People who set out to create art should experience as many works of art as they could.

     Creating, in Hatano’s view, was much like learning how to walk by following in the footsteps of the great works that came before. Bernard of Chartres believed that humans were able to see farther only because they stood on the shoulders of giants. By the same token, almost everything created today stood upon the foundation built by those who came before.

     But even without believing in such lofty ideals, one thing remained true: no one could hope to write something good without first knowing what good writing looked like.

     That was Hatano’s philosophy, and it was why she loved all kinds of creative works.

     Not just novels, but films, music, theater, and anime as well. Of all her hobbies, though, movies were her favorite.

     The same day she told the literature club she was quitting, Hatano stepped out of the movie theater after a late-night screening, stretching her arms overhead. The sky was already pitch black, and beneath the stars of the mid-autumn night, she could see her breath.

     Up until recently, Hatano had mainly written mystery novels. Lately, however, she’d begun to feel she’d reached her limit and figured it was time for a change. She’d decided to shift her focus to stories about youth and success instead, and tonight’s movie had doubled as research for that new direction. As it turned out, she’d enjoyed it far more than she’d expected.

     Lost in thought as story ideas swirled around in her head, Hatano came to a stop at a red light.

     Absentmindedly pulling out her phone, she noticed a message from someone she wasn’t used to hearing from.

     It was from Shinomiya.

     “Sorry about today.”

     The timestamp showed it had been sent three hours earlier, not long after she’d gotten home earlier that evening.

     As brief as the message was, Hatano hadn’t expected an apology from Shinomiya at all. She stared at the message in surprise, then let out a long sigh and gave a wry smile.

     It wasn’t as though Shinomiya had caused her any major trouble, and Shinomiya herself likely knew that too. Even so, she’d apologized anyway. Hatano couldn’t help but admire how conscientious she was.

     Hatano hesitated, unsure of what to reply with. Glancing up at the pedestrian light just as it was about to turn green, she hurriedly sent one of the stickers she usually used as her default response. Then she slipped her phone back into her pocket and started walking toward the station.

     “… Hmm.”

     But right after she crossed the street, Hatano suddenly came to a stop.

     Then she glanced toward the cluster of neon lights down the street to her right.

     The bar the literature club usually went to for its drinking parties wasn’t far from there. It wasn’t as though she particularly felt like drinking, but that message from her cheeky underclassman had gotten Hatano thinking about her a little. She had no idea what had happened after she’d left, but Shinomiya was probably out drinking with a guy again.

     That alone wouldn’t have bothered her. But what if she ended up dead drunk like she had the other night?

     Hatano didn’t particularly care who Shinomiya chose to spend the night with. It was the life she’d chosen for herself.

     And yet… now that Hatano knew a little more about the person behind that façade, she couldn’t help but worry about the self-destructive way Shinomiya lived.

     It wasn’t that Shinomiya was specifically interested in men or anything. More than anything, she simply wanted to be acknowledged by someone—regardless of whether they were a man or a woman, or whether that attention came in the form of affection or resentment.

     “Jealousy is just another form of admiration. It means they’re acknowledging me and my worth.”

     A remark Shinomiya had let slip while dead drunk the other night resurfaced in Hatano’s mind.

     Hatano stood there for a while, deep in thought, absentmindedly scratching the back of her head.

     “… Well, it’s not like I’m obligated to do anything for her, though…”

     She was beginning to understand that Shinomiya wasn’t a bad person.

     If Hatano had been at home, she wouldn’t have gone all the way out here for Shinomiya, but now that she happened to be nearby, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least check on her. Hatano still disliked the way Shinomiya lived and her way of thinking, but she wasn’t a bad person. Besides, however accidental it had been, they had slept together.

     “Hey! Quit trying to make moves on guys from other clubs!”

     An angry shout echoed through the street outside an izakaya near the station.

