Click, click.

         The sound of a camera shutter kept going off over and over again beside me.

         It was Sendai-san, who was taking picture after picture of the shoebill in front of us with a serious look on her face.

         「Are you getting any good shots?」

         I asked Sendai-san, who was faithfully keeping her promise to take lots of pictures of the shoebill for me. She stopped tapping the shutter button for a moment and turned to look at me.

         「Sure am. I’ll send you the pictures of the shoebill later.」

         「Thanks… Um, do you think shoebills are cute, Sendai-san?」

         「I do. They might look kind of scary, but there’s something charming about them.」

         Really?

         I stared at Sendai-san’s face, trying to figure out whether she really meant that or not, but I couldn’t tell. Her feelings seemed hazy to me, as though they were hidden behind a veil of mist, and I couldn’t quite make them out.

         「Did you like seeing the shoebill, Miyagi?」

         「Yeah. It’s cute.」

         「I’m glad to hear that.」

         Sendai-san said with a bright, radiant smile.

         With her hair tied back in a ponytail, the blue stones in her earrings were clearly visible, which made her bright smile stand out even more. It was the kind of hairstyle I’d normally associate with summer, but somehow, it suited her just as well in winter. I found myself wanting to capture a picture of her ponytail swaying in the cold breeze.

         It was unfair how even winter seemed to be on her side.

         「How many more pictures are you planning on taking?」

         Unable to meet Sendai-san’s gaze anymore, I turned away and took a picture of the shoebill with my own phone before putting it back in my pocket.

         「As many as you want me to take.」

         「I think that’s enough. I took a few pictures of it myself, too. Is there anything you want to take pictures of, Sendai-san?」

         As soon as I asked, I heard the shutter click again, with her phone pointed straight at me.

         「That’s not what I meant.」

         I said, gently slapping the arm she was holding her phone with.

         「Even if you ask me that, I can’t think of anything else I’d want to take pictures of.」

         「Fine, then go back to taking pictures of the shoebill.」

         「Didn’t you just say I’d taken enough pictures of it already?」

         「I’m taking that back. Don’t use your phone for anything other than taking more pictures of the shoebill.」

         I said as I grabbed Sendai-san’s arm and pointed her phone toward the shoebill. With a resigned look on her face, Sendai-san snapped a single picture of the shoebill before immediately turning the camera back toward me.

         「Look over there.」

         I glared at Sendai-san as I pointed toward the shoebill.

         「I have been looking over there.」

         「Well, you’re not looking there now. And your phone’s still pointed at me.」

         「You’re so stingy, Miyagi.」

         She said, letting out an exaggerated sigh before turning her head toward the shoebill. I did the same and stared at the large bird with a tuft of feathers sticking up on the back of its head.

         We watched as the shoebill suddenly flapped its large wings.

         Sendai-san let out a quiet “Ah”, and I knew we were looking at the same thing, yet somehow, it didn’t feel like we were seeing the same thing.

         I’d had that strange feeling ever since we came to the zoo.

         「Sendai-san.」

         「What’s up?」

         What’s your favorite animal?

         Are you even having fun?

         Those were the things I wanted to ask her, but I felt like there was no point in doing so.

         Sendai-san always gave me safe, harmless answers whenever I asked her questions.

         If that was the case, then…

         ― Tell me what you’re really feeling, Sendai-san.

         If I made her promise to answer me honestly and swear it on my earrings, I’m sure I could get an answer out of her. But somehow, that didn’t feel right. It would be wrong to use these earrings to force her to tell me how she really felt.

         「… The shoebill sure is cute, huh.」

         I swallowed the questions I wanted to ask and said something far less interesting instead.

         I sighed and reached up to touch my plumeria earring. After running my fingers over it for a moment, I was just about to cover it with my hair again when Sendai-san grabbed my arm.

         「You look really cute right now, so just leave it like that.」

         「I don’t look cute at all.」

         I replied quietly to Sendai-san, who was staring intently at me.

         「I mean, the earrings look really nice on you. And I think you’re cute.」

         「Shut up, Sendai-san. You’re so annoying.」

         「I’m just saying I think you’re cute. What’s wrong with that?」

         Sendai-san said with a smile, and I let out a sigh.

         She never told me anything when it came to the things that mattered, but she was always so quick to say things that didn’t need to be said.

