

            ｢Yeah.｣

            ｢Your student’s going to spend the end of the year studying? Tomorrow’s already the 30th.｣

            ｢I know, but her entrance exams are coming up.｣

            ｢Didn’t you say she gets really good grades? Do you really need to go?｣

            She wasn’t wrong.

            Kikyou-chan, whom Miyagi never referred to by name, had such good grades that she didn’t really need a tutor. She probably could’ve passed her high school entrance exams even without my help. Even so, both she and her mother had asked me to keep helping her study.

            I didn’t know whether she simply enjoyed studying or was just worried about her exams. Either way, if they wanted me to come over even at the end of the year, I had no reason to refuse. Besides, I wanted to help however I could.

            ｢Unlike you, she’s a very diligent student.｣

            ｢Hmm. Fine, then. Go get ready for your tutoring job tomorrow. I’m going back to my room.｣

            ｢I do need to get a few things ready for tomorrow, but I’ve still got time to talk if you want. I don’t have a shift at the café tomorrow, so I’m not in any hurry.｣

            If I let Miyagi go back to her room now, I had a feeling she wouldn’t come back again for the rest of the day. And even if I went to her room later, she might not let me in.

            ｢… Did you use the nail oil Maika gave you?｣

            ｢Yeah. I wanted to be able to tell Utsunomiya what I thought of it. What about you, Miyagi? Have you used the hand lotion I gave you?｣

            ｢I have.｣

            She answered immediately, and I reached for her hand as if to see how it felt. I gently stroked the back of her hand all the way to her fingertips, but Miyagi grabbed my hand as though to tell me she didn’t like it. Then she gave my hand—which I’d just applied nail oil to—a firm squeeze.

            ｢Aren’t you squeezing a little too hard for this to be a massage?｣

            Even though I hadn’t meant it as a complaint, she let go of my hand.

            Then she reached for the platypus-shaped tissue box in my room, pulled out a tissue, and wiped over my nails as though there were something to wipe away.

            She scrubbed my middle and ring fingers with the tissue, but when she reached my pinky, I grabbed her hand.

            ｢It’s not going to come off, no matter how hard you try.｣

            Miyagi was probably trying to wipe off the nail oil I’d applied.

            I couldn’t think of any reason she’d do that other than the fact that it was the nail oil Utsunomiya had given me. Just thinking that made my heart pound so hard it hurt.

            ｢I’m not trying to wipe it off.｣

            ｢Then what are you doing?｣

            ｢… I’m just annoyed that there’s something on you that I didn’t give you, even though you belong to me. That’s all.｣

            She said, her voice tinged with irritation.

            Those were exactly the words I’d wanted to hear, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

            Miyagi was directing feelings that could only be described as jealousy toward her own friend, Utsunomiya, and taking them out on me simply because I had a trace of her on me.

            It might sound a bit crazy, but seeing Miyagi like this made me happy. If it meant hearing her say things like that, it almost made me want to put on the nail oil Utsunomiya had given me again and again, even though Miyagi didn’t want me using it.

            In fact, I wanted to apply it right now in front of her just to hear her say those words again. But I knew that if I did, Miyagi would only get angry and leave my room.

            I gently pressed my lips to the fingertips of the hand I was holding.

            Instead of rubbing more nail oil into my own cuticles, I traced my tongue over Miyagi’s nails and slowly licked her fingers. Then I pressed my lips to the spot just above the second knuckle of one of her fingers and gently bit down.

            「Sendai-san!」

            Miyagi called my name angrily, but I kissed her middle finger before taking it into my mouth and gently biting down on it. I pressed my tongue against the pad of her finger, slowly licking it. The hard bone beneath my teeth and the softness of her finger seemed to melt together. When Miyagi tried to pull her finger free, I bit down harder to stop her, and she pushed against my shoulder.

            「I never said you could do this.」

            She said in a low voice. As she pulled her fingers away from me, she added, “Wipe them.”

            I pulled a tissue from the platypus’s back and slowly wiped her fingers. Then I took another tissue and wiped away the remaining traces I’d left on them before crumpling the white tissues together and throwing them away.

            「Is this good enough?」

            I asked, looking at Miyagi, and she gave a small nod.

            I didn’t like having to wipe away the traces of myself I’d left on Miyagi, so I ran my fingertips over her hand, knowing she’d never be mine. I stroked the nails I’d had in my mouth moments earlier, then squeezed her fingers tightly, causing Miyagi to flinch.

            Before she could pull her hand away, I grabbed her by the wrist.

            I pulled her toward me and kissed her.