     A refined-looking girl with long black hair and glasses, the very picture of innocence, was in the middle of a confrontation with Shinomiya—a breathtaking beauty with chestnut-colored hair whose cheeks were faintly flushed from the alcohol. Looking as though she was about to grab Shinomiya by the collar, she shouted, spit flying from her mouth.

     “I’ve heard the rumors! They all say that you’re some shameless slut who does whatever she wants!”

     Passersby slowed their steps, watching the commotion from a distance.

     Shinomiya gave the emotional outburst nothing more than a cool glance before turning her attention to the group of flustered young men nearby.

     As far as she was concerned, she hadn’t done anything wrong.

     All she’d done was run into a female acquaintance from the tennis club, acting as though it had happened by chance, and tell her she was looking for people to have a few drinks with.

     Now, that same acquaintance was watching the scene unfold with obvious fear on her face, but Shinomiya wasn’t expecting her to step in. She’d already done more than enough by introducing Shinomiya to everyone.

     Having to reason with people several times a day was exhausting, so Shinomiya chose to enlist a little outside help.

     She bit her lip, put on a pained expression, and lowered her head ever so slightly. Then, wrapping her arms around herself, she apologized in a faint, trembling voice.

     “I’m sorry… I was just lonely. I didn’t want to be by myself.”

     The effect was immediate. Several of the young men sprang to her defense.

     “Hey, you didn’t have to talk to her like that!”

     “What’s so wrong about all of us having a drink together? What’s the big deal?”

     “No matter how angry you are, it’s completely out of line to insult someone you’ve just met.”

     The girl with the glasses, now being berated by several of the young men, shot back with a defiant, “Huh?” But her voice trembled.

     Sneaking a glance at her, Shinomiya covered her mouth as though trying to suppress a sob, but she couldn’t help smiling.

     It wasn’t as though she deliberately pursued married men, nor did she go after men who were already taken. She had simply said she was lonely and wanted people to have drinks with. Then, after she’d had a few drinks, she’d ask someone to walk her home. What happened after that would depend entirely on how much self-control that person had.

     She was happy.

     There were people who wanted to drink with her. People who were jealous because she attracted men’s attention. People who stood up for her.

     Everyone here recognized Shinomiya as a person and, whether their feelings were positive or negative, acknowledged her worth.

     The feeling made her so happy that it sent an almost pleasurable shiver through her body.

     If there was one thing she had to thank her parents for, it was giving her such beautiful facial features.

     Suppressing a sudden yawn, Shinomiya dabbed at the corner of her eye as though wiping away tears, then looked up at the most hot-headed of the men with pleading eyes.

     The moment he noticed, he raised his voice even more than before and resumed berating the girl with the glasses.

     With the tide now turned in Shinomiya’s favor, as long as no one else interfered, she could easily seduce one of the men to escort her home. Still, it was a little disappointing that there was no one around jealous enough to stir things up further. At this rate, it seemed like the women weren’t likely to stick around much longer.

     Besides, by this point, things had gone from an argument to outright personal attacks, so it was about time to bring the situation under control anyway.

     “P-Please, that’s enough!”

     Shinomiya pleaded in her usual sweet voice, bringing the young men’s barrage of criticism to a halt.

     Then she walked over to the girl with the glasses, who seemed to be on the verge of tears. Standing before her, Shinomiya let her own eyes well up before gently taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

     Shinomiya had been with women before. She couldn’t remember what had happened with Hatano the other night, but there had been a few others besides her. She had enough experience to understand how to make a move in situations like this. Right now, the only way for the girl with the glasses to save face was to accept Shinomiya’s apology. Thinking that would make for an interesting turn of events, Shinomiya began stringing together words she didn’t actually mean.

     “I’m sorry… The truth is, I’ve wanted to get to know you for a while now, senpai.”

     The moment the words left her lips, she felt the girl’s hand flinch ever so slightly. If the girl had reacted with nothing but disgust, Shinomiya would’ve changed course. But apparently, the girl’s heart was more vulnerable than she’d expected. Seizing the opportunity, Shinomiya intertwined their fingers and looked up at her with pleading eyes.