         「Whatever. Just let go of me.」

         「Will you leave your hair like that?」

         「I will, so let go of me.」

         「Okay.」

         Sendai-san did as I said and let go of my arm.

         With my ear exposed to the cold breeze, I felt colder, so I slipped my hands into my coat pockets and turned my gaze back toward the shoebill, which looked like it had a grumpy expression on its face.

         「… Sendai-san, are you really having fun?」

         Even though I kept telling myself not to ask again, I found myself asking her the same question over and over.

         「Haven’t I been telling you this whole time that I am having fun?」

         I got the answer I’d expected and quietly sighed. Then I drew another breath, but the cold air did nothing to ease the uncomfortable feeling sitting heavily in my stomach. If anything, it left me feeling like I could barely breathe.

         「… I keep asking because it’s been bothering me.」

         I muttered, then thought back.

         What had it been like when we went to the aquarium?

         That day had been a lot like today. There hadn’t been any shoebills around, but Sendai-san and I had watched the seals together, and we’d looked at the penguins, too. But back then, I felt like I’d been more focused on enjoying myself than on Sendai-san, unlike now. Plus, instead of wondering whether or not she was having fun, what I really wanted was an answer to the question Maika had asked her when she came over to our place.

         “Do you have someone you like, Sendai-san?”

         In the end, Sendai-san never told me how she felt that day at the aquarium.

         She’d brushed the question off by saying that the “person” she liked was Cali—the cat she often saw.

         Sendai-san was so hard to figure out.

         There were so many things about her that I didn’t know, and it was frustrating.

         I clenched the hands in my pockets into fists.

         My fingertips were freezing cold.

         The weather itself was nice, but the wind was picking up, so I moved a little closer to Sendai-san.

         Our shoulders gently brushed against each other.

         I couldn’t feel her body heat through our coats, but I could smell the scent of the shampoo we shared. Or maybe I was just imagining it. Still, it was a little comforting to find something we had in common—something I hadn’t felt all day.

         「I really am having fun, though, so don’t worry.」

         Sendai-san smiled before adding, “Wanna go see the crocodiles next?”

         「Why crocodiles?」

         「I mean, your tissue box cover is a crocodile, isn’t it?」

         「That doesn’t mean anything.」

         「Then are you saying you don’t want to go see them?」

         「… No, I do.」

         「Since we’re already here, I think we should go see the okapi first. Their enclosure is close by, and we can see the crocodiles afterward.」

         Sendai-san said before she started to walk away, but I quickly took my hand out of my pocket and grabbed hers.

         「Oh, do you not want to see the okapi anymore?」

         Maybe being physically close to her won’t change anything, but right now, I’d rather be close to her than far apart. Plus, it might help melt away the anxiety that had been weighing on my heart.

         「I do.」

         I said, squeezing her hand before taking a step forward. Then a second, and then a third.

         I walked ahead of her, practically pulling Sendai-san along with me as she followed with a confused look on her face.

         Our hands were cold, but as long as they stayed joined together, they’d warm back up eventually. And I wanted hers to be as warm as usual again as soon as possible. I just needed a hand warmer, and I had nothing else to use except Sendai-san’s hand. Of course, her hand wasn’t disposable like a normal hand warmer, but its job was still to keep my hand warm. Gloves just weren’t good enough.

         After admiring the okapi for a bit, we headed to a building where the crocodiles were. Since their enclosure was inside a tropical hall, it wasn’t nearly as cold as it was outside, but I kept holding Sendai-san’s hand anyway.

         「Sendai-san, of all the animals we saw today, which one was your favorite?」

         I asked, gently tugging on the hand I was still holding, even though I knew I probably wouldn’t get an answer from her anyway. But even though I knew full well there was no point in asking questions like this, I couldn’t seem to stop myself today.

         「Which one was your favorite, Miyagi?」

         「I want you to answer first.」

         「You should go first, Miyagi.」

         「No, you go first, Sendai-san.」

         「Hmm… Well, isn’t it kind of hard to pick just one?」

         「No, it isn’t. Just tell me which one was your favorite.」

         Hearing Sendai-san dodge my question, I gave her hand a firm squeeze.