            Without giving myself a chance to savor the softness of her lips, I slipped my tongue into her mouth. I traced her teeth, slid deeper inside, and tangled my tongue with hers as she tried to push me away by the shoulder.

            Just a little more…

            I caught her tongue as it tried to pull away, wanting to make the moment last a little longer.

            Miyagi’s hand tightened around my shoulder.

            The pain of her grip and the warmth of her tongue melted together, making me want her even more. As I wrapped an arm around her waist, she bit down hard on my tongue. I instinctively pulled back, our lips parting as Miyagi let out a small, ragged breath.

            It sounded just like one of the ragged breaths she’d let out on Christmas Day, and it made my heart leap.

            ｢Can I kiss you one more time?｣

            It wasn’t enough.

            I still wanted more of Miyagi.

            ｢No.｣

            ｢Then you kiss me, Miyagi.｣

            Even though I knew she wouldn’t, I asked for a kiss anyway.

            She picked up the platypus tissue box and pressed its beak against my lips.

            Taking it from her, I set the tissue box back on the floor and looked Miyagi straight in the eye.

            ｢That’s not what I meant.｣

            ｢I don’t want to kiss you. I just want to talk.｣

            ｢Alright, I’m okay with that.｣

            I still wanted to kiss her, but if talking was all Miyagi wanted, that was fine too.

            Yet even though she’d been the one to say she wanted to talk, she remained silent. She simply stared at the platypus tissue box without saying a word.

            I moved the platypus—which had completely captured her attention—onto the bed before speaking up.

            ｢Do you want to go to the zoo after the New Year? I’ll have a few more days off work then.｣

            ｢Won’t winter break be over by then?｣

            ｢We’ll go before it ends.｣

            ｢I don’t want to go if it’s cold, though.｣

            ｢Alright, then let’s make some teru teru bozu² and pray for a warm day.｣

            ｢Aren’t teru teru bozu for wishing for sunny weather?｣

            ｢Well, sunny days are usually warm, so whether we’re wishing for sunshine or warm weather, it’s all the same in the end, isn’t it?｣

            ｢You really do just make things up as you go, don’t you, Sendai-san?｣

            Miyagi said with an exasperated sigh.

            ｢It’s fine, isn’t it? Anyway, is there any animal you want to see in particular at the zoo, Miyagi?｣

            Teru teru bozu weren’t really worth talking about. If we were going to talk about something, I’d much rather talk about what we were going to do at the zoo.

            ｢… A shoebill.｣

            ｢Huh? A shoe… what?｣

            I’d never heard of that animal before, so I couldn’t help but ask.

            ｢A shoebill.｣

            ｢What is that?｣

            ｢A type of bird.｣

            ｢A bird?｣

            I couldn’t picture what kind of bird it was.

            Not even knowing whether it was a large bird or a small one, I pulled out my phone and looked up “shoebill,” and images of a large bird appeared on the screen.

            ｢You really do like some weird animals, Miyagi.｣

            The shoebill on my screen had an enormous head that looked like it’d make it hard to keep its balance.

            It was a dull, gray-looking bird, with nothing colorful about it. Its messy feathers made it look like it had bedhead.

            According to what I found online, shoebills apparently didn’t like moving around much either.

            ｢The animals I like aren’t weird.｣

            Miyagi said, looking genuinely offended despite having chosen crocodiles and platypuses for her tissue box covers.

            ｢Fine. They’re not weird, just unusual.｣

            ｢That’s basically the same thing. Anyway, what about you, Sendai-san? Are there any animals you want to see?｣

            As long as I got to see Miyagi enjoying herself, that was enough for me.

            But there was no way I was going to say that out loud, so I gave her a different answer instead.

            ｢I want to see a shoebill too, so let’s make sure we find one.｣

            I wasn’t lying.

            I really was interested in seeing the strange bird I’d looked up just moments ago.

            ｢It’s a promise, okay?｣

            I whispered, pressing a kiss to Miyagi’s earring.

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1. I forgot to footnote this in the chapter when Maika gave the bottle of nail oil to Sendai, and to be honest, I don’t think this is footnote worthy, but I’ll put it here for some fun little trivia for those that don’t know what nail oil is. Nail oil (or cuticle oil) is used to soften & moisturize your skin around your nail plate and to keep your nails flexible, which helps strengthen them and also reduces the chances of getting hangnails. ↩︎
2. A teru teru bōzu is a traditional Japanese doll made of white tissue paper or cloth which are usually hung outside doors and windows to ward off rain and pray for sunny weather. ↩︎

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Chapter debt: 90

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