     “I’ve always thought you looked so cool playing tennis… But I’m terrible at sports, so this was the only chance I had to get close to you.”

     Shinomiya could see the girl’s eyes waver behind her glasses. Still holding her hand, she slowly stroked the pads of her fingers with her own.

     Noticing the girl’s cheeks beginning to flush, Shinomiya traced slow circles over her fingertips, letting out a soft, breathy sigh. Then, still lacing their fingers together, she gave the girl’s hand another gentle squeeze and pleaded with tearful eyes, her voice low and almost husky.

     “… Is that… bad?”

     Watching the girl swallow nervously, Shinomiya quietly stepped closer until they were close enough to feel each other’s breath.

     Shinomiya didn’t think someone like herself could ever truly fall in love with anyone. Whenever someone wanted something more from her, she always turned them down. That didn’t mean she was free of physical desire, though. Spending the evening with this girl didn’t sound so bad. Besides, Shinomiya figured this was the least she could do after getting the others to gang up on her like that.

     And by doing this, she’d make the guys jealous instead.

     The more she thought about it, the more excited she became. Who it was. How she’d do it. None of that mattered to Shinomiya. The only thing that mattered was that someone was looking at her. That someone acknowledged her. To Shinomiya, that was the only thing that gave other people value.

     Shinomiya continued to gaze at the girl before her, whose eyes seemed to be filled with equal parts excitement and turmoil.

     But just as the girl was about to open her mouth to speak…

     “Shinomiya.”

     It wasn’t a voice she’d known long enough to call familiar, but it was one she’d been hearing a lot lately.

     A woman’s voice rose above the commotion, and Shinomiya instinctively turned toward it.

     Standing among the stream of passing pedestrians was none other than Hatano, wearing a faintly stern expression.

     “… Hatano-senpai.”

     Shinomiya was surprised by how detached her own voice sounded.

     “So, what do you want?”

     The two of them walked aimlessly side by side, leaving the neon-lit entertainment district behind for a quiet street lit only by scattered streetlights.

     In the end, Shinomiya had given up on drinking with the tennis club. Of course, she could’ve simply ignored Hatano if she’d wanted to, but it seemed her mood had already been spoiled.

     When Hatano first spotted her, Shinomiya had been arguing with one of the girls from the club. Then, before Hatano knew it, she’d started trying to flirt with that very same girl. To Shinomiya, neither gender nor circumstance seemed to matter. Romantic entanglements were nothing more than a tool for satisfying her need for validation, whether that validation came through affection or resentment.

     Hatano wasn’t exactly someone Shinomiya liked, and now that the senior-junior relationship they’d shared in the literature club no longer existed, there was nothing really tying them together anymore. Even so, Shinomiya had dutifully responded when Hatano called out to her.

     Hatano chose to keep her explanation simple.

     “Well, I just happened to be in the area, and I saw you caught up in an argument, so I figured I’d call out to you.”

     “… Are you blind? Things were just about to work themselves out.”

     Shinomiya puffed out her cheeks slightly, clearly dissatisfied as she grumbled.

     Hatano shrugged in exasperation.

     “I don’t know. It didn’t look that way to me.”

     Hatano knew full well things had been about to “work themselves out.” But she couldn’t bring herself to approve of the way Shinomiya intended to resolve the situation. Of course, who Shinomiya chose to sleep with was her own business, and Hatano had neither the right nor any obligation to stop her.

     She simply found Shinomiya’s self-destructive way of living deeply unpleasant and wanted her to think twice before going through with it.

     She didn’t think Shinomiya was exactly an upstanding person. Then again, she’d never thought of herself as one, either.

     Realizing Hatano was trying to brush the matter aside by playing dumb, Shinomiya sighed.

     “… Oh, give me a break. How I choose to live my life is my business. Like, are you my mom or something? Unfortunately, the only thing that’s ever gone through your birth canal are my fingers.”