         I wasn’t trying to hurt her, but I squeezed her hand hard, trying to get her to talk. Sure enough, Sendai-san quietly said,

         「Hmm, even if you say that, I still don’t know what to tell you. Besides, which animal I liked seeing the most isn’t really that important, is it?」

         「Sendai-san.」

         When I started to let go of her hand, she immediately said, “Okay, okay, wait. Give me a moment to think, and I’ll tell you.”

         I watched as Sendai-san furrowed her brows, something I rarely saw her do, and seriously thought about my question. Seeing her agonize so much over it made me feel like I was doing something wrong, so I decided to ask her something else.

         「Fine. If you really can’t pick a favorite, then tell me this instead. Out of all the animals we saw today, which one would you want to see again?」

         「Which one I’d want to see again?」

         「Yeah.」

         「Hmm… Let me think. If I had to choose one, I’d probably say the shoebill.」

         「You sound like you’re lying. Give me a real answer.」

         「Okay, then… What I’d actually want is to see you looking at the shoebill again.」

         「What kind of answer is that? Come on, take this seriously.」

         I glared at Sendai-san as she stood in front of the crocodile, an animal just as impossible to read as she was.

         「No, I mean it. If there’s one thing I’d want to see again, it’d be you looking at the shoebill. We don’t really get many chances to go anywhere together, so whenever we do, I want to see all the things you want to see. And I want to see your reaction to them.」

         Hearing her blurt out what sounded like a bunch of excuses to me, I had to suppress the urge to kick her in the leg.

         It just sounded like there wasn’t really anything she liked, or anything she actually wanted to see.

         Sendai-san was always so focused on the things I liked and the places I wanted to go. At first, I thought that was just her way of being considerate toward me, but now I was starting to realize that wasn’t quite it.

         It almost felt like something in her had been programmed solely to accommodate me.

         「I’m not the thing you’re supposed to be looking at, though.」

         I muttered my complaint, and Sendai-san quietly replied,

         「I know, but I want to look at you, so let me see you looking at the shoebill again sometime.」

         「You’re just trying to dodge my question.」

         「That’s not what I’m trying to do.」

         「… I’ll ask you again later which animal you liked seeing the most, and which one you’d want to see again, so make sure you have an answer ready by then.」

         There was no point in going back and forth like this.

         I wasn’t trying to figure out whether she was dodging my questions or not. All I wanted were answers to them, so I decided to leave her with something to think about for next time.

         「Okay, I’ll think it over.」

         「It’s not really something you need to think that hard about.」

         The way Sendai-san was going about this was all wrong.

         You shouldn’t have to think about what you like and then go out of your way to come up with an answer.

         We stepped out of the tropical hall and were immediately hit by a cold gust of wind, making me shiver.

         「You look cold, Miyagi.」

         Sendai-san said as she let go of my hand and gently brushed her fingers against my earring. She then covered my ear with my hair, hiding the earring, and adjusted the scarf around my neck without even asking first.

         「Looks like the wind’s getting stronger. Should we start heading home? We’re near the exit anyway. Or, if you want, we can go back and see some of the animals we missed.」

         「No, let’s just go home. We can always come back to the zoo another time.」

         I said, clutching the scarf she’d just adjusted for me.

         「Does that mean you’re willing to come to the zoo with me again?」

         「I said earlier that I’d ask you later which animal you’d want to see again, didn’t I?」

         「I didn’t think you meant we’d come back here together someday.」

         「Well, if you don’t want to, then just forget it.」

         「No, that’s not what I meant. I was just surprised. I mean, we also promised to go back to the aquarium together sometime, too. Are you really okay with this?」

         「… Well, we’ve got plenty of time to go to both. At least until we graduate, anyway.」

         Next time, I wanted to find out what else she liked aside from Cali.

         Since we were going to be living together for the next several years, I wanted to learn at least a little more about the things she liked.

         「So we’re really going back to the aquarium and the zoo again someday, then?」

         「I’ll leave that up to you to decide, Sendai-san.」

         「In that case, we’re definitely going to both. I guess we can just head home for today, then.」

         I wasn’t sure how much she was actually looking forward to going to these places, but she said it with a gentle smile and took my hand again.

         Her hand was cold to the touch once again, but it wasn’t so cold that I wanted to let go.

         I squeezed the hand that was gently holding mine in return.

         Sendai-san began walking slowly, and together, we left the zoo.

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Chapter debt: 76

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