     “Well, who knows? You might’ve stuck your tongue in there too.”

     “My tongue’s not swollen, so that’s impossible.”

     Shinomiya said, emphasizing her nasty remark by sticking out her tongue.

     Scratching the back of her head, Hatano quietly covered up her true thoughts with another lie.

     “It’s not like I care how you choose to live your life. I really did just happen to be passing through. You were a familiar face, and it looked like you were caught up in an argument, so I called out to you. That’s all there was to it.”

     Hatano had come up with that lie simply to avoid the hassle of explaining herself any further. Shinomiya, however, remained silent for a while, her eyes fixed on the path ahead as they walked. Then she turned to Hatano, clear annoyance written across her face.

     “… I like it when people are jealous of me and when they look at me with desire. No, I love it more than anything in the world. I love having people acknowledge my worth. And you got in the way of that. Then, on top of that, you’re going to lie to me?”

     Unlike her usual banter, she seemed genuinely angry.

     “It’s not like I was trying to get in your way or anything…”

     “The fact that you called out to me at that exact moment says otherwise.”

     “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t jump to conclusions. You’re the one who decided not to go with them.”

     Hatano had wanted Shinomiya to think twice about what she was doing, but Shinomiya was the one who had the final say, and Hatano had left that choice to her. She could apologize for spoiling the mood, but she wasn’t sure if someone who had simply “happened to run into” Shinomiya and called out to her really owed an apology.

     That said, the truth was, part of Hatano had wanted to get in Shinomiya’s way. Shinomiya’s accusation wasn’t entirely off the mark, and Hatano let out a sigh. With no room left for rebuttal and seeing the deeply displeased look on Shinomiya’s face, she decided to reveal a small part of what she really felt.

     “… I just wanted to dissuade you from your unhealthy habit of hitting on everyone you meet.”

     Hearing Hatano finally admit how she truly felt, Shinomiya frowned in bewilderment. Then she let out a scoff, her lips curling into a sneer as she mocked Hatano.

     “You think you’re my girlfriend just because we slept together one time? Get over yourself. I don’t know what I was thinking the other day, but now that I’m sober, I can confidently tell you that you’re exactly the kind of person I hate the most, senpai.”

     Hatano felt the same way. Or at least, she thought she did. Yet for some reason, she’d selfishly tried to “correct” her acquaintance’s self-destructive behavior according to her own values. This time, she was undeniably the one in the wrong. Acknowledging that, Hatano lowered her gaze and apologized.

     “… I guess I got carried away and thought we’d become a little closer. Sorry.”

     As soon as the words left Hatano’s mouth, Shinomiya’s eyes wavered ever so slightly before she composed herself.

     Having said what she needed to say, Hatano decided there was no point in continuing the conversation. She turned toward the station and attempted to make her escape. But before she could get far, someone grabbed her by the arm.

     “Hey!”

     The voice sounded flustered, almost angry. Hatano turned to see who had grabbed her, only to find Shinomiya glaring back at her with a displeased expression on her face.

     “What?”

     “Don’t ‘what’ me! You’re seriously just going to leave like this? Are you stupid!?”

     Shinomiya’s furious outburst immediately rubbed Hatano the wrong way.

     “W-What do you mean, ‘stupid’!? I was leaving because you were clearly annoyed with me!”

     “I said your lecturing was annoying! I never told you to leave!”

     “You think I have any other reason to talk to you besides lecturing you? Idiot!”

     Hatano had only insulted Shinomiya because out of sheer annoyance. In response, Shinomiya glared back, her cheeks flushed with anger as she let out a muffled, “Grr.”

     The road to the station took them away from the busy shopping district, so there was hardly anyone around. Fortunately, no one had been there to witness their shouting match.

     Still wearing a dissatisfied expression, Shinomiya looked as though she were debating something. After a few moments of hesitation, she checked to make sure no one was around. Hatano braced herself for whatever Shinomiya was about to say, but instead, Shinomiya took her hand.

     “I told you already, didn’t I? I love being envied, and I love being acknowledged by others so much it makes me wet. Then you went and got in the way. Do you get what I’m saying? You left me high and dry, so don’t act like you can just walk away after meddling in my business.”

     Her cheeks flushed red as she complained.

     As Shinomiya spoke, Hatano felt her fingertip being guided toward the entrance to Shinomiya’s vagina. With every word that left her lips, the muscles there quivered ever so slightly. Warm and inviting, it seemed to beckon Hatano’s finger farther inside.

     Though caught off guard by Shinomiya’s sudden strange behavior, Hatano found herself feeling little hesitation. Just the other day, they’d seen each other completely naked and, despite remembering none of it, had slept together. Hatano herself had spent the morning unable to satisfy the desire she’d been feeling. And while she disliked Shinomiya as a person, she felt little physical aversion or disgust toward her. If it was nothing more than a physical relationship, Shinomiya was a perfectly decent partner.

     Shinomiya continued to complain, her breath turning white in the autumn night air.

     “At this point, even you will do, senpai. I was supposed to sleep with that other girl, but you got in the way, so you should take responsibility and do it with me instead… I may hate you more than anyone else in the world, but sleeping with you would still feel a hundred times better than taking care of myself.”

     Hearing someone say, “Sleeping with you would still feel a hundred times better than taking care of myself,” should have been at least a little flattering, but that didn’t seem to be the case here. To Shinomiya, satisfying herself alone was simply that meaningless to her. The only thing that held any value was doing it with someone who acknowledged her worth.

     Maybe she really did owe Shinomiya for getting in her way.

     A deep ache stirred within her, and her desire for Shinomiya began to drown out her better judgment. Even so, Hatano managed to summon every ounce of her remaining self-control to refuse. If she were to give in now, everything she’d said to Shinomiya up until this point would lose its credibility.

     “This is exactly why I’ve been lecturing you. To stop you from doing things like this.”

     Hatano’s refusal was firm, but Shinomiya frowned in disbelief.

     “We’ve already slept together once. One more time isn’t going to change anything. Or… is it because you don’t want me?”

     “You’re the kind of person I hate more than anyone else in the world, but I do think you’re attractive.”

     “Then what’s the problem?”

     “You’re a damn piece of work, but… after that text you sent me earlier today, I don’t think you’re a bad person. That’s why I want you to change the way you live. And that’s exactly why I can’t say yes.”

     Hatano stood her ground. In response, Shinomiya pouted.

     “I see you’re the kind of person to turn someone down but won’t let them hook up with anyone else either. Loosen up a little—both up in your head and down between your legs. Come on, it’s just a one-night stand.”

     “No.”

     “Nothing will change your mind?”

     “If you insist that I need to take responsibility, then I’ll at least pay for a sex worker.”

     As she spoke, Hatano reached into her pocket for her wallet, intending to press a few ten-thousand-yen bills into Shinomiya’s hand. It would be a painful expense, but she’d rather pay that than compromise her principles. Steeling herself, she started to pull the money out.

     “Oh, fine. I get it.”

     Looking thoroughly exasperated, Shinomiya stopped her.

     Still glaring at Hatano in annoyance, Shinomiya reluctantly offered an alternative.

     “I’ll just give up and take care of myself instead. Let me use your apartment. I want to get this out of my system as soon as possible, but my place is too far away, and I can’t exactly do it in a public restroom. Plus, I can’t do it unless I’m fully naked.”

     Letting a younger classmate from university use her apartment to masturbate sounded completely absurd. But sexual desire wasn’t something to be taken lightly, and Hatano couldn’t ignore the fact that she’d taken away the partner Shinomiya had managed to find for herself. She did owe her something, and agreeing to this wouldn’t mean compromising her own convictions.

     Reluctantly, Hatano realized she had no choice but to nod.